Is it a sign of sexual liberation to be happy to have any one without necessarily the other two?
I often have sex without a relationship or emotion, its not rape or prostitution, its because I want sex and so does who ever it happens to be with.
I need that emotional connection to feel close to the person to be able to have good, open sex
Personally, I have found this to be a chicken and egg thing, and felt emotion after when there was none really before and felt less after when I felt there was more before. The act itself is a different type of emotion.
sex without emotion, that either rape or prostitution.
I think mabye this guy allways had feelings for you. Now was his chance to get together with you. It says something about him too. He was thinking about his heart and not his dick. Its up to you. Its your choice. He sounds like a real stand up guy...........:smile:Great Question. I wanted to start a silimar thread because of what happened to me just last night.
I've gone on several dates over the last 2 months with a man I've known for about 1.5 years. We were actually former co-workers. Yes, he wanted to date me even then but I do not date co-workers. Ever! I learned that lesson many, many years ago.
He cooked dinner for several people last night. I was one of several invited guests.
I got to meet his brother and sister in law and his roommate all for the first time. After his brother left, he said I'd gotten the thumbs up from both of them. His brother thought I was "hot" and his sister in law thought I was "sweet".
Later in the evening, we retire to his bedroom. Our clothes are half off. His tongue is all over my body. I mean the only area he did not lick, suck or kiss is below my knees.
I'm turned on and vibrating like a tuning fork. I am hot, turned on, flowing like a faucet and ready for much more.
All of a sudden he stops and wants to TALK. He wants to be more than a fuck buddy. He wants a relationship with me. He says he doesn't want to have sex unless he feels there is more of an "emotional connection" between us.
We talk and talk and talk. I'm trying all of my womanly wiles to get his mind back on sex. I'm deep kissing him, stroking his hair, giving him hungry looks, stroking his body and stroking his cock. It's all for naught.
I mean at the end I'm practically begging the guy to please fuck me. I did say "practically" but damn it was close enough.
I've never experienced anything like this before. He just would not have sex with me unless there was a possibility for more of a relationship.
I'm stumped, dumfounded and amazed. I honestly did not think guys did this.
To sum it up, no sex if no possibility of a relationship even though the emotional connection is already there he want's more of a connection. I don't know, maybe he's asking to become exclusive with me.
We even tried to define what a relationship meant to each of us. I think I've got many more hours of "talking" with him before I get any loving--if I ever do get any, that is.
Hugs and Kisses,
Karmen
Is it a sign of sexual liberation to be happy to have any one without necessarily the other two?
Passion, lust and general libido are not the emotions that I was thinking of. They can be directed to someone whom you don't know. I was thinking of the emotion that you would have to someone that you know. But I acknowledge that the lines are very blurry.
Isn't lust an emotion?
I've spent much time thinking about this over the course of the year due to the demise of my last "long-term" relationship. A few thoughts:
We often talk about taking responsibility for our sexual pleasure and health. We also talk about taking responsibility for our part in relationships with others, romantic or not. Seldom do I hear anyone talk about taking responsibility for their emotions. Unfortunately, we often use our emotions as an excuse to manipulate others and avoid dealing with our insecurities. Throughout the course of time, it's been drilled in us that we have absolutely no control over our emotions. Unless you suffer from an emotional disorder, that's not true, or it doesn't have to be. Is it easy to be swept up in emotion and let it influence your decisions? You bet. I'm guilty. But I realized some time ago i'm solely responsible for my emotional health. Me, myself and I.
I feel more liberated now than ever because i've learned that if I make a firm decision about something, then the emotions often follow that decision rather than vice versa. I don't think being liberated means stuffing your emotions down inside or pretending you don't have any. I see nothing wrong with recognizing an emotion for what it is and allowing yourself to experience it without labeling it "love". I know I sound very unromantic, which is ironic, i've always thought of myself as one. For centuries, literature and poetry have woven their magic spell and taught us that sometimes falling in love just happens, something i've experienced myself. But in the end, loving someone is a decision we make. We decide with whom we will have sex. We should also learn to decide what to do about our feelings for others for if we don't, they will overwhelm us.
Having exhaustively said all that, none of this means anything unless you know yourself very well. I came to these conclusions because of my understanding of who I am. My emotional life is very rich and absorbing at times and I can easily be swept up by emotion. Knowing that about myself, i'm more able to experience emotions for what they really are, not what I or anyone else wants them to be.