serious medical question for bottoms who have xxl hung boyfriends

[wristthickxl]

Thanks to all of the last posters....Please keep the helpful suggestions and ideas coming!

Yes, we use condoms......I use the old ones from theyfit.com, then we switched to a woman's condom and then even went without a couple of times (we are both tested, etc.....but still, wasn't something I was keen about doing and we have both been since tested again)..

We have also tried all kinds of lubes and positions as I indicated.

I think Jason has hit the nail on the head.....but any other suggestions are very welcome..

Thanks to those of you trying to help us!!

 

[svevremenski]

Sir, you have been honored to witness what I believe is a rare case of Jasonian irony.
Treasure it.
I would.

well, i'm missing it. it's obviously a whole new concept with only a loose connection to regular irony of mortals.

 

[DaveyR]

well, i'm missing it. it's obviously a whole new concept with only a loose connection to regular irony of mortals.

Your answer about it being a one way street was less than helpful. If you can't say anything helpful nor constructive then say nothing and look at the galleries to fill your time in

 

[svevremenski]

Your answer about it being a one way street was less than helpful. If you can't say anything helpful nor constructive then say nothing and look at the galleries to fill your time in

hey, i am 1% gay. don't be so harsh... ok, i'll shut up

 

[DaveyR]

hey, i am 1% gay. don't be so harsh... ok, i'll shut up

Ok fair enough. You've had 1% of your time in this thread :wink:

 

[ledroit]

I would like to thank those of you who took this seriously. I appreciate it.

Good for you wrist, both for posting the question and taking the high road with idiot responses. The important thing in any relationship is talking, keeping your mind open, and solving problems together. It sounds like you both like each other and like having sex. You prefer anal sex, but other kinds of sex can show your partner that he is more important to you than anal sex is, and that with some creativity, toning, advice, some expert advice and exercises or remedies, you can work this out. Bottoms tell me that girth is a plus, and chances are for your BF the pluses will outweigh the minuses, once this gets under control. If other guys can find a solution, I'm sure you can too. And will.

 

[FRE]

I don't know the history of anal sex where you live, but here in the U.S., although anal sex has always been around, it was not popular 'til the late 1970s or early 1980s. Before that time, many, perhaps even a majority, of gay men did not want anal sex. I do not know what caused the change; there are a number of theories. But older guys will verify that there has, in fact, been a change.

What I say can be verified. In the early 1970s, all issues of the "Advocate" included the personals section. Guys would advertize for sex partners and state what they wanted; there were abbreviations for all the common acts. Anal sex was called "Greek" and abbreviated ga for Greek active and gp for Greek passive. Oral was called "French" and was abberviated fa for French active and fp for french passive. Hand jobs were called j/o. There was also versitile, which meant anything was OK. From reading the advertisements, it was clear that oral was by far the most common and that anal was the least common.

So far as I know, there have not been any genetic changes which would explain the shift to anal sex. But if before 1980 guys were happy without anal sex and in fact most avoided it, it seems to me that people could adjust to other ways to have sex and avoid the problems, which are many, that anal sex causes.

 

[meerin]

I don't think it's genetic FRE, views on sex seem to be cyclical. Humans go through periods of blatant sexuality- think Greece and Rome, Ancient Egypt, Babylon- to periods of victorianism. But even in the more reserved times, most things are still going on behind closed doors. I also think it's technology. With the printed word and the internet, people get exposed to things and want to try them. Not a bad thing in my opinion.

wristthickxl You are an absolute angel for putting your lovers comfort above what you want. I hope he appreciates it and gives you a lot of oral while you are waiting for his appointment.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

well, i'm missing it. it's obviously a whole new concept with only a loose connection to regular irony of mortals.

He's just joking.

 

[F_Man]

Sir, you have been honored to witness what I believe is a rare case of Jasonian irony.
Treasure it.
I would.

I love it, Senor, as I did the original post. Fun & appreciated :smile:
FinnMan

 

[Rowan Ravenseed]

I read through most of these and i think quite a few people have been right in suggesting pelvic floor muscles........

I have a few questions though.... has your man bottomed before? Is he familiar with bottoming? Is he a regular bottom? how hard to do top him?

