I meant to add that I also have a few friends that got pregnant on the first intercourse after the birth. Who's thinking about birth control at that point? You can't really get pregnant that quickly can you? HELL YES YOU CAN!
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Betty, that isn't even touching on the reasons why a woman might have sex too soon. Sure some it could be she is impatient also and doesn't take the medical advice seriously because she "feels" better. My mom told me she had sex with my dad days after giving birth because he was used to getting sex every day and she felt like she was neglecting his needs otherwise.
Women can pressure themselves into pleasing another person, especially when they have been so busy with a new baby and know their man isn't getting intercourse that he wants. She might give into that internal pressure or be getting pressured by a horny man
If a man liked to be pegged by a big cock and he recently had invasive rectal/prostate surgery, would you peg him before the doctor gives the clearance? Because he's horny or you are? I wouldn't dream of it personally. I'd want him to be fully healed so I didn't hurt him or cause complications.
Women can pressure themselves into pleasing another person, especially when they have been so busy with a new baby and know their man isn't getting intercourse that he wants. She might give into that internal pressure or be getting pressured by a horny man
If a man liked to be pegged by a big cock and he recently had invasive rectal/prostate surgery, would you peg him before the doctor gives the clearance? Because he's horny or you are? I wouldn't dream of it personally. I'd want him to be fully healed so I didn't hurt him or cause complications.
OP, I hope you disregard the unhelpful post of one braggart and focus instead on the posts trying to help you. Please be patient with your wife. Although you may be equal in responsibility and equal in your parenting, it really isn't an equal experience as the physical/emotional changes she has gone through are huge and terribly difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced it to understand. Not due to any kind of insensitivity, but because there's simply nothing to compare it to.
I can't speak for your wife, but I can say that she isn't the only one. I had an episiotomy and found the aftermath incredibly painful for a long time afterwards. After 21 days, unlike the experience of the wife of the poster above, I was still at the point where I was often reduced to tears with the pain and would have to steel myself before sitting down or standing back up. So I avoided it and stood for long periods... Which after a while resulted in pain that managed to be both dull and sharp at the same time. I didn't dare open my legs more than 45 degrees for many months - it hurt too much. I also suffered from mastitis, I felt fat and gross, I didn't recognise my body at all and I felt so very tired. That's all without the toll of actually looking after a baby. I couldn't even contemplate sex for longer than six months, I just wasn't physically capable. I know women whose experiences were nowhere near as extreme, but as with your experience, I have always thought the episiotomy, or rather the way it was done, was a major part of the problem.
I can't speak for your wife, but I can say that she isn't the only one. I had an episiotomy and found the aftermath incredibly painful for a long time afterwards. After 21 days, unlike the experience of the wife of the poster above, I was still at the point where I was often reduced to tears with the pain and would have to steel myself before sitting down or standing back up. So I avoided it and stood for long periods... Which after a while resulted in pain that managed to be both dull and sharp at the same time. I didn't dare open my legs more than 45 degrees for many months - it hurt too much. I also suffered from mastitis, I felt fat and gross, I didn't recognise my body at all and I felt so very tired. That's all without the toll of actually looking after a baby. I couldn't even contemplate sex for longer than six months, I just wasn't physically capable. I know women whose experiences were nowhere near as extreme, but as with your experience, I have always thought the episiotomy, or rather the way it was done, was a major part of the problem.
Calimeetsga
Sexy Member
Tulip, since you're not expecting to have anymore kids, honestly an ablation Aldo called the Novasure procedure is probably the fastest safest bet anx recovery time is about a weekend of taking it easy then you'll only have light periods for life. My situation was messed up bc of my insurance changing and I couldn't go to the gym I'd been going to and trusted for years so I asked for a recommendation and the Gyn I went to didn't do the procedure or the preppy properly or he'd have seen that I'd already had endometrial tissue break through the wall of my uterus making my uterus muscle wall itself very thin and fragile so the procedure perforated through and within 12 hours I was hospitalized after being found bleeding out on my bathroom floor. Stays in the hospital on IV antibiotics for weeks before a great Gyn oncologist finally said it was safe enough to remove the uterus without store emus killing me. Had I been referred to a good Gyn in the first place, I'd never have had the complications I did. I've got tons of girlfriends who've had ablation done and no problems after just super light or non existent periods. Talk about Novasure with your dr if you don't want hormones. I had 4 kids myself too. I've had one friend only that had an imbedded iud but like me, several developed some problems after years of use. A lot to think about, so hugs and I hope whatever deco ion you make makes life easier and healthier Tulip!
