Well, where to start? Im in a relationship with a woman, and our sex life is terrible. I mean really bad, not just mediocre at times. Now, I know my penis isnt that big, but her vagina is shallow and narrow. In order for us to have sex, I need to spend at least ten minutes kissing her and caressing her, then at least 15 minutes going down on her. Now, I know that isnt a big deal, but it is a must EVERY TIME in order to have sex, otherwise she isnt aroused or relaxed enough. I dont mind waxing the car every now and then, but waxing the car EVERY TIME before I drive it takes some of the fun out of things. When we do have sex, she is always holding her legs together to keep me from going all the way in, or putting her hand on my hips to stop me. When I am behind her, she tilts her hips at an angle to keep me from getting a strait shot in. She has never come from sex, and we both know that. So, its usually a matter of me getting an aerobic work out until she gets sore, or I get bored. Now, in spite of her vagina being small, and tearing from time to time, its not tight at all. I know that doesnt make sense, but its true. She is always sore from sex, and I have seen the tears in the opening, but I dont get much sensation at all. So in the end, I end up jerking off to finish anyway. On top of that, she hates giving head, and will only once a month or so and only if I am fresh out of the shower. When I go down on her, I can make her come, and she seems to enjoy that greatly. The favor is seldom returned. We are both in our early 20's, and have been seeing each other for years. This has been an issue the entire time, more than 4 years now. I have had sex with a few different women, more than enough to know what is out there. She has said that sex with smaller or average sized guys felt better for her. Ive tried to get her to tone her PC muscles to no avail. Ive talked to her about all of this, and my dissatisfaction openly, but it only leads to her crying and making me feel guilty. Im very polite and not aggressive in assigning blame or anything like that, but she is always very defensive. She could seemingly care less about sex with me. She hates to use lube, but we use toys somewhat frequently. I feel like the times that I have hurt her, have conditioned her to associate sex with me to pain. That delays her arousal, and possibly orgasm. Knowing she cant come, and that she is just worried about me hurting her, sucks the fun right out of it for me, so I cant come. Has anyone else experienced something like this in a relationship? Does anyone have any suggestions that might help remedy this? Am I way out of line for being unhappy? The lack of a decent sex life is causing me to be less tolerant of her. Im not getting what I want from the relationship, so Im not puting in my best effort in other areas. Should our completely incompatable sex organs be a deal breaker? Any help is appreciated.