Sex after pregnancy

[splatter00]

So we just had a baby, (6 weeks ago) and its the most amazing thing ever. However my wife has been cleared for sex 2 weeks ago and we have tried but its still very sensitive and she isnt producing natural lubrication. We read that it may not come back until breast feeding is done (which will be a year). Shes feeling defeated because its been awhile since weve had sex, and we are a very passionate couple. Sure it sucks not being able to have sex but I don't let her know that. She brought up that maybe we should try lube, but im not sure if that could create issues with it being oil based and still fresh from deivery(water based seems to dry and get frictiony).
Thank you for the future suggestions advice!

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Silicone based.
And it will be different, the area has had trauma. Go slow. Maybe start with just oral.
Oxytocin causes a few things; bonding, uterine contractions, orgasms and milk let down.
Have towels.

 

[deleted924715]

^^^ Sounds like good advice. I honestly don't know, I was nowhere near ready at 6 weeks. At 6 weeks I didn't feel like I'd ever be ready again.

 

[EllieP]

Six weeks? That's pretty aggressive. It was like three months for me before I felt like it, and then I was the only one taking care of the baby, so I didn't feel like it much.

I love that phrase "trauma in the area." That is an understatement to be sure.

But you will have to be very, very gentle and slow with more lube than you think necessary. Do it with love and leave out the lust for now. It'll be back before you realize it.

And please, above all else, help her with the baby. I'm sure you do, but anything to make her feel the burden lighten a little will help her as well.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

My ex wife and I made it only 4weeks before we fucked again (we were told to wait 6)

My non professional opinion is that after 6 weeks any lube should be fine unless she has any breaches in the skin/tissue; and if that's the case, no sex. And of, course be slow and gentle. I agree with the oral suggestion too. And yeah, I hope you like milk. I did.

 

[Dirtymistress85]

Lube (silicon based) and lots of patience. I remember it hurt like hell the first weeks after we were allowed to fuck again. If it keeps hurting she should go see the doctor. I had some issues with that and he fixed them.

 

[splatter00]

Thank you everyone for your posts. After reading these comments she feels much better about being apprehensive to try. And yes, Im doing what I can to help out. Unfortunately I usually make the baby more fussy than anything, but taking care of everything else helps her focus efforts on growing our princess. Really appreciate your insight, and we will have to give the silicon based lube a try when shes wanting to try again. 3 months will be tough for me, lol. Nothing sexier than the mother of your child and your best friend.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

^^^ Sounds like good advice. I honestly don't know, I was nowhere near ready at 6 weeks. At 6 weeks I didn't feel like I'd ever be ready again.

True that! I tore despite an episiotomy, and still have scar tissue. Kiddo is 23. Years.
Four weeks would have been hell.

 

[deleted924715]

True that! I tore despite an episiotomy, and still have scar tissue. Kiddo is 23. Years.
Four weeks would have been hell.

I was the same, vaginal stitches are no fun. At all. It's a while ago now, but the birth could be described as traumatic and I'm pretty sure at 4 weeks I was still icing the whole area. I was definitely still bleeding. I started going to the gym at 3 months and couldn't even contemplate the hip adductor machine, I still had a strong but dull ache if I sat or stood for too long, or if my legs opened at an angle of more than 45 degrees. I don't enjoy the feeling around the perenium being stretched to this day... how much of that is psychological I don't know. Luckily if my partner felt deprived, he had the good sense to keep it to himself seeing how much discomfort I was in. It was a good few months before I was ready to try and I was terrified.

 

[deleted924715]

True that! I tore despite an episiotomy, and still have scar tissue. Kiddo is 23. Years.
Four weeks would have been hell.

I was the same, vaginal stitches are no fun. At all. It's a while ago now, but the birth could be described as traumatic and I'm pretty sure at 4 weeks I was still icing the whole area. I was definitely still bleeding. I started going to the gym at 3 months and couldn't even contemplate the hip adductor machine, I still had a strong but dull ache if I sat or stood for too long, or if my legs opened at an angle of more than 45 degrees. I don't enjoy the feeling around the perenium being stretched to this day... how much of that is psychological I don't know. Luckily if my partner felt deprived, he had the good sense to keep it to himself seeing how much discomfort I was in. It was a good few months before I was ready to try and I was terrified.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

The reason stretching the perenium still is bothersome is that it's riddled with scarring. Beyond stitch lines and tear lines, the bits of tissue stick together. As those bits stick longer, it thickens.
This is what "knots" in muscles start as.
It's why we stretch instinctively in the morning, to turn overnight fuzz back to smoother tissue.

As for scarring, the bit at the back end is so distinctive I joke that if I laying the wrong way, a dyslexic partner could get confused about where my cit was.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I have battled dryness since my hysterectomy 5 years ago but my hubs and I always required extra lube because of his size. We've tried probably 100 different kinds. I work in a sex toy shop and the best lube I think we carry is Wicked Creme. It says it's for male masturbating but it's the bomb. I have it by my bedside table. The description on the back of the bottle says "fortified nourishing cream that melts with body heat into a non-greasy liquid lube that has vitamin E". If you find the right lube it can make all the difference. Good luck!

 

[ronin001]

I have battled dryness since my hysterectomy 5 years ago but my hubs and I always required extra lube because of his size. We've tried probably 100 different kinds. I work in a sex toy shop and the best lube I think we carry is Wicked Creme. It says it's for male masturbating but it's the bomb. I have it by my bedside table. The description on the back of the bottle says "fortified nourishing cream that melts with body heat into a non-greasy liquid lube that has vitamin E". If you find the right lube it can make all the difference. Good luck!

Do you offer a LPSG member discount ??