Sex act you wish you hadn't tried

[D_Ed69s girl]

Okay This is in response to another thread http://www.lpsg.org/93478-sexual-acts-you-havent-tried-2.html#post1579851

Std you wanted to know ones I have tried and wished I hadn't well here it goes.

Having sex in on a beach, it didn't pan out real well. We choose a rock that you had to climb up to get to the top and half way up I was to scared to go forward. man that kills a great sunset.

GOLDEN SHOWERS is that some kind of joke, I mean how the hell is that suppose to turn some one on. Trust me ladies having you man piss all over is so funny that you end up laughing. At least Ed and I did.

I believe it is called the pile driver. Were a gal stands on her head while being fucked. No thanks my neck and shoulders killed me for three days after that one.

I love being spanked but I did discover that wood paddles are for the fireplace. It doesn't turn me on, it only gives me a soar ass.

So there you are Std fantasies that I wish I never tried. Now I leave the thread open for anyone else you wishes to share there sex act disasters.

 

[robert617]

When I was in my late twenties, I wasn't too discriminating when it came to the sobriety of the woman I was with. This all changed when I was with a fairly petite woman who hadn't had much to drink, seemed quite coherent but turned out to be more sloshed than I realised. She was in a "tear off the clothes, jump your bones" mood which was fine by me. After getting rock hard she wanted to be on top because she said she didn't want me to hurt her. I didn't mind at all, as this was, and is, pretty common for me. She slid down the first couple of inches and then her foot slipped on the sheets. I was lucky not to have had my penis bent off to the side which hurts like hell, but she had taken more than she was ready for and immediately threw up on my chest and neck, just not quite reaching my face.
The lesson was learned about being a bit more careful when it comes to sex, women and booze. It worked out in the end as she was soooooo embarassed that she wanted to "make up" for the mishap several times over.

 

[eastbaydude]

You bet, there are a few tings that sounded like they'd be better than they turned out to be.

In the ocean. First, you have to work really hard get any thrusting going. No matter what shape you're in, you just can't do it. Also, there's salt and sand in the water. Both are abrasives. Abrasives hurt.

Airplane lavatory. It's totaly hot talking about it and setting it up. Once you're in there you realize how small, crowded and dirty it is. I'm not a germ freak, but it's nasty. On top of that, you've got to get out. After 10 minutes, I can assure you - this IS based on experience - there WILL be people waiting. There is no covert crawl back to your seat.

Golden Showers - Tired it in the shower. The immediate response... now what?

Prostitution - The chick was hot. The sex was OK. I felt awful afterwards. Totally guilty and totally dirty.

 

[D_Tyrone_Tittickler]

Just like Eastbaydude I tried it in the Gulf of Mexico. Thrusting becomes a nearly superhuman effort after a short while. I remember just as I was about to cum a wave crashed over our heads and I quickly forgot about sex because I was coughing and choking on salt water. It looked great on the movie screen but in reality a water bed is better.

 

[southerncock]

-doing it in a canoe, they tip over quiet easy
-the ocean is quite a terrible place to make love
-while trying to hump in the ocean getting stung by jelly fish

 

[sdg475]

Sex on a beach. What a sandy, gritty, irritating mess.

 

[Grindin]

I have no bad expiriences so far, but I'm not looking forward to having sex in a car. I'm tall and I have a truck with a small interior. I don't think it will be very fun.

 

[psidom]

wow sexual disaster stories can be hilarious,
my first was having anal sex with a girl who did not do an enema.
i experienced a VERY shitty experience.(no need to explain right?)

my second was fucking a european girl in her parents house
and getting drenched it menstrual blood...HEAVY flow.
she was embarresed and i was in shock.

the bdsm side of my life gets some really funny mishaps...
my first was having the tripod collapse whilst fucking,
this scared me more than it should have because i saw it happen in slow motion kind of...i was all the way in her puss and when i spun her
around to get her mouth her foot tapped one of the legs on the tripod
and it lost footing,all you can do is guide the fall,she was just laughing.

another is where i was flogging with 2 floggers "flourentine" and i hit
myself in the face with both of the floggers,pain is an excellent teacher.

i never give up though.

