Sex drive- serious question

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by SR_Benjamin Spanklin, Sep 20, 2008.

  1. SR_Benjamin Spanklin

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    So i have a question for the ladies. Me and my girl had a talk last night about her lack of a sex drive. I have an insanely large sex drive and can fuck for hours, whereas she doesn't have a large sex drive and only really "gets in the mood" once or twice a month. When we do have sex its really amazing...for both of us. She's says she wishes she could do it more (we have the same kinks and everything). She says she's insanely attracted to me and she thinks i'm the sexiest thing on the planet to her, she just doesn't have a high sex drive.

    Is there anyway to compromise with that cause right now all i can do is masturbate and honestly i feel like my package could be put to better use.
    Do any ladies have advice for this situation, cause i just feel frustrated and angry, not to mention i feel guilty for being such a horn dog.
     
  2. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    You are very mature for asking what to do instead of finding someone else who can keep up with you. My first guess would be to have her visit her GP and see if possibly she has a hormone imbalance.
     
  3. hannah29

    hannah29 New Member

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    Hmm.. ok, just an opinion, but - If I'm that insanely attracted to someone, I don't think I would be able to help myself. Admittedly there are times when you're just not in the mood, for whatever reason. She may not necessarily feel this way, but perhaps you could consider that she just isn't into you, as much as you are with her. This is just from my personal experience, as if I'm with someone I'm not really content with (emotionally), then I am more likely to avoid stuff physically - until it reaches a point where the relationship is called off. However, if I am seriously attracted towards a guy, I can't help but feel horny and want to get up to naughty stuff ;)
     
  4. Phil Ayesho

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    Women with low libido often respond well to Testosterone therapy.

    They apply a testosterone cream to their skin once a day and the result is a dramatic increase in sex drive.


    They also often report increases in ambition and assertiveness at work.



    There can be side effects...( not always) some very pleasant, like an enlarged clitoris ( which only makes everything easier)
    And some not so pleasant, like changes in vocal timbre or hair growth on the face or chest.


    Your girl can ask her doctor about testosterone treatment for low libido.
     
  5. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Yes ..I agree with Phil...she needs to get her hormone levels checked.
    I am guessing she is lacking testostrone.
    A GP should be able to perscribe the correct dosage for her to give the flagging libido a much needed kick in the pants.
    Please do not forget that many anti-depressants also kill off the libido so that is some thing to look into.
    For me I have always had a huge libido and my drive has never flagged, but I do feel sorry for those who suffer with the problem.
    I hope her GP can get to the bottom of her issue and it is as simple as hormones.
    All the best,
    Dragonfly.
     
  6. hannah29

    hannah29 New Member

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    I accept there may be the possibility of some medical disorder i.e. hormone imbalance, but I think underlying psychological factors are being overlooked here.

    Drugs are a quick fix, and are not necessarily a resolution to the problem.

    I think there is much more to be said for the emotional element which contributes towards a lack of libido, as relationship and psychological factors are usually dominant.

    Be supportive and understanding, talk things through with her :smile:
     
  7. PussyWellington

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    Are you insane?

    Why should she have to risk those side effects just to please the OP. If he's not satisfied, he should find someone else who can satisfy him better.

    I think it's extremely selfish to suggest that she see a doctor.

    I think the OP should be spending more time "warming-up" his girlfriend than posting on LPSG
     
  8. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    First of all, is she on any medications that could be affecting her? Has she always had a low sex drive?

    Birth control pills, for instance, have an awful effect on many women. I know when I was taking a combined pill, my sex drive was greatly lowered (not to mention the other side effects).

    If there's not a physical reason for it, could there be something psychological that you aren't aware of that gets in the way?

    Even though I'm not going to jump on the testosterone-treatment bandwagon (if bc pills are a nightmare, I can imagine that could be too), I don't think it's selfish at all to suggest seeing a doctor. There is a chance there is something wrong that could be easily fixed, to the benefit of you both.

    Would she be willing to be involved more often in sexual activities, if they didn't include actual intercourse, for your sake?

    Honestly, the only real answer is to talk to her about how you feel, and see where that leads. I have a female friend in the same situation, whose boyfriend just isn't interested in sex and never has been. She's gorgeous and no amount of "warming-up" makes a difference. They've been together over a decade with various solutions over time, but there's no easy answer if there's nothing actually "wrong" and the two of you want to have a mutually exclusive relationship . . it's going to involve compromise from one of you. She has one of the biggest toy collections I've seen, and has otherwise decided to just live with the lack of sex because she wants to be with him. Some people can do that, some can't. It doesn't make you an awful person if you can't.

    Whatever you do, though, make the decision together. If you are unsatisfied and can't find a compromise, it's better you are open and honest about it, than go behind her back for other options.
     
  9. Pink Peony

    Pink Peony New Member

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    interesting read.................what about when it happens to the men, when they go off sex have a low libido etc its not always down to low testosterone levels, some men switch off completely for no apparent reason

    is the female in the relationship to go & shag everything in sight or does she wait patiently getting more & more frustrated etc

    always 2 sides to very senario
     
  10. Jovial

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    If she's insanely attracted to you then she should want to have sex more often. Is she tired from working too much? Is she stressed out over something? Because those things can take away the desire. It could also be that sex is too much work for her for what she gets back. Would she refuse an hour long massage from you that didn't require any effort on her part? Most people wouldn't refuse sex if it didn't take any physical or mental effort on their part.
     
  11. gunnaknow

    gunnaknow New Member

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    Get her on the Orgasmic Diet, by Marrena Lindberg. The main key is high dose fish oil (important that it has atleast as much DHA as EPA, like cod liver oil), aswel as doing kegels with a device like the Gyneflex. The high dose fish oil even works for men aswel but it made my dick too sensitive to stimulation and made it too easy to cum. Great for women though. The kegels with a resistance device build up the vaginal muscles, dramatically improving the blood flow to the area, for increased arousal, aswel as making her much tighter.
     
    #11 gunnaknow, Sep 21, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2008
  12. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    My opinion is .......only wanting to have sex once or twice a month is a lower than normal sex drive.

    If she desires to have a stronger sex drive.....then she needs to be the one to go to the dr. and talk to her doctor about it. She can find out if she has a hormone imbalance......or if it is the birth control she is using.....or other medications that she is taking.

    In the mean time......if she wants you to be exclusive with her......she needs to help you out more often than once or twice a month......(that is my opinion......unless you and she are in agreement) What is wrong with hand jobs or oral. Even watching you get off masturbating might make both of you feel like you two are doing something together. What would it hurt to negotiate something with her like once a week (the minimum)?

    Too bad viagra for women hasn't come out yet.
     
  13. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I have a girlfriend who is a hot looking red head......and she can be insanely attracted to guys.......but she has no desire for the sex act.

    Not 100% sure why....... But I know she was abused sexually as a child by her father.......and she has never ever gotten any professional help.

    In her twenties she was very promiscuous .......and seemed to enjoy sex..... But in her thirties something happened. She lost all desire to have sex. She hasn't had sex in like 10 years..... And she is just as happy as can be. (Her husband wasn't too happy.....but she takes care of him weekly.....with hand jobs or blow jobs)
     
  14. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    When I have a problem getting it up for a girl or being aroused it usually means I am distracted by the ideas of having kids or by the idea that she's not hot enough for me or even by the idea that she doesn't believe in abortion
     
  15. hamz

    hamz Member

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    well me too have the same problem.u should ask her what she like best to turn her on and then try to resist having sex with her when she is in mood and one or two times u do this her urge will increase it worked for me may be for you.also friend please tell me how to post new thread here i am new and dont know this do tell me
     
  16. Phil Ayesho

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    I take the OP at his word when he says she wishes she had more of a sex drive.

    If a woman feels her sex drive is insufficient, then she has every right to seek medical care to address it.



    And, sorry... its her choice no matter what... If sex is important to him... and he is important to her... then maybe it would be the best thing for their relationship.

    I find your suggestion that he should kick a woman he loves to the curb because she isn't giving it up enough to be less than compassionate.

    How often are men castigated for tossing out a girl for such vapid reasons?

    Young men in particular bond with the woman they love thru physical contact.

    a happy and fulfilling sex life is important to a healthy relationship.

    The woman can decide for herself if she feels like taking a hormone treatment to possibly improve that aspect of her life.

    ( chances are- she is already taking a hormone treatment- the pill- for the exact same reason... so she can have a better sexual relationship without the specter of pregnancy.)

    Most women on testosterone therapy report that they would not give it up.
     
  17. whatireallywant

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    Yes, this was my reaction too. I don't see why she shouldn't seek treatment if she is dissatisfied with her sex drive. It's similar to when men would take Viagra.
     
  18. Principessa

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    Excellent advice! Desiring sex only once or twice a month is not normal.

    Whoa! He isn't being selfish. Her sex drive is way below normal. She has a problem and needs to seek treatment.

    I have yet to meet the man that could massage me for more than 8 minutes without sticking his dick somewhere.

    :wtf1: Condoms should take care of the pregnancy worry
    Not hot enough for you? Then why did you even speak to her let alone fuck her?
    You discuss views on abortion before sex?
    Sorry but you don't sound mature enough to be having sex.
     
  19. gunnaknow

    gunnaknow New Member

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    I highly doubt that I'll get any thanks for my efforts but here's the whole Orgasmic Diet below, unspellchecked. If you ever want to buy the book containing the diet for a friend or loved one, it is called The Orgasmic Diet, by Marrena Lindberg. I know her from another forum but I discovered some of the findings about fish oil and libido enhancement for myself, before I met her. She too discovered this diet by accident, when taking high dose fish oil and other supplements and foods. She then decided to research the matter in much more depth. Here it is, slightly edited by myself.

    It's important to note that I have found through my own experience that my libido was only enhanced when the level of DHA was atleast as high as the level of EPA, in the fish oil. You'll see the levels of each listed on the back of the label. Generally, most fish oils are higher in EPA than DHA and would therefore require the addition of some DHA capsules.

    Cod liver oil is naturally higher in DHA than EPA so that's the easiest option, although the levels of vitamin A and D in cod liver oil are usually too high to take in the large doses required for libido enhancement. Two exceptions would be the cod liver oil made by Nordic Naturals and Carlsons, which have reduced levels of vitamin A and D, aswel as being high quality oils with no fishy taste. The're also available in the bottled, liquid form, for better value for money.

    Gunna
     
    #19 gunnaknow, Sep 22, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2008
  20. Pitbull

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    Could I give you a massage? :rolleyes:
     
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