Okay, I just finished a date with my girl friend of a few years and I am a bit frustrated. She is 30 years old, hasn't had too many relationships, and is pretty shy and passive. What I am frustrated about is that we cannot seem to connect sexually. Let me describe our usual date: Either my place or her place, I cook regardless, we have some wine, snuggle on the couch usually watch tv. If anything happens, I have to be the one to initiate, and sometimes I get turned down, she never initiates. Lately I don't even have time to initiate since she is too tired and she "just wants to snuggle". I know these things have their ups and downs, but the underlying thing is sex does not seem to be much of a priority. She will never initiate, and when we do have sex (like once each month) I am lucky if she even touches me. On top of that I am lucky if I get oral sex twice a year, she gets it almost everytime we have sex. When I bring these issues up she says I need to be better at putting the moves on her. She SEEMS to enjoy sex when we have it. I make sure she orgasms before we even get to intercourse, but it seems like all the planets have to be in alignment before anything happens. Occasionally we will take a day off to spend together (I have partial custody of my son so I don't have lots of free time), when we take time off together usually we never end up in the sack. I would like nothing more than to spend the whole day making love to her. She tells me that once she is less stressed things will get better in the intimacy department, but it seems to be getting worse rather than getting better. Even when we take a weeks vacation to the carribean (which we do once each year), we only seem to be able to have sex a few times. She swears we do not have mismatched libidos, it's just that we miss-connect. This excuse would be more plausable if she touched me during sex or went down on me more often. In every other way we are very compatible and I am very attracted to her and I love her very much. It makes the frustration all the more difficult. This is becoming a make or break deal for me, but I keep holding out with the hopes that things will change, and if they do this would be the best relationship I ever had. If I press the issue I know we would have sex more often, but I am convinced she would just be doing it to appease me. This is just a bit of a rant, since this is our third date without sex, so I am frustrated at the moment. I don't know that things will turn around for us, so is it worth holding on to see if things turn around?