Calimeetsga
Sexy Member
I've got tons of family members who are Dr's or nurses in nearly every specialty and a daughter who's a CNA and studying to be a nurse right now. The very first thing that's stressed to medical professionals is you NEVER self diagnose or diagnose family members.
Your wife should know this if she's a medical professional who works directly with patients. That's why I can ask opinions after I get a confirmed diagnosis from my own doctor, but my family would remind me to see my own nurse practitioner or doctor before doing anything so risky as having sex before a post natal exam.
Again...to ANY newly delivered mom, you're playing Russian Roulette with your health, life and later fertility by going by instinct and NOT going and getting an ok to have sex first. Just bc a VERY few handful of people are saying that they did fine immediately after, doesn't mean you will. Please know 99.9% of new moms absolutely should NOT engage in penetration sex till after consulting their OB or midwife when they have their post natal check up.
Any loving partner should be more concerned about the new mommy's health before anything else. Play with mutual masterbation or giving her a no-penetration orgasm if she asks or as TG suggested for a new dad, a fleshlight if dad needs an orgasm and your baby's mom is too tired or absorbed with the new baby till you get a professional OK that you won't hurt her unknowingly. Please, please for others reading this, take this advise seriously. All I wish is for all new mommies to be safe and keep as healthy as possible, nothing more.
Calimeetsga
Sexy Member
I'm the younger half of 11 months apart Irish twins bc of that happening. Lol! I knew better than to do ANYTHING before I was positive I was ok and couldn't get pregnant!
Ok, just an update here, I think we're making some progress!
Yesterday, after work, I stopped at a sex shop on the way home, and asked all about the lubes. I ended up getting a very slippery, silicone-based one with vitamin E, called "uber-lube." When I got home I told her about some of the advice you all have given me, and showed her the lube. I also told her about my plan with the "small" condoms, and she thought it was funny! However, I could tell that she also thought it just might work
The plan was to get our baby to sleep in the crib, and have a nice, slow session in the bedroom. We were both looking forward to it...
Of course things didn't go quite as planned, and it took forever to get baby to sleep (we both tried). Eventually, we decided that if we couldn't have our sex, then we should at least make sure he sleeps in the crib. That way at least next time would be easier. She stayed with him wide awake in his room, and I went to the bedroom to get some rest...
Just as I was dozing off, she burst into the room, and flicked the light on. Her face was beaming and she said "Guess what we can do!" I immediately woke up and answered "Sex?!" She said "hurry up! get the sex-towel!" with a grin.
I grabbed the vibe and the sex-towel from our sex-box, and got a condom out as she started going to town on herself. She had her first orgasm very quickly as I kissed her neck and rested my hand on her stomach. Then she said "where's your condom?" I showed her, as it wasn't the ones she normally sees me use. By this time my cock was big and thick, and raging hard. She watched me rip the package and get the condom out while she vibed herself on her way to her second orgasm.
I started to try and roll the condom over my throbbing cockhead, and it actually pinched a little bit. I had to concentrate on compressing my head to get the rubber to roll down over it. When I got it past the ridge, I looked up and she was watching me closely, her mouth hanging open as she got closer to cumming. I angled my dick up toward my body and very carefully started unrolling the rest of the rubber. She was watching me the whole time, and when I got it about halfway down, she came again!
She came so hard that second time; I realized that watching me struggle with my big dick was actually turning her on! I got the lube and squirted it all over my dick, and rubbed some on her pussy lips. I used my hand to spread the lube evenly over the length of my shaft, essentially jacking off in slow motion. I lined my dick up at the entrance to her pussy, and leaned over to kiss her some more, and make sure I could see her face. As I pushed in, it was clear that this lube was way better! It was so slippery that there was no 'sticking point' as there had been when we tried before. She smiled and kissed me when I got the head in. This got me excited and I pushed maybe another inch further, but this was too much for her and she gasped. She said "damnit, you're too big!"