 

[eastbaydude]

There was one other....

My ex-girlfriend always had this thing for finding furniture that was the right height for fucking - something she could sit on that would allow me to stand up.

Long story short..... we were on the dresser at a hotel in Las Vegas. In a fit of passion, the mirror over the dresser gets knocked off the wall, breaks, and cuts her arm badly enough to need to go to the ER for stiches. Instead if finsihing, we got blood all over room, threw on clothes and called the front desk for an ambulance.

The only bit of good news, when we got back, the hotel had cleaned the room and arranged for us to be moved to a suite AND offered her $5000 for pain and suffering. Of course we didn't exaclty say how the mirror fell.

 

[ballsaplenty2156]

A little more than a year ago, I tried receiving anal sex for the very first time. I was really apprehensive about doing it but I wanted to experience something new and different. I had fucked a few dudes before and they seemed to really get off on it, and although the three girls I'd done anal with weren't quite as into it as the guys had been, I figured men enjoy the anal feeling more than women because of the prostate gland, and it should be a mind-blowing experience for me.
WRONG!!
It wasn't that it was so painful, truth be told it wasn't near as painful as I thought it might be. But I really wasn't prepared for the psychological, emotional fall-out. It just wasn't my thing at all. It wasn't unpleasurable, but it wasn't over the top nirvana for me either.
I felt very off kilter for a good while, emotionally. I don't know if anyone else has had that experience. The guy I agreed to let fuck me really enjoyed it. He only lasted a few minutes, five at most, and kept moaning how tight my ass was. He popped his nut so quick, I thought he was joking at first. But when I realized he was done, I felt like a fool for giving up my ass to anyone.
Another awful experience about two years ago in college, I hooked up with a guy and his g/f. I'd known him from soccer, and he was a real chill dude. We were hanging out in his dorm room on a Friday night, they were drinking beer and Wild Turkey. I don't drink alcohol, so I was getting bored and wanted to leave. Chris' g/f said I should loosen up and relax. I told her I was bored and Chris suggested we all get naked and fuck around.
I thought he was joking, but Adrianna quickly pulled off her sweatshirt and let her very nice titties out for a breather. I quickly became less bored!!
I'd always thought she was a hottie and Chris was definitely attractive to me, as well.
We all got naked on his bed, and Chris told me to eat her pussy. I dove right in, and I figured he'd be getting some head while I was parting her lips with my tongue.
Suddenly, I felt his warm, wet mouth close on my cock. I was stunned. I figured him to be totally straight. But he was all over my cock like white on rice. Adrianna was moaning and pushing her pussy against my lips so hard, I thought she was trying to swallow my head.
Chris kind of swung

 

[ballsaplenty2156]

his body around, so I could jerk his cock with my free hand. I started stroking away on his cock and playing with his big hairy balls. He spread his legs wider giving me unlimited access and didn't object when I grazed a finger or two around his asshole.
Adrianna began sucking on his toes, which were near her head and Chris started moaning.
He then whispered to me to put a finger in his asshole. I worked my thumb in and his cock started throbbing in my hand and leaking precum. I pushed my thumb in all the way and he clenched his butthole down on it so hard, I thought it was going to rip it off.
This went on for about 10 - 15 minutes and I wanted to fuck Adrianna, so I started to get disentangled and as I pulled out my thumb from his ass, I couldn't actually view my hand at that point as it was hidden somewhat by his legs and groin, I lifted my hand up into view and it looked as thought my thumb and part of my hand were covered in dark, thick chocolate. It was under my thumbnail and all over my thumb and ass juice was dripping down my wrist. The smell was abysmal to say the least.
I lost all interest in getting a nut and excused myself to use the washroom while they continued fucking. It took me the better part of 20 minutes to get the shit out from under my nail and off my skin. The stench was unbearable for me.
When I got out of the bathroom he had finished fucking her and asked if I wanted to get some. I was in no mood and could see shit stains all over the bed and covers. He had stains all over his thighs and butt as well.
It was a total turn-off for me.

