Serious Question???

[Amber1]

Hey,

So I've met someone a little while ago!!! Shock horror!!!

And things have progressed somewhat in the bedroom direction.....

And yes i do like him a fairbit aswell which helps.

PROBLEM is this....

He says he likes girls who are bossy in the bedroom...and I am a helluva lot more on the submissive side...I just like to tease,tease,tease.

Well....We seem to fancy each other plenty, and god knows there's plenty of chemistry there, its just I'm worried I'm doin summin wrong....

Seriously.

I've never really bossed anyone around in bed.

In day to day life I have my stroppy little moments now and then and can be quite assertive when I want BUT NOT IN BED!!

And now I'm a bit worried, what if I can't be bossy in bed???

I've never done it!!!

has anyone any advice...

guys who can give me tips or say what they like in a domineering woman????

Girls who are good at bein bossy???

Anything....cos I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark here!!!

:frown1:

 

[thirdlegmeat]

That's certainly an interesting dilemma, Amber. I've always been of the belief that dominance/submission is a natural instinct and is hard to fake. It sounds like he just isn't a "dominant" guy sexually. Perhaps the two of you are mis-matched sexually.

Sorry that I don't have better advice, but this generalization is just something I've noticed personally. You are probably better suited with a take-charge guy who is naturally geared that way.

 

[Amber1]

That's certainly an interesting dilemma, Amber. I've always been of the belief that dominance/submission is a natural instinct and is hard to fake. It sounds like he just isn't a "dominant" guy sexually. Perhaps the two of you are mis-matched sexually.

Sorry that I don't have better advice, but this generalization is just something I've noticed personally. You are probably better suited with a take-charge guy who is naturally geared that way.

Thats okay....but we do seem to really fancy each other!!

You know when u just know when u meet!!

its not that things have gone badly so far...just that I wanna be able to try that....

But I never have....doesn't mean I'm incapable does it??

I've no problem bossin him around at other times, but.......I'm not used to doin it in bed.

 

[likesnewthings]

i agree. it might be a lot of effort for you to try and be dominant, and i suspect you will feel self-conscious doing it. however- this may be an opportunity to expand your horizons. even if you-re not naturally dominant in bed, you may learn to like it or discover you have an inner beast :tongue: you could start by jsut telling him what you want him to do. tell him exactly how you want your pussy eaten. tell him to lick your ass if you want. whatever you feel like doing- live in the moment and express exactly what it is you want. if you're on the fence about saying something, just say it anyway. you can then move onto to tying him up to the bedpost, or a chair with his hands behind his back. sit on his face- some guys, even dominant ones, enjoy that. if you do these things and it's just not working, then at least you've tried, and there's no shame in returning to what's comfortable. but again, i have a feeling that you're just a natural sub and that's cool.

 

[Amber1]

i agree. it might be a lot of effort for you to try and be dominant, and i suspect you will feel self-conscious doing it. however- this may be an opportunity to expand your horizons. even if you-re not naturally dominant in bed, you may learn to like it or discover you have an inner beast :tongue: you could start by jsut telling him what you want him to do. tell him exactly how you want your pussy eaten. tell him to lick your ass if you want. whatever you feel like doing- live in the moment and express exactly what it is you want. if you're on the fence about saying something, just say it anyway. you can then move onto to tying him up to the bedpost, or a chair with his hands behind his back. sit on his face- some guys, even dominant ones, enjoy that. if you do these things and it's just not working, then at least you've tried, and there's no shame in returning to what's comfortable. but again, i have a feeling that you're just a natural sub and that's cool.

Christ I think I could do that...doesn't sound too difficult...I'm just worried he's gonna want me to really hurt him or something or call him names or worse and I'm really not keen on the idea of hurting him physically.

Or talkin to him like he's a peice of shit.....

On the plus side he did pay me LOADS of attention the other nite in bed....so it could be worse, I mean thats new!!

 

[D_Landrocke DeLonguepiece III]

First, be yourself. That's the only person you can be. You don't need any added pressure when it comes to sex with someone the first few times. It can be a little nerve racking already. And he needs to realize that you are who you are.....and not someone different. Now, when you are comfortable with each other, then you can get into some role playing and fantasy stuff. Once again, depends on your comfort level. But that is when you can get some ideas from him on what type of "bossy" play he enjoys. If her really values you, then he will let it play out and not try to change you.

 

[Stephenmass]

Sometimes you don't have to be so much dominant, just let him know when he's doin something right! Like "damn that feels good" or "don't stop"....etc.... Try being a bit more verbal first, especially with things you actually are enjoying the hell out of.

 

[Amber1]

Thanks a lot to every1 who replied...

I think this is my favourite advice!!

First, be yourself. That's the only person you can be. You don't need any added pressure when it comes to sex with someone the first few times. It can be a little nerve racking already. And he needs to realize that you are who you are.....and not someone different. Now, when you are comfortable with each other, then you can get into some role playing and fantasy stuff. Once again, depends on your comfort level. But that is when you can get some ideas from him on what type of "bossy" play he enjoys. If her really values you, then he will let it play out and not try to change you.

Yes I agree at the start there is enuff pressure already...So I think I will just see how it goes at first...and then maybe try out new things!! :wink:

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

dominance doesnt mean hurting him. i like dominant girls. chances are if hes like me, he wants you to have a good time but doesnt know how to for you just yet. in enough time he may just learn what you like and do it without you having to tell him.

 

[hockeyguy741]

Try going about it in a joking was by saying "give me that now" or grab his cock and say that's mine, you can do it just have fun

 

[Amber1]

Try going about it in a joking was by saying "give me that now" or grab his cock and say that's mine, you can do it just have fun

Oooohhh thats sounds fun!!!

Actually a few times I've caught him off guard and sed dirty things to him and he looks sort of shy!! I do quite enjoy shockin him a bit....just now and then!!! :biggrin1:

 

[nubstar]

From my perspective, I really enjoy when a woman exudes confidence. That said, I'm usually the "dominant" partner. I'm not exactly sure to what extent your guy likes to be "bossed around", but one thing I can suggest is to be yourself and go for what you want. Be aggressive (to a degree), and don't be afraid to tell your partner what you want. Tell HIM how you want to be fucked, tell HIM to go harder or slower. Doesn't have to be vocal communication either, physically grabbing his ass and pulling him into you does the trick, too.

If he wants to be smacked around, insulted, and all that jazz, then I'm not sure - out of my league

edit: You know what you like, so you're already headed in the right direction.

 

[Amber1]

Hmmmm,

He keeps offering to fix things around my house aswell....

And my coffee table just fell apart on me!!(its a shit table)

So naturally I've let him know, I'm wonndering if when he comes to fix it I should talk to him in a really bossy manner??? :saevil:

Perhaps I should get the whip out too!! (jokes) :smile: