Serious Question - The Occasional Big Dick

fournineteenfiftynine

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I've met the love of my life. We got engaged recently and likely married next year. We are both 50s...I was married to a woman with children and he was in a 20 plus year partnership with a man. But we love each other and get along great. Very happy overall!

Sexually we are still figuring things out. I'm optimistic our sex life with each other will be satisfying and I know we love each other.

Here's my question. At some point, I may want to introduce the idea of a once a month playtime with with a guy with a huge cock. We are both average. We like each other's penises. But I know I fantasize about huge ones and I think he does too. It might just be hiring a well hung masseuse once in awhile. I just think that I want to play with a big cock once in awhile.

What do you think about the idea? My only fear is that he would think that I think he is inadequate because I fantasize about big dicks.

Thoughts?
 

fournineteenfiftynine

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Have you asked your partner if he had a monogamous or open relationship with his last partner of 20+ years?
They basically had a sexless relationship for most of the time and kind of had a don't ask, don't tell policy. So they had an open relationship of sorts but it wasn't what I would call healthy. I won't sacrifice the loving relationship for a thrill every once in awhile. I actually think he would be okay with the conversation and I would trust his feelings. I was just wondering if other people have a similar situation or advice to bring.
 

Brodie888

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They basically had a sexless relationship for most of the time and kind of had a don't ask, don't tell policy. So they had an open relationship of sorts but it wasn't what I would call healthy. I won't sacrifice the loving relationship for a thrill every once in awhile. I actually think he would be okay with the conversation and I would trust his feelings. I was just wondering if other people have a similar situation or advice to bring.

I would bring up the subject in a very hyperthetical and nonspecific way. I'd suggest talking to him about what he's into sexually, what things he's tried or would like to try and more importantly what he's totally against.

If he is making the right kind of sounds then you can bring in the hyperthetical scenario of an occasional third person. I wouldn't mention the big penis part, that can kind of coincidentally happen on the day if you know what I mean.

Being newly engaged, if he's not interested in a third then you can trigger alarm bells so I'd be careful. Then you really need to weigh up your priorities.
 

fournineteenfiftynine

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I would bring up the subject in a very hyperthetical and nonspecific way. I'd suggest talking to him about what he's into sexually, what things he's tried or would like to try and more importantly what he's totally against.

If he is making the right kind of sounds then you can bring in the hyperthetical scenario of an occasional third person. I wouldn't mention the big penis part, that can kind of coincidentally happen on the day if you know what I mean.

Being newly engaged, if he's not interested in a third then you can trigger alarm bells so I'd be careful. Then you really need to weigh up your priorities.
Great advice! Thank you!
 
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They basically had a sexless relationship for most of the time and kind of had a don't ask, don't tell policy. So they had an open relationship of sorts but it wasn't what I would call healthy. I won't sacrifice the loving relationship for a thrill every once in awhile. I actually think he would be okay with the conversation and I would trust his feelings. I was just wondering if other people have a similar situation or advice to bring.

I think here's the basis of your answer. The 'don't ask, don't tell policy isn't right, so it never hurts to open up to your fiancee. You're both in your 50's, been around and you're committed to each other. Try the truth and don't hide.

In the original post you mentioned you were still figuring out things sexually.
This is part of that. Your partner might want to know you're not looking for another husband though.
And both of you need to be confident about yourself and each other for an arrangement like this to work out.
 

OKCLane

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I would want to know why the other relationship ended. 20 years is a long relationship to leave and that reason is important for your relationship.
If he wanted to escape the multiple partners and seeks the stability of one, this probably isn’t the time to bring it up.
I do like your idea of a playful masseur as it’s possibly the least threatening option.
 

Once4gain

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They basically had a sexless relationship for most of the time and kind of had a don't ask, don't tell policy. So they had an open relationship of sorts but it wasn't what I would call healthy. I won't sacrifice the loving relationship for a thrill every once in awhile. I actually think he would be okay with the conversation and I would trust his feelings. I was just wondering if other people have a similar situation or advice to bring.