Oh, one question I haven't asked yet is how would a guy feel about being asked to do this? I figure easy sex with an attractive woman wouldn't exactly be something he'd be upset about, but would you feel like a piece of meat? I don't want to be totally oblivious of his side of it. This guy and me have been FWBs for over 6 months so I know he's fine with casual sex. Just curious what the guys think.
Setting GF Up
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rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
I think you should ask him and not assume that he'd just jump at the chance. People have made the same assumption of me, and that was a huge turn-off.
Sounds great, as long as she's not batting for the other team after being in prison (it happens)
But won't you get jealous of your FWB being with your friend or are you not even the slightest bit emotionally involved?
I thought you would be cos it seems like you've been benefiting each other for awhile now :smile:
But won't you get jealous of your FWB being with your friend or are you not even the slightest bit emotionally involved?
I thought you would be cos it seems like you've been benefiting each other for awhile now :smile:
Short answer: you're right. Long answer: I like the guy, and he makes me cum my brains out :tongue: . I guess that's emotionally involved :biggrin1: . Sure, I suppose I feel a bit territorial, and for sure that was a thought. Actually, it's funny you mention this, because just this morning I was talking to a girlfriend of mine and she mentioned with all the guys we know, we should pick someone else. And she's right. At first I was set on this guy because I think part of me wanted to pick someone I know well :biggrin1: because then I know he'll treat her (and do her) right. But I have quite a large social circle and the more I think about it the more it seems totally reasonable to find a guy who wouldn't be sandwiched in between us like that (not literally, as I'm sure he'd like that). And we're still a few weeks away from the "event." I have a pretty wide circle of girlfriends and there is still time to find another equally good candidate. We certainly have not settled on him yet!
SH
I am sure your guy will be up for it, I think most of us guys would be, it is the extreme minority of us that ever get the 'priveledge" of feeling like "just a piece of meet" That being said there is a risk though that they may hit it off better than you intended. If that were to happen how would you feel? Maybe you should considered Mr. "paintbrush", the one you had the fling with this last summer, you know he had some skills and after two years just might "fit better". I take it he is not now quite the FWB as the one you first considered is, so if they were to hit it off and start going at it night and day like rabbitts it would not be near the big deal for you.
I am sure your guy will be up for it, I think most of us guys would be, it is the extreme minority of us that ever get the 'priveledge" of feeling like "just a piece of meet" That being said there is a risk though that they may hit it off better than you intended. If that were to happen how would you feel? Maybe you should considered Mr. "paintbrush", the one you had the fling with this last summer, you know he had some skills and after two years just might "fit better". I take it he is not now quite the FWB as the one you first considered is, so if they were to hit it off and start going at it night and day like rabbitts it would not be near the big deal for you.
Well, Mr. Paintbrush is in a relationship as of 2 months ago (the last we spoke), which is why he and I stopped fooling around. But as for your point of what if they hit it off, seriously, that would be great. I would definitely miss having his sexual talents for myself, but if it meant her having a good relationship with a guy, how could I not go for that? I mean, sure, I get a few good lays every month out of it, but she's been through a lot. So that would be fine except that who knows how jealousy still might play into it. It's all very complicated
.Like I said we have a couple weeks to sort this out and decide which guy to ask. My girlfriends know men too :smile: .
You may be making some wild assumptions about the penal system. In this case, assumptions are probably a bad idea.
Your friend's problems are just beginning - putting some mileage on a bed is probably somewhere near the bottom of her list of worries. Friends come in all shapes and sizes, of course, so I can't say that she'll be offended if you treat her problems so cavalierly - any of my friends certainly would be offended if they were treated that way - but you should perhaps not tell her what she needs or guess at what she needs, but find out what she needs, and then exert yourself to provide it. Now, unless she's independently wealthy she'll need to support herself for another thirty years or so. You and your other friends might start pinging your personal and professional networks to find some hiring manager who won't shitcan her resume immediately when he sees those magic words "drug dealer" - the typical manager won't care if there's an "ex-" in front of "drug dealer" or not. And she'll have to live somewhere. No rental agent I've heard of would touch her, because of the fear of recidivism. Throwing some weird do like a baby shower, with you tossing an ex-fuck buddy her way, may impress her with just how badly she needs more serious friends.
(signed)
big dirigible
who some day will be smart enough to stay out of the Women's Issues forum
My feeling is you might have only read the initial post and not read the follow-up discussion. Because clearly I am not treating her problems "cavalierly", nor am I trying to decide what she needs. Nor am I placing sex at the top of her list of needs. I had a thought of setting her up with a hot guy who could give her a great time in bed if she wanted. I'm not forcing anyone's clothes off, and I'm not pushing them into the bedroom and locking the door.
And, most importantly, I would never, ever set her up without running the idea by her first. So ultimately all this discussion might be moot, because she will be the one to tell me what she wants or needs. I'm going to visit her next weekend. I'm going to tell her we're ready to welcome her back, and I'm going to ask her what she wants her first few days back to be like. Then somewhere along the way I'll tell her I have a friendly, hot guy who knows how to work it, and if she'd like to meet him and see where it leads I could set it up. Where any of it goes from there is up to her, because there's no way I can possibly know what it's like to be in her shoes, no matter how hard I try.
And, most importantly, I would never, ever set her up without running the idea by her first. So ultimately all this discussion might be moot, because she will be the one to tell me what she wants or needs. I'm going to visit her next weekend. I'm going to tell her we're ready to welcome her back, and I'm going to ask her what she wants her first few days back to be like. Then somewhere along the way I'll tell her I have a friendly, hot guy who knows how to work it, and if she'd like to meet him and see where it leads I could set it up. Where any of it goes from there is up to her, because there's no way I can possibly know what it's like to be in her shoes, no matter how hard I try.
I've been thinking about this and I want to say something. Obviously getting laid is not the biggest of her problems. I'm sure getting back on her feet will be tough, even though she has a pretty good support system (friends, parents, sister). Most of her problems I can't help her with. The social part I think I can. When 2 girlfriends and I were sitting around talking about what we should do to help her out, the first thing that came up was we agreed to have a get-together the first few nights. We also said we'll try to get together and socialize more regularly than normal, because we want her to feel like she has a community. After that the issue of sex and guys came up. I thought that it might help her feel back in the swing of things to get a night out with a friendly, safe, good-looking guy who can show her a good time, and if she wants, could help her thoroughly satisfy any 2-year ache she might have. So my point is of course she has bigger issues that I can't help her much with. We were trying to figure out what we could help with, and me being a social animal, I thought of the social angle, and the sexual. I also have the benefit of knowing her, and knowing that she's always been a bit of a lusty, spontaneous gal. Of course I also have no idea what one feels when one goes through something like this. Anyway, I just wanted to explain some things. The way I wrote the original post may have made things seem more "cavalier" than they really are.
Fredneck1951
Legendary Member
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
Yeah, I was marvelling at how vanilla my friends seem by comparison! :biggrin1:
Well I have always been drawn to the misfits, as they tend to be more fun! But really, vanilla has it's upside, as I'm sure you realize.
ClaireTalon
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Thank you, Big Dirigible, for spoiling our fun here by bringing up the question of priorities. I think we all knew already that a lay is probably ranking low on that list, but if we always proceeded along priority lists, life would be pretty anti-fun, right?
So, on the original question. Tossing her into a room with the other guy, and quickly shutting and locking the door might be an interesting thing to do, I wonder what happens. But if you just go out with her, which I'm sure she'd like to do after two years, and meet your stud, see how them get along and so on, that really isn't against her agenda. Who says they're going to have sex anyways? It's not like you strip her nude and put her in bed with your stud. Maybe all the two of them will do is talking, and probably they'll postpone the sex. The choice is still with her, all you do is making her an offer [she (probably) can't refuse]. If I was in her place, I guess I'd love you for a welcome-back present like that.
So, on the original question. Tossing her into a room with the other guy, and quickly shutting and locking the door might be an interesting thing to do, I wonder what happens. But if you just go out with her, which I'm sure she'd like to do after two years, and meet your stud, see how them get along and so on, that really isn't against her agenda. Who says they're going to have sex anyways? It's not like you strip her nude and put her in bed with your stud. Maybe all the two of them will do is talking, and probably they'll postpone the sex. The choice is still with her, all you do is making her an offer [she (probably) can't refuse]. If I was in her place, I guess I'd love you for a welcome-back present like that.
Thank you, m'dear. And you know, perhaps the saddest thing about this whole situation is that as damaging as drugs can be, I don't think what she did (selling cocaine) should be a crime. I definitely don't think she deserved 2 years in jail (actually her sentence was 21 months, I've been rounding up). But that's another thread alltogether.
Lordpendragon
Experimental Member
What if she has discovered that she prefers women now - will you offer yourself up?
I am worried that my mind is working like horrible person's.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with giving her the option - I would need a bit of Dutch courage.
I am worried that my mind is working like horrible person's.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with giving her the option - I would need a bit of Dutch courage.
Sounds like a wonderful idea!
Get her a nice big guy to give her that wonderful sore but nice feeling, the morning after.
Get her a nice big guy to give her that wonderful sore but nice feeling, the morning after.
Two years with out physical or emotional contact with a man..... Are you prepared for the idea that she gets attatched to this man right away? Is he prepared that this might happen? A one night stand might not be so easy for her. Lots to think about and hopefully not assume. Good luck though! and good luck to her!
Rubenesque
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I'd be absolutely horrified if my friends tried to set me up for a shag - and would be even more horrified if it turned out it was with a guy one of my friends had already road tested lol.
You said she's attractive, so I would expect if she wants to get laid she can manage it without any interference from her 'friends'.
You said she's attractive, so I would expect if she wants to get laid she can manage it without any interference from her 'friends'.
ClaireTalon
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I can't tell for sure, but I think Stud_Hunter is smart enough not to act as open bawd in this situation and bring her g/f together with the stud of her choice, saying "Now fuck!". If I was in her place, and I think she's smart enough to think this without my help, I'd try to act as a catalyzer. Bring the g/f in place, bring the man in place, and then speed up what naturally would take a few more dates. Nothing bad about that, I think I'd even like the thought of being set up, especially with a "road tested" man. I don't like being set up usually, but this is exceptional.
