Sex in conversation with brother

[ausbloke]

Hi. Looking for advice in how to keep the conversation flowing when talking about sex with my brother.
I'm 28 in a homosexual relationship.
He's 32 in a heterosexual relationship.

Recently we have introduced sex into conversation. No specifics, just general mentions. I'd like to be more open with him as we've recently started being more open with each other.

We live interstate so text rather than talk. Need advice on what kind of questions/responses I should ask, without being too open and forthright, and without scaring him off with regard to my own homo sex stories.

Cheers.

 

[notN2pussy]

I fear starting this line of talk may be tough to get it going smoothly. I have a gay brother living near and a straight one many miles away, not much sex talk with either to be honest, I guess nobody has started that line with us yet. Good luck

 

[933295]

I think that talking about emotional intimacy with his and your partner is a great place to start. Some straight guys have a hard time with the specific sexual acts that gay guys do. Talking about anal sex can be confusing and almost threatening to some guys. Just my thought about it.

 

[someperson]

Hi. Looking for advice in how to keep the conversation flowing when talking about sex with my brother.
I'm 28 in a homosexual relationship.
He's 32 in a heterosexual relationship.

Recently we have introduced sex into conversation. No specifics, just general mentions. I'd like to be more open with him as we've recently started being more open with each other.

We live interstate so text rather than talk. Need advice on what kind of questions/responses I should ask, without being too open and forthright, and without scaring him off with regard to my own homo sex stories.

Cheers.

Used to with my brother but started early like late teens..
but still able to

beer or two would help relax then you can .. would open it up then it would be easier at a later time

I'm able to with my friend as well but he is straight like me though..

 

[keenobserver]

Hi. Looking for advice in how to keep the conversation flowing when talking about sex with my brother.
I'm 28 in a homosexual relationship.
He's 32 in a heterosexual relationship.

Recently we have introduced sex into conversation. No specifics, just general mentions. I'd like to be more open with him as we've recently started being more open with each other.

We live interstate so text rather than talk. Need advice on what kind of questions/responses I should ask, without being too open and forthright, and without scaring him off with regard to my own homo sex stories.

Cheers.

I'm not quite sure what the goal is here. It is good that you want to share your thoughts on intimacy with your brother. I am assuming you are close and mutually supportive, and have a history of confiding in each other. IF that assume is correct I'm not sure how specific you need to be, regarding details. Since your brother does not have sex with guys, talking about some aspect of the actual deed itself would seem to me to be a one sided conversation. The specifics can be a bridge to far.

My own brother is also straight. He has had a number of long term relationships that are always passionate and intense. I don't need to know the specifics of what they do - but I can tell when they are happy and when they are not. We have talked about issues - sometimes frictions within the relationship a few times about sexual problems - he wants something she doesn't like to do, or the other way around but through all that the specifics rarely come up.

From my end, he knows I screw around, he has met and been friendly with my long term ex - and he certainly knew what two gay men did in bed. I often sounded him out on a variety of things while in the relationship but I never needed to be sexually explicit or frame a conversation to be just about sex. To me, it would be like asking a cook at McDonalds questions about French cooking. The ballpark is completely different.

Is there something that needs to be said I'm not seeing? Would you have a similar conversation with a straight friend you were as close to as your brother? I would not - but maybe I'm missing something. My straight friends would not need or want to know too much about gay intimacy 99% of the time. If something came up I would hope they would just ask - I'm sure my brother would. He did ask me about anal many years ago because he really did not see the appeal, but that was a fairly short conversation.

I'm sorry if I'm missing the need for this, hopefully you can explain to me why this is important to you. I sincerely am curious. Thanks.

 

[hvdude]

I'm not quite sure what the goal is here. It is good that you want to share your thoughts on intimacy with your brother. I am assuming you are close and mutually supportive, and have a history of confiding in each other. IF that assume is correct I'm not sure how specific you need to be, regarding details. Since your brother does not have sex with guys, talking about some aspect of the actual deed itself would seem to me to be a one sided conversation. The specifics can be a bridge to far.

My own brother is also straight. He has had a number of long term relationships that are always passionate and intense. I don't need to know the specifics of what they do - but I can tell when they are happy and when they are not. We have talked about issues - sometimes frictions within the relationship a few times about sexual problems - he wants something she doesn't like to do, or the other way around but through all that the specifics rarely come up.