I thought "what the hell?" and, not wanting to hurt her, I carefully pulled out and looked down. Sure enough, my dick was throbbing hard and almost as big as before! At this point I should mention that ever since we moved to the Bay Area two years ago, I've been using my morning and evening train rides to practice my kegel exercises, and I've really strengthened my PC muscles. This, coupled with our lack of intercourse for many months, meant that that condom was no match for my horny boner! My dick was so strong and hard that it was just stretching the rubber to whatever size it wanted.
We both had a little chuckle over this and, almost as a joke, I said "Well I'll just put another one on!" The second condom went on easier, and the extreme compression actually did the trick. Now I was able to slide in more easily and slowly move around inside her, although I couldn't hardly feel any friction.
Now, if you thought the rest of this post was weird, here's where it gets really strange...We ended up just talking about our day! I was basically just massaging the inside of her vagina with my dick, while we talked about work, our baby, something she read on Facebook, whatever, and kissing. At one point, my erection even subsided a little bit, but I pulled out and it sprung back to life. This sex was very different than what we're used to, but it was fun! It was also very erotic, but in more of a mental way than a physical way. We just kinda giggled with each other about how neat it was, and how proud we were of ourselves for not giving up.
She didn't cum while I was inside her, but eventually she was biting my ear and making her purring noises that she used to make. She asked me did I want to cum, and said "yes" I started contracting my PC muscles to have a "dry orgasm," which after going so slow for so long, felt amazing. After I came this way, she started "milking" my cock with her vagina, which she hadn't done since before the baby! This felt incredible, and sent me into multiple extended dry orgasms that left me quivering on top of her and completely exhausted.
PHEW!
Sorry for the long post, but I woke up this morning thinking about it, and it made me so horny again, I just had to write it down!
Take it easy, and thanks for the help!
~T
Yesterday, after work, I stopped at a sex shop on the way home, and asked all about the lubes. I ended up getting a very slippery, silicone-based one with vitamin E, called "uber-lube." When I got home I told her about some of the advice you all have given me, and showed her the lube. I also told her about my plan with the "small" condoms, and she thought it was funny! However, I could tell that she also thought it just might work
The plan was to get our baby to sleep in the crib, and have a nice, slow session in the bedroom. We were both looking forward to it...
Of course things didn't go quite as planned, and it took forever to get baby to sleep (we both tried). Eventually, we decided that if we couldn't have our sex, then we should at least make sure he sleeps in the crib. That way at least next time would be easier. She stayed with him wide awake in his room, and I went to the bedroom to get some rest...
Just as I was dozing off, she burst into the room, and flicked the light on. Her face was beaming and she said "Guess what we can do!" I immediately woke up and answered "Sex?!" She said "hurry up! get the sex-towel!" with a grin.
I grabbed the vibe and the sex-towel from our sex-box, and got a condom out as she started going to town on herself. She had her first orgasm very quickly as I kissed her neck and rested my hand on her stomach. Then she said "where's your condom?" I showed her, as it wasn't the ones she normally sees me use. By this time my cock was big and thick, and raging hard. She watched me rip the package and get the condom out while she vibed herself on her way to her second orgasm.
I started to try and roll the condom over my throbbing cockhead, and it actually pinched a little bit. I had to concentrate on compressing my head to get the rubber to roll down over it. When I got it past the ridge, I looked up and she was watching me closely, her mouth hanging open as she got closer to cumming. I angled my dick up toward my body and very carefully started unrolling the rest of the rubber. She was watching me the whole time, and when I got it about halfway down, she came again!
She came so hard that second time; I realized that watching me struggle with my big dick was actually turning her on! I got the lube and squirted it all over my dick, and rubbed some on her pussy lips. I used my hand to spread the lube evenly over the length of my shaft, essentially jacking off in slow motion. I lined my dick up at the entrance to her pussy, and leaned over to kiss her some more, and make sure I could see her face. As I pushed in, it was clear that this lube was way better! It was so slippery that there was no 'sticking point' as there had been when we tried before. She smiled and kissed me when I got the head in. This got me excited and I pushed maybe another inch further, but this was too much for her and she gasped. She said "damnit, you're too big!"