Could be that your pounding him too hard (I am being serious) Have you tried taking is slow and gentle...... try teaching him to clench down using a finger and have him clench down on your finger...then try a small dildo have him clench on that....the use a bigger dildo and have him clench down on that then have him clench down on your cock while your inside him (not while your fucking him though that could cause damage) That will help him to become aware of those muscles and how to control them and its also some good fun butt play.

Believe it or not the anus is actually self lubricating to a certain extent and I think you'll find the seepage is more than likely a combination of fecal matter lubricant and butt juice for lack of a better word.

Have you tried douching after sex?

 

[MuscledHorse]

I have frequent sex and have had everything in me including hands and oversize toys and not had a problem with control. But as others have pointed out doing exercises for the anal muscles helps. I've no doubt my leg routine at the gym has helped mine.

 

[wristthickxl]

Hi Rowan, many thanks for the interest and feedback...

He has bottomed before, many times...but never with anyone as thick as me (again, a real 7 inches..which is not even registered on the nurse-measured surveys from Durex, etc..that is the problem). I do not top him hard. I am gentle....and yes, he has tried douching after sex..which hasn't helped...he says he feels like his sphincter is not closing and that is why he has he leakage and smell...

by the way folks, I have copied your answers (the helpful ones) and printed them out for him...

I read through most of these and i think quite a few people have been right in suggesting pelvic floor muscles........

I have a few questions though.... has your man bottomed before? Is he familiar with bottoming? Is he a regular bottom? how hard to do top him?

Could be that your pounding him too hard (I am being serious) Have you tried taking is slow and gentle...... try teaching him to clench down using a finger and have him clench down on your finger...then try a small dildo have him clench on that....the use a bigger dildo and have him clench down on that then have him clench down on your cock while your inside him (not while your fucking him though that could cause damage) That will help him to become aware of those muscles and how to control them and its also some good fun butt play.

Believe it or not the anus is actually self lubricating to a certain extent and I think you'll find the seepage is more than likely a combination of fecal matter lubricant and butt juice for lack of a better word.

Have you tried douching after sex?

 

[mesaazguy]

I am and bottom I do not think a break in anal sex is the cure. I think the cure is more anal with resistance. On a every other day basis. Almost like muscle building in a gym. Basically he needs to squize his sphincter as tight as he can for as long as he can while you are fucking him. He will feel reallly sore the next day as you would when going to the gym. However each day the muscle has 1 day to tear down and 1 day to rebuild. After a while it gets soo tight you will be begging him to clench tight on you penis. I have had boy friends that were shocked at the strength of my sphincter. I was taught to do that by my 1st hubby who was 24 yrs older and into having me 1, 2 , or even 3 times a day oral anal etc. He was hung like you and over the 9yrs my sphincter had amazing control and I did not know till we had been boken up and I was dating anyone I dated always was comenting on how tight I was. The good part is as tight as you get you also gain more control. Hope that helps!

 

[LittleDude]

I don't know if this is a factor with you and your bf or not, but when I first stated having anal sex (as the bottom), I had a bit of the same problem although I wasn't taking one as big as yours. It went away after a while. So, if your BF is new at this, the problem might abate on its own. I hope that neither of you give up on this, even if you need to cut back on the frequency for a while. Try the exercises, go the medical route, take it slow, perhaps explore some other options sexually (although I know there is nothing quite like it). Good luck.

 

[toobig4u]

same thing happened to my old GF. Some can take it, and some cannot.

 

[Biggin']

now im hungry for chocolate

 

[FRE]

I would put the emphasis on exploring other options.

I don't know if this is a factor with you and your bf or not, but when I first stated having anal sex (as the bottom), I had a bit of the same problem although I wasn't taking one as big as yours. It went away after a while. So, if your BF is new at this, the problem might abate on its own. I hope that neither of you give up on this, even if you need to cut back on the frequency for a while. Try the exercises, go the medical route, take it slow, perhaps explore some other options sexually (although I know there is nothing quite like it). Good luck.

 

[Tanvir]

I would suggest a surrogate with a larger ass and anus--probably a larger guy. Lighten up on your bf and share the surrogate between you.

Is your BF an Asian?

 

[D_Ottwell Multitudinous Boobage III]

lol the asshole can strech as far as a cd lol