From my end, he knows I screw around, he has met and been friendly with my long term ex - and he certainly knew what two gay men did in bed. I often sounded him out on a variety of things while in the relationship but I never needed to be sexually explicit or frame a conversation to be just about sex. To me, it would be like asking a cook at McDonalds questions about French cooking. The ballpark is completely different.

Is there something that needs to be said I'm not seeing? Would you have a similar conversation with a straight friend you were as close to as your brother? I would not - but maybe I'm missing something. My straight friends would not need or want to know too much about gay intimacy 99% of the time. If something came up I would hope they would just ask - I'm sure my brother would. He did ask me about anal many years ago because he really did not see the appeal, but that was a fairly short conversation.

I'm sorry if I'm missing the need for this, hopefully you can explain to me why this is important to you. I sincerely am curious. Thanks.

What he said...

 

[KennF]

I join with @keenobserver and @hvdude. I am not sure what the goal is.

I think it is great that you and your brother are opening up and becoming confidantes. And if sexual discussion is part of it, like "OMG this guy I met had the tightest ass and he really knew how to use his muscles to get me off." and he's saying things like "I've never tried a girls butt. I wonder if she could do that. It sounds awesome." Then that's just guy talk and great.

But you seem to be asking what you should be saying and asking. So, I'm not sure how to respond to help you. Maybe part of your conversation is "Hey bro, I feel comfortable talking about sex but don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. If anything I say feels like I'm crossing a line, will you tell me? I really like that we can talk openly and it is great to have a friend in my brother."

Just a thought.

 

[ronin001]

I have one brother and I do not remember us ever having discussions about sex. I find that among my friends, unlike the movies, guys do not do a lot of talking outside of sports, video games if age appropriate, cars and if their spouses / Girlfriends are being pains in the ass or not.

I remember having entire conversations using only the words Yes, No, Frickin Dude, Awsum and Sweet 90% of the time. Trust me at your ages if he wanted to engage you in conversation about sex, he probably would have by now.

I wish you luck; but I follow the Old saying, if it is not broken ; do not try to fix it.

 

[888abba]

Hi. Looking for advice in how to keep the conversation flowing when talking about sex with my brother.
I'm 28 in a homosexual relationship.
He's 32 in a heterosexual relationship.

Recently we have introduced sex into conversation. No specifics, just general mentions. I'd like to be more open with him as we've recently started being more open with each other.

We live interstate so text rather than talk. Need advice on what kind of questions/responses I should ask, without being too open and forthright, and without scaring him off with regard to my own homo sex stories.

Cheers.

Since your brother is 32 and you are 28, I think it's kind of late in the game, to start having conversations about sex. Apparently you were shy about having talks with him when you were in your teens. That would be the age for the two of you to bond and understand each other.At this point in your lives, what's there to talk about the other other would be interested in hearing. You think your brother would to chat about you being a top or bottom? You think you would like to discuss the thrill of eating , Pussy? Forget the sex stories, just be glad to know that both of you are happy in your relationships.

 

[Brian S]

I don't have a brother but my partner does and all I've ever seen them exchange is off-color jokes. "That's what she said" kind of jokes. One might unintentionally say something open to double entendre, and the other might run with it a bit, but that's about it. I have no doubt that there are probably brothers out there that share more information with each other but it seems like something that you'd do early on. It seems once that foundation is laid, there won't be much deviation from that. I mean I think it's great if you and your brother want to share more, but I would be wary about being too blunt or sharing too many specific details.

 

[Zak Bull]

Hey dude. Not sure about the "late in the game" thing or not, your call. We all open up at different times.
I don't have a brother, but I've found with straight friends... a few are open to new info... some are kind of envious about the fairly open gay lifestyle... which can lead to more detail. Go slow.
With some dudes a good chance to open up is just mentioning watching porn... Or being a bit more honest about jacking off. Some guys are totally open about that, others way not. Don't know where you two are at with that... but it's a common thing straight or gay, so isn't too threatening. Some dudes like having a chance to be a bit more open and admit to jacking off... I think many of us would like to be a bit more open and honest about some personal stuff like that.
I like what a couple guys said about actually saying something... like... Hey bro, I don't wanna scare you off with these stories... good way to be respectfull, and get a bit of feedback about where he's at.
Cheers man. Good luck... let us know how it goes.