 

[D_Amyntas Lillydong]

It is like the story from ballsaplenty2156 that I'm glad I'm staying celibate until I know someone real well. But I do have a story. Screwing an ex-girlfriend outdoors and being discovered. It didn't bother us, but we had to be respectful of the other peoples' feelings.

 

[B_Artful Dodger]

Fucking a european girl in her parents house
and getting drenched it menstrual blood...HEAVY flow.
she was embarresed and i was in shock.

uke:

 

[ballsaplenty2156]

LMAO!!! Dodger,
You always know the right thing to say.
BTW, your new photos are freakin' hot!!!:veryhappy:

 

[Rowan Ravenseed]

Eastbaydude: Can i just say as an ex sex worker....... you shouldn't feel dirty or guilty If you were one of my clients back when i was working...... I'd be doing anything i could to try and make you a regular!

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

It is like the story from ballsaplenty2156 that I'm glad I'm staying celibate until I know someone real well. But I do have a story. Screwing an ex-girlfriend outdoors and being discovered. It didn't bother us, but we had to be respectful of the other peoples' feelings.

More details please!!

 

[eastbaydude]

quote=Rowan Ravenseed;1666676]Eastbaydude: Can i just say as an ex sex worker....... you shouldn't feel dirty or guilty If you were one of my clients back when i was working...... I'd be doing anything i could to try and make you a regular![/quote]

Thanks. I'm not sure I'm ready to be a regular with anyone. But, mabe if my head was in a different place and the girl was in a better place, I might have been more able to deal with it.

At the time I was horny, alone, and had some cash and... well... Next thing I know, I'm out on the street negotiating with a girl a little down on her luck.

I paid her for her services and over-tipped her to get dinner or a cab-ride home. In a different situation, I would have been happy to date her but in this situation, it was just wrong. I once dated a dancer and it was very different.

Rowan, thanks for the offer, but I think I've sworn off the sex workers for - at least for a while.

 

[art]

...I'm not looking forward to having sex in a car. I'm tall and I have a truck with a small interior. I don't think it will be very fun.

Car sex is fun! You just have to find a quiet, deserted place, then decide how naked you want to get, and which seat you want to use (some cars have more room in the front). (I've been dressed everywhere from gf and I both buck naked to just unbuttoning my shirt & jeans and poking through the fly of my Jockeys.)

I'm 6', and have screwed in everything from a Corolla on up. You've just got to arrange yourselves.

And don't forget the condom!

 

[SCSea]

In the very early days of Internet chat (ie, the "chat" facility on a terminal to our uni's UNIX box), I got chatted by a guy from a nearby scientific company, and the chat quickly turned. . . prurient. He suggested I come down to his place, I said I would rather host (mistake 1). He came over, and was a hundred pounds heavier than marketed, and painfully geeky, but he was all over me, and I was horny. We had a couple of drinks and got nekkid. All pretty standard stuff.

As we're making out, he's moaning for me to slide a finger in his butt. After a few minutes, he wants another. After a few more, he wants another. . . and there's no struggle. . . they're sliding right in. I lost count of fingers, honestly, and once the thumb was in, he wanted it deeper. I had never even seen a picture of fisting at this point (here I am, 19, and I'd seen personals with "handball" and "fist" in them, so I had an idea", but I had NO IDEA that my relatively manly hands could go up a guy's ass with no trouble at all, and that they'd enjoy it and beg for more. It was so nasty and loose and sloppy that I completely lost my wood (for about a week, actually), and just could not wait for him to get off and get out. *sigh*

Ick. Never did it again, don't like to watch it, certainly won't participate. The minute that memory-erasing thing from _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_ comes out, I'm getting that evening removed.

 

[numberseven]

Similar to Psidom's tale, but in a dorm room with thin walls and an almost broken lock with an unpredictable roommate (who walked in), WHITE SHEETS on my bed, and her insistence that I let her take my sheets to bleach them. It was kinda funny then, and is completely hilarious now, especially when I remember that she wouldn't let me go down on her that day, :sly: