Sex
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's
status, she consulted the family physician.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then
told her to arrange for the girl to be put on birth control and, until
then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying:
"Oh, Mom! You don't have to worry about that ... I'm dating Susan!"
Church
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you ... that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you , sir, but I'd rather you didn't use
profanity."
The man said, "Actually, I was so damned impressed with that sermon I
put five- thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
Pancakes
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health they were concerned about his rather small
penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed
him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large
stack of warm pancakes on a platter in the middle of the breakfast
table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "All for me?"
"Just take two ..." Brenda replied.
"The rest are for your father!"
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's
status, she consulted the family physician.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then
told her to arrange for the girl to be put on birth control and, until
then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying:
"Oh, Mom! You don't have to worry about that ... I'm dating Susan!"
Church
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you ... that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you , sir, but I'd rather you didn't use
profanity."
The man said, "Actually, I was so damned impressed with that sermon I
put five- thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
Pancakes
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health they were concerned about his rather small
penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed
him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large
stack of warm pancakes on a platter in the middle of the breakfast
table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "All for me?"
"Just take two ..." Brenda replied.
"The rest are for your father!"
