sex drives

[missbec]

Although men are renowned for their high sex drive, women, i find are the perpetrators of that high drive. In some cases women's drives are much higher than of her partners.

Questions put fourth: is your sex drive higher than your partners? (male or female, it does not matter)

also an interesting one, have you cheated on a partner yet felt no remorse? Strange question you say? i guess it is
-bec

 

[missbec]

very promising

 

[DC_DEEP]

I think my sex drive is probably significantly higher than my partner's, but we both have very healthy sex drives. Several times a week is good for him; daily, or even sometimes several times daily, is better for me. We have a fairly open relationship, though, so for us, cheating would be sneaking around to be with someone else. We just don't do that. Most often, if there is a third person involved, we share. Otherwise, I just do a lot of DIY sex.

 

[Gisella]

Questions put fourth: is your sex drive higher than your partners? (male or female, it does not matter)

also an interesting one, have you cheated on a partner yet felt no remorse? Strange question you say? i guess it is
-bec

Yes, i do think i have a high sex drive..

Yes, had experienced that was higher mostly with my sex partner of just 3years ...in relationships of months or couple of years u may 'still' in honeymoon banging to know for sure..

No, even in a sexless 2y relationship with partner above i did not...and for this reason i do and will take my time to get to know if my partner sex drives is compatible to mine plus of course other important compatibilities too...never ever want to stay in that "hell" situation again...

 

[yhtang]

I can't help but wonder at which point a person who has a "high sex drive" turns to "sex maniac"?

 

[Ethyl]

Interesting question. Never categorized my sex drive until I listened to my girlfriends talk about their experiences. One of my married friends complains about her husband constantly wanting sex and at the most inappropriate moments. The first time she mentioned it, I didn't understand the problem (sex all the time is a bad thing?) After several talks, i've concluded she has a low sex drive. My ex told me he'd never met anyone who matched his sex drive as I did. If men have a higher sex drive than women (generally speaking), then I suppose my motor runs high.

As for the cheating question, no. My conscience won't let me do it.

 

[ClaireTalon]

I've once heard a guy complain, "Why do you women always have more hunger than we can give you?" He wasn't in bad shape, and not bad in bed either, but it appears to be a common observation among men that women's sex drive is often a bit higher than their own.

I don't think a good appetite for sex is bad. But then, I'm single and free to choose "at will" someone to satisfy the needs. I see in a relationship a big gap between the sex drive levels can be a stress factor. Besides rousing feelings of inadequacy with the men, it can also feed the flames of jealousy, and suspicions of cheating. So, Gisella got it quite right, checking out that the sex drives are roughly even levelled with both. However, we should keep in mind, that the sex drive is no constant dimension, it will alter through the years, and couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other during the early times of their relationship might find their appetite for each other cooling with the years, or will go through "high" and "low" phases.

 

[joystick]

Mine is much higher than my wife's. She could go for a month or two. For me at least 2 to 3 times a week. And some times 2 to 3 times a day. When we do have sex, its great. :redface:

 

[B_big dirigible]

Yes indeed, in the last long-termer she wanted it all the time. The fact that I'd crawl through the next day, totally burned out, didn't seem to factor into it. It got annoying.

 

[Gisella]

I've once heard a guy complain, "Why do you women always have more hunger than we can give you?" He wasn't in bad shape, and not bad in bed either, but it appears to be a common observation among men that women's sex drive is often a bit higher than their own.

I don't think a good appetite for sex is bad. But then, I'm single and free to choose "at will" someone to satisfy the needs. I see in a relationship a big gap between the sex drive levels can be a stress factor. Besides rousing feelings of inadequacy with the men, it can also feed the flames of jealousy, and suspicions of cheating. So, Gisella got it quite right, checking out that the sex drives are roughly even levelled with both. However, we should keep in mind, that the sex drive is no constant dimension, it will alter through the years, and couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other during the early times of their relationship might find their appetite for each other cooling with the years, or will go through "high" and "low" phases.

For sure Claire...there are fases.

In my situation we were young..he was supose to want a lot like me...:tongue: but some men get distracted by their jobs and making money and stress may distract them...its very frustrating sooooooo very much that i'm very afraid to have a man that is affected in his sex drive by whatever...i'm very afraid..i confess.

For now im still in my highs but for sure with age and hormonal changes due to menopuse and whatever i will cool down ??? hope not so much...hope not...

 

[ClaireTalon]

For sure Claire...there are fases.

In my situation we were young..he was supose to want a lot like me...:tongue: but some men get distracted by their jobs and making money and stress may distract them...its very frustrating sooooooo very much that i'm very afraid to have a man that is affected in his sex drive by whatever...i'm very afraid..i confess.

For now im still in my highs but for sure with age and hormonal changes due to menopuse and whatever i will cool down ??? hope not so much...hope not...

Don't be afraid, honey! I'm 43 now, and I can tell you your hunger for sex will soar before it declines! When I was in my early 20s, I had also thought that I'd not have much sex anymore when I would be in my 40s, but if I re-check that now: I'm having the best sex of my life meanwhile. It's a stage when experience, and a youthful attitude mingle and form the perfect form of sexual feelings. Ask Mme Zora, Stud_Hunter, or any of the other ladies on here.

 

[mellowmal]

I'm not in a relationship right now, but in the past I've found that my sex drive can be pretty directly related to my level of trust in my partner. Catch him lying? I just don't want him in me. It doesn't take long to want orgasms again, but as far as caring about his sex drive after that? Not so much! I'll handle mine myself from then on out.