I thought "what the hell?" and, not wanting to hurt her, I carefully pulled out and looked down. Sure enough, my dick was throbbing hard and almost as big as before! At this point I should mention that ever since we moved to the Bay Area two years ago, I've been using my morning and evening train rides to practice my kegel exercises, and I've really strengthened my PC muscles. This, coupled with our lack of intercourse for many months, meant that that condom was no match for my horny boner! My dick was so strong and hard that it was just stretching the rubber to whatever size it wanted.
We both had a little chuckle over this and, almost as a joke, I said "Well I'll just put another one on!" The second condom went on easier, and the extreme compression actually did the trick. Now I was able to slide in more easily and slowly move around inside her, although I couldn't hardly feel any friction.
Now, if you thought the rest of this post was weird, here's where it gets really strange...We ended up just talking about our day! I was basically just massaging the inside of her vagina with my dick, while we talked about work, our baby, something she read on Facebook, whatever, and kissing. At one point, my erection even subsided a little bit, but I pulled out and it sprung back to life. This sex was very different than what we're used to, but it was fun! It was also very erotic, but in more of a mental way than a physical way. We just kinda giggled with each other about how neat it was, and how proud we were of ourselves for not giving up.
She didn't cum while I was inside her, but eventually she was biting my ear and making her purring noises that she used to make. She asked me did I want to cum, and said "yes" I started contracting my PC muscles to have a "dry orgasm," which after going so slow for so long, felt amazing. After I came this way, she started "milking" my cock with her vagina, which she hadn't done since before the baby! This felt incredible, and sent me into multiple extended dry orgasms that left me quivering on top of her and completely exhausted.
PHEW!
Sorry for the long post, but I woke up this morning thinking about it, and it made me so horny again, I just had to write it down!
Take it easy, and thanks for the help!
~T
Calimeetsga
Sexy Member
Ok, just an update here, I think we're making some progress!
Yesterday, after work, I stopped at a sex shop on the way home, and asked all about the lubes. I ended up getting a very slippery, silicone-based one with vitamin E, called "uber-lube." When I got home I told her about some of the advice you all have given me, and showed her the lube. I also told her about my plan with the "small" condoms, and she thought it was funny! However, I could tell that she also thought it just might work
The plan was to get our baby to sleep in the crib, and have a nice, slow session in the bedroom. We were both looking forward to it...
Of course things didn't go quite as planned, and it took forever to get baby to sleep (we both tried). Eventually, we decided that if we couldn't have our sex, then we should at least make sure he sleeps in the crib. That way at least next time would be easier. She stayed with him wide awake in his room, and I went to the bedroom to get some rest...
Just as I was dozing off, she burst into the room, and flicked the light on. Her face was beaming and she said "Guess what we can do!" I immediately woke up and answered "Sex?!" She said "hurry up! get the sex-towel!" with a grin.
I grabbed the vibe and the sex-towel from our sex-box, and got a condom out as she started going to town on herself. She had her first orgasm very quickly as I kissed her neck and rested my hand on her stomach. Then she said "where's your condom?" I showed her, as it wasn't the ones she normally sees me use. By this time my cock was big and thick, and raging hard. She watched me rip the package and get the condom out while she vibed herself on her way to her second orgasm.
I started to try and roll the condom over my throbbing cockhead, and it actually pinched a little bit. I had to concentrate on compressing my head to get the rubber to roll down over it. When I got it past the ridge, I looked up and she was watching me closely, her mouth hanging open as she got closer to cumming. I angled my dick up toward my body and very carefully started unrolling the rest of the rubber. She was watching me the whole time, and when I got it about halfway down, she came again!
She came so hard that second time; I realized that watching me struggle with my big dick was actually turning her on! I got the lube and squirted it all over my dick, and rubbed some on her pussy lips. I used my hand to spread the lube evenly over the length of my shaft, essentially jacking off in slow motion. I lined my dick up at the entrance to her pussy, and leaned over to kiss her some more, and make sure I could see her face. As I pushed in, it was clear that this lube was way better! It was so slippery that there was no 'sticking point' as there had been when we tried before. She smiled and kissed me when I got the head in. This got me excited and I pushed maybe another inch further, but this was too much for her and she gasped. She said "damnit, you're too big!"
