Sensual or Sexual? Which one??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by drowning deep, Jan 21, 2009.

?

Sensual or Sexual Pleasure? Which one

Poll closed Feb 20, 2009.
  1. Yes I love sensual pleasure

    61.1%
  2. Yes I love sexual pleasure

    22.2%
  3. I'm not too fussed about the whole thing

    11.1%
  4. Snap out of it, he loves you like crazy so stop complaining

    5.6%
  1. drowning deep

    drowning deep New Member

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    Ok so I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now and things are going well with my partner. But one thing I'm missing is the sensual side when we have sex.

    While around each other there are the cuddles, kisses and caresssing etc but when it comes to sex it's just roll over, lube on and away we go! When we've finished it's just "get up, get cleaned and on with the day". I think this is a problem for me as I can't even getting semi-hard thru the whole thing and feel like it's a waste of time and energy for me.

    Maybe I'm too Hollywood but I really enjoy sensual sex more than stick it in and go like rabbits. Probably the reason why I don't get off on too many porno movies. And yes men do feel like this too :redface:

    Any suggestions??:frown1:
     
  2. D_Portelay Porquesword

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  3. Honey123

    Verified Gold Member

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    Baby, have you heard about this thing called communication? It is amazing but can be a little difficult to use if you haven't been practicing it enough. You need to talk to her. Schedule a weekend away at a hotel or away from the norm and make it all about the seduction, the foreplay. Tell her how much you miss this part of the love making. If she isn't into it then maybe there is a deeper issue that you need to work out.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    My wife is a bit like that after sex, so I communicated, which she sometimes forgets. Still I grab her afterwards for a cuddle, which I think is the best part of sex. Before sex there has always been a lot of sensuality between us, however. Not too little, not too much, just right.
     
  5. drowning deep

    drowning deep New Member

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    You know, what you see in Hollywood movies when it comes to sex scenes etc and it's all sensual and passionate blah blah blah :redface:
     
  6. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    The first thing that comes to my mind is that maybe it is not the event itself that is unsensual, but rather the way that you are perceiving it.

    IMHO, there are two ends of the spectrum of sex.

    On one end it is all about reaching an orgasm; it is physical sex. On the other end it is all about connecting; it is emotional sex. Neither is better than the other.

    Everyone has a spot - a balance - of where they like to be on this spectrum. If you feel like you are living too much in the physical sex world then, as others have said, you should talk it out.

    Another thing that came to my head is... what is a more emotional sex experience to you? In other words, what could happen where you could point your finger and go "THAT was sensual lovin!"

    Sitting here, I can't really even think of what I would specifically consider to me more emotional over physical except for how I perceived the session. I, like you, prefer more sensual love than physical nut busting.
     
  7. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    I'd say that sensual love would have to involve cuddling and some extended period in the bed...or wherever we are at afterwards. Otherwise, I just don't see the point. Maybe I am too romantic in those means, but if I wanted to bust a nut I'd just call up a freak and do it.

    If its suppose to be sensual, then we got to make some transitions and break through walls after sex. That would be more emotional and spiritual for me. The physical part, to me atleast, is granted. I mean...we are physically...fucking, lol, right?
     
  8. MagicJohnsonFan

    MagicJohnsonFan New Member

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    I agree. How will she know how you feel if you don't talk to her about it? If she cares about you she wants to make you happy and will make an attempt. Although, it may be possilbe that she has some sort of issue that makes it difficult for her - hopefully, if that's the case she'll share it with you.
     
  9. HazelGod

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    I'm fairly sure the OP was whinging about his relationship with another guy. :wink:
     
  10. MagicJohnsonFan

    MagicJohnsonFan New Member

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    :oops: Doh!! That's what happens when I multi-task.
     
  11. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    That's how I read it HazelGod, but be that as it may...

    There's a time and a place for both so I couldn't vote. There are also ways to incorporate both simultaneously which I think is what the OP is talking about. Sometimes I want sensual, loving sex with my bf and sometimes I want a raw fuck...it depends on lots of things.

    But Honey and others are right, the key is communication. Talk to your 'partner' and explain how you feel, discuss the differences you perceive between making love and fucking, etc. You'll both benefit from it.
     
  12. MarkLondon

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    Well, speaking as a gay man, I can go out (or hook-up on the internet) and get sex any old time (theoretically, lol). But the connections I remember and want to further are based on sensuality.
     
  13. drowning deep

    drowning deep New Member

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    And there you go!! With but one sentence the responses switch from predominantly straight to predominantly gay re:member sexuality.:eek:

    And yes you are right HazelGod.. though not too sure about the whinging part hehehee:biggrin1:
     
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