Sex, emotions and relationships.

Ethyl

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I don't think I've ever had sex unaccompanied by some kind of emotion (other than lust/desire, which for me, like Gisella, are so powerful that they do tend to overshadow all other feelings during the act itself).

The vast majority of the time, I had feelings of fondness and friendship for the person. I pretty much never had sex with anyone I wasn't fond of.
Me neither. Even if they look like Olivier Martinez, there needs to be something that draws me to them and if we don't get along, it's not going to work. I might make an exception for Olivier Martinez though...
Sometimes, I felt feelings of pride, because I had made a "conquest." (Shallow, but unfortunately true). :rolleyes:
I plead guilty as well. At the time I thought of it as a "guilty pleasure".
But really, it was never love, and still isn't most of the time (TM knows I love him, and sometimes we "make love," but for me, love is not a central theme of sex). He knows this, by the way, and accepts it about me.
For me, love can be intertwined with sex but it doesn't have to be. Again, that depends on whether or not i've made the decision to love that person.
For me, love and lust are always separate, never intertwined. I may be feeling both, but I don't confuse one with the other.
Isn't it interesting how we're always told that women can't have sex without love? It may be true for some women but I think other women have been led to believe that about themselves when it isn't necessarily so.
 

Lordpendragon

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Isn't it interesting how we're always told that women can't have sex without love? It may be true for some women but I think other women have been led to believe that about themselves when it isn't necessarily so.

This is/was exactly the point of the thread.

Given the right circumstances, my hunch is that nearly all women are capable of enjoying great sex without "love". Why not be able to separate the purely carnal from the rational?

Why are we told that this is the sole preserve of men? Are we that different?
 

Ethyl

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This is/was exactly the point of the thread.

Given the right circumstances, my hunch is that nearly all women are capable of enjoying great sex without "love". Why not be able to separate the purely carnal from the rational?

Why are we told that this is the sole preserve of men? Are we that different?

Good questions. There's a need for some to radically define the sexes in every way. It's not good enough that we're physically different, we must also exhibit differences in emotion. I'm sure much of it has to do with the past. Too many cultures to count created a woman's dependence on men for their well-being, so naturally we would be also be emotionally dependent on them. Labeling us "emotional creatures" keeps us mysterious and irrational. Men are the rational ones who can separate sex and love and what better excuse for having extramarital/outside relationships without guilt? Men who say "it didn't mean anything-honest!" about an affair probably think that women couldn't say the same about an affair because we supposedly don't know how to separate love and sex. Maybe before when we were completely dependent on them that would be true. Not anymore.

Men and women do show differences in the brain when it comes to emotions. But any differences have been oversimplified and interpreted to mean women are needy, clingy, and romanticize love and sex and men are able to box their emotions and set them aside whenever they want. It's not true and it's never been that simple. Jealousy is not gender specific. It can infect us all.