I thought "what the hell?" and, not wanting to hurt her, I carefully pulled out and looked down. Sure enough, my dick was throbbing hard and almost as big as before! At this point I should mention that ever since we moved to the Bay Area two years ago, I've been using my morning and evening train rides to practice my kegel exercises, and I've really strengthened my PC muscles. This, coupled with our lack of intercourse for many months, meant that that condom was no match for my horny boner! My dick was so strong and hard that it was just stretching the rubber to whatever size it wanted.
We both had a little chuckle over this and, almost as a joke, I said "Well I'll just put another one on!" The second condom went on easier, and the extreme compression actually did the trick. Now I was able to slide in more easily and slowly move around inside her, although I couldn't hardly feel any friction.
Now, if you thought the rest of this post was weird, here's where it gets really strange...We ended up just talking about our day! I was basically just massaging the inside of her vagina with my dick, while we talked about work, our baby, something she read on Facebook, whatever, and kissing. At one point, my erection even subsided a little bit, but I pulled out and it sprung back to life. This sex was very different than what we're used to, but it was fun! It was also very erotic, but in more of a mental way than a physical way. We just kinda giggled with each other about how neat it was, and how proud we were of ourselves for not giving up.
She didn't cum while I was inside her, but eventually she was biting my ear and making her purring noises that she used to make. She asked me did I want to cum, and said "yes" I started contracting my PC muscles to have a "dry orgasm," which after going so slow for so long, felt amazing. After I came this way, she started "milking" my cock with her vagina, which she hadn't done since before the baby! This felt incredible, and sent me into multiple extended dry orgasms that left me quivering on top of her and completely exhausted.
PHEW!
Sorry for the long post, but I woke up this morning thinking about it, and it made me so horny again, I just had to write it down!
Take it easy, and thanks for the help!
~T
Stop the too tight condoms! They'll break as soon as you ejaculate. Keep up the massages and have her use that lube to gently stretch and massage her perineum where the stiches went. Seriously you might want to stop with the battery powered vibrator till she's able to tolerate penetration. Slow and steady stretches and softens tissues. Fast vibrations can firm them and you guys don't want firm in that area at all.
www.pinklube.com has a really great website that lists all their different products and ingredients they use with most being all natural and highly tested. Also helps that bc you go straight through them, pricrs are much cheaper than if you buy at a store. No other brand is this thorough either. All have the vitamin E in it everyone actually needs and can you get have an assortment variety of their products on sale for the first time in a cute travel bag that includes the toy cleaner and a heavy duty toy lubricant that won't damage silicone toys.
Their massaging lotion is heavenly and there's one that's extra healing for micro tears and anyone that has dryness from new mommies to ladies beginning to go through menopause or who anyone that has health problems or take medications that can cause severe vaginal dryness. I highly highly recommend at least getting the trial pack and it's on sale for a phenomenal price! Makes a great stocking stuffer and you can break up the set into smaller gifts if you already have your faves picked out. Just an FYI for everyone.
For our lovely men that stop by here, there's a link at the bottom of their page geared to males and male couples that's offering the same items just geared to men in product display and they too have the gift bag at a reduced holiday price! SOO worth it! Just look for the Gun Oil link. Hope this helps! Non-toxic, safe for the environment and only the ones with water of any kind contain a super safe preservative. (Bc anything water based can breed bacteria and no one wants that!)
Very glad that you and your wife are smiling again! : )
I honestly can't recall how long of a time span it was between when I had my child and when I had sex again. I think it was a decent span of time, though. Partly because I did have a minor amount of tearing that had I think 3 stitches, and partly because the person I was involved with at the time..... well, our relationship had been falling apart prior to my child being born. I would say probably 8 weeks or more though, given healing time and such.
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I recommend a small mini vibrator she can use on her clit while you enter her. That's the only way I get painless entry. It helps me to relax all of my muscles and distracts my vagina from the pain by the pleasure I am getting on my clit. Try it out.
Buy proper sized condoms or you will end up with Irish twins just like your mom did. lol
Buy proper sized condoms or you will end up with Irish twins just like your mom did. lol
