Sex Addiction?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Notaguru2, Dec 14, 2009.

  1. Notaguru2

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    So, I have a new love in my life. We started dating about 3 months ago. We seem to have everything going for us; emotionally, physically, personally - you name it. I came from a relationship where there wasn't much intimacy. However, I find that I am having sex with my new woman practically every night, and half the mornings before work.

    I didn't really analyze it before this week, but is it normal to have this much sex? She is 29 (I'm 39), and until she met me, she had never had orgams through penetration. Its not unusual for her to have 2-3, before I get mine.

    Can I chalk all of this up to new relationship energy? Or if this much sex is sustainable, does it amount to sex addiction? We're both VERY committed to each other.
     
  2. Jay1074

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    Addiction is always characterized as any compulsion committed in spite of negative consequences. What you're describing doesn't necessarily raise a red flag as far as addictions are concerned. Now if you're staying up too late every night because you can't stop having sex... and then the next morning you have to have it causing you to be late for work everyday, then you might want to start getting worried. If it's not disrupting other aspects of your home and professional life, keep having fun.

    The one thing I would caution is that this could lead to co-dependent behavior. You want to make extra sure your relationship isn't solely based on sexual compatability. Too many people make the mistake that the emotional foundation that needs to be there for a relationship to work is present because you enjoy having sex with each other. The emotions you feel during the sex can be mistaken for real love and a deep intimate connection. It doesn't mean it's there.
     
  3. dolfette

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    sounds normal to me...new relationship stuff.
     
  4. marriedasian

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    New puppy love... roll with it and see where it goes. She's probably trying to make up for lost time in regards to vaginal orgasms.
     
  5. thadjock

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    I'm pretty sure I could be clinically diagnosed as a "high functioning sex addict"

    so , i make it a point not to date psychologists.

    seriously though: finding the mate who can keep up with my drive has always been a challenge, but i may have found him, if i don't wear him out b4 new years .

    TO notaguru: my advise is go with it as long as it lasts, it sounds like the two of you have found something good, don't question it or worry about what happens 6 mos from now!
     
  6. Notaguru2

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    This has been informative; thanks :) I think I can thankfully say that from what I've read in responses, that I'm not suffering from any type of addiction. The morning sex doesn't make us late for work and our evening sex is more of a night cap when we head to bed to sleep.

    I'll assume its new energy and expect that it will moderate over time. Our relationship (that is to say, time we spend together, time with our kids, etc) always comes first. The sex is secondary; although its very frequent, orgasmic and the best I've ever experienced.

    It's good to know that addiction has 'negative' consequences per se, to help identify it.

    Thanks for your input.
     
  7. helgaleena

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    That much sex sounds like wonderful exercise!
     
  8. D_Methamphetamine Blowvein

    D_Methamphetamine Blowvein Account Disabled

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    Sounds like normal newness to me. It will wear off...trust me. Used to have a great sex life just like that...and now....once every 3 months if I'm lucky.
     
  9. thadjock

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    damn, that is so sad, u deserve better.

    if i'm sexually into somebody it doesnt' "wear off"

    its true that after 300x it's not "new" as in first time anymore, but it's still damn hot and i can't wait to do it again, but maybe i'm not the reference standard.
     
  10. D_Methamphetamine Blowvein

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    Yes...it is sad. It all depends on chemistry and love and what you have in common. And your commitment to keep things spiced up. Without those...your relationship will end up like mine. :)
     
  11. eyescream

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    Sounds a lot like the first relationship I had. We had sex every single day we met (we didn't live with each other).

    After several years I did start linking it to sex addiction because that's all we ever did.

    We didn't do anything else but sex.

    I think you have to consider a few things: when you think of her, what sort of things do you think about? Do you think of romance, do you think of having dinner, do you think of laughing in front of the television, do you think of going out to watch a movie with her?

    Or when you think of her, do you only ever think of sex?
     
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