In my second marriage, he didn't want sex very often, and I did. (He got queasy looking at his own semen. Oy.) It was a problem but there were so many other problems in that relationship... It ended when he tried to throw me out a window. That sort of overshadowed the sexual differences thing.

I am finding that as I get older, my sex drive has gotten much stronger, and I crave sex a lot more, even without someone in my life doing the honors. I am looking forward to meeting someone I can actually share that part of life with again! :tongue:

And as far as the cheating goes? I'm a recovering Catholic - I can feel guilty even doing things within a steady, committed relationship. Seriously, though, if I felt the need to wander that much, I'd have to talk to my partner about it long before actually doing anything with anyone else. I know I like a lot of variety and surprise in sex, and it may be that my partner and I can break out of whatever rut we've fallen into and maintain the relationship. I've been cheated on, and it didn't feel good. I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way over my doings.

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

I think that usually women has higher sex drive than men.

My gf and i have the same drive, although one day i am hornier than her, and the other vice versa.

Regarding the other question, i have never cheated on a partner, but, when i was single, i "helped" a girl to cheat on her bf :smile: .

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

I can't help but wonder at which point a person who has a "high sex drive" turns to "sex maniac"?

When the person absolutly cannot talk about anything except sex.

I know a girl like that, she is really pretty dull company...

 

[Love-it]

My wifes sex drive is pretty low, she says that she just doesn't get horny like I do. I know that we have gone more than a year without intercourse, because sex hurt her, sometimes oral sex during those times was maybe once or twice a month. After menopause she was more interested in oral sex. Now that we have determined that my above average girth is the problem, she likes the fact that she is normal and I am the freak, she is working on dilating so that, we hope, she will be able to take me comfortably.

She says her definition of nice sex is it not hurting. Hopefully we can improve her expectations.

My wife cheated on me a long time ago, I don't think she has any remorse because it was a learning experience, sorting life out kind of thing for her, she has been faithful since that time. It took quite awhile for her to sort herself out, it took me a lot longer to move beyond it and it still comes to mind now and then. I have never cheated on her.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Reading the responses here, it brings up an interesting side-note question: if women, in general, have a higher sex drive (especially in the 30 to 45 age range) anyone ever wonder why for the last several centuries, we've all been socialized to think that men had uncontrollable sex drives, and women only had sex to satisfy or procreate, but didn't enjoy it? Interesting dichotomy. The old "women aren't supposed to enjoy it" thing made marital relations sound almost rapish to me. I'm glad that's not the reality of things.

Love-it, has your wife been to visit an endocrinologist? Especially since you mention menopause, it sounds like a complete hormonal work-up could be just what you both need. The change in hormonal balance in a woman's body after menopause (and not just the sex hormones, either) can cause some of the problems you mention. Just a thought...

 

[missbec]

Thank you all on your insight.
I have a recent new lover, one of which im faithful too now, yet wasnt before but my conscience allowed it.
Yet i am still paranoid of other women around him, i think its more than fair if he wants to bed some other maiden that he tells me and we discuss it beforehand, i have had a long conversation with him about that and im all for it!
I guess to some it may not be a good idea, but to me, with that deal is good, oh did i mention i was the voyer/participant in those little escapades?
As for the sex drive of my lovers, its not as high as my expectations are unfortunately, he seems to make some "excuse" up while we're hot and heavy, the last one he made was before i had to leave for home 2 hours prior, something like "i dont want to start something that i cant finish" and that was that, we had two bloody hours, it was sufficient enough!
I also suspect he has other lovers, although i dont want to jump to any of my routine conclusions
-bec

hmm it seems i do not like him as much as id hoped, yet i adore him

 

[promaster695]

I have an extremely high sex drive, much higher than my current partners' sex drive. My previous two partners had a sex drive quite similar to mine, which led to quite a bit of awesome sex. In my opinion women probably have a higher sex drive than men, but they exert better control over it. I think it is very important to have a compatible sex drive in a relationship.

As for the cheating: did it once out of revenge, because she cheated on me. If I should now find myself in a similar position, I would not do it again.

 

[Love-it]

Love-it, has your wife been to visit an endocrinologist? Especially since you mention menopause, it sounds like a complete hormonal work-up could be just what you both need. The change in hormonal balance in a woman's body after menopause (and not just the sex hormones, either) can cause some of the problems you mention. Just a thought...

No, she has never been to an endocrinologist, we discussed it around the time that we discovered that my girth was the primary cause of her experiencing pain during intercourse. She is working on resolving that issue by stretching with dildo's of increasing diameters. The dilation program has improved her outlook but we have a long way to go. This was a problem before menopause and until she can comfortably take me, intercourse will be problematic.

Suggesting that she go to an endocrinologist at this point may be a good idea, but I don't know how she would handle it. I know that when she finally talked to her gynecologist about the size issue he did not bring hormones up beyond an estrogen cream, and she has great faith in him.

 

[B_Spladle]

Questions put fourth: is your sex drive higher than your partners? (male or female, it does not matter)

-bec

This is a difficult question to answer. A case could be made either way. On the one hand, at times I am definitely capable of way more sex than anyone else I have ever known intimately. On the other hand, I don't really seem to need sex the way some people do. I'm just fine wanking, tyvm, or even not.

also an interesting one, have you cheated on a partner yet felt no remorse? Strange question you say? i guess it is

No, I've never cheated on anyone.