Sex in the 50s range

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by gimme_another_inch, Mar 16, 2011.

  1. gimme_another_inch

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    378
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Europe
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hello everybody, I would like to know from the women here about a question rumbling in my mind lately.
    My sexy partner is in the 50s range, to me she is the sexiest thing on heart, at the beginning of our relationship we were having a quite active sex life, I was not her first partner (quite many before me) and she was not my first one (not those many before her), we used to have great sex, both quality and quantity, long lasting session (I think they were long as am not an expert but I guess in the 30-40 minutes can be considered long compared to common statistics).
    We used to see each other not too often given living in distant places so it was normal that being the beginning and because of the distance the attraction was really really strong but then, with time, things mellowed down, especially on her side, still it's great, not that long any more, not that often at all but still a great experience.
    What I am worried is what it seems to be the lack of attraction towards sex from her side, I often worry she doesn't find me attractive any longer but she says it's not because of that, I worry because I love sex and I love it with her but she never takes the initiative herself and sometimes I got the feeling that when it was me to approach I was sort of refused and, as a consequence, I quit trying but I still find her so attractive in that department that I can't make any different than to suffer from this situation.
    Lately we have gone through lot of problems that probably affected this part of the couple life but, at least on my side, it never affected my libido, she also takes some medications that she says affect hers (even though I read the contraindication and they don't mention loss of libido neither by reading online experiences there are many who state suffering from this side effect) but I am just afraid that things will go worse and worse.
    It is true that in a couple life sex doesn't have such a big importance but I challenge any of you to state the contrary, sex does have its importance, I love it, I love it with her and I want to understand if I am too much into it (not my fault if I find her being so attractive) or if there is something wrong with me, I can't in a way accept it will go worse with time.
    Is it normal for a woman to loose interest with age? She used to be quite 'active' before me and also with me, what is it going on?
     
  2. blondbabygirl

    blondbabygirl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2011
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Oregon
    Women do slow down in time in that depertment when in a relationship. I don't think this is the case with the two of you though. I seriously think it's hormones. The same thing happened to my hubby and I. I had little to no libido because my thyroide was all but dead and we didn't know it for 12 years. My hubby almost left me several times thinking I didn't find him attractive anymore which wasn't true at alll. When I was diagnosed with thyroid problems and started taking pills for it, it took a year or so before I felt normal again and another year for my libido to go up.
    Yes medications can affect people differently no matter what the studies show. Especially if her hormones are off to begin with. Some meds can make the situation worse. I was on a medication for chronic pain that made me unable to orgasm. It took a year after not taking it for me to have small ones and four years until I could have the big ones again. Medications can do weird things to the female body and having hormonal issues can make it worse. You should really talk her into seeing a doctor and having her hormones checked. I bet she needs help with them.
     
  3. curious_angel

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,094
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    Verified:
    Photo
  4. Not_Punny

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2007
    Messages:
    5,542
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,204
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California
    Honest injun, check hormone levels.

    Also, check to see if you are as AFFECTIONATE as you were in the beginning. Flowers, handholding, romantic notes are MAJOR aphrodisiacs.

    Men tend to be affectionate and considerate in the beginning (and reap a woman's passionate response in return), and then tend to change to a more taking-for-granted and less considerate-treatment of their woman....

    ...And then panic when the sex isn't as frequent or full of sparks. :rolleyes:

    My advice is to take care of the physical AND emotional factors that could be at play here.

    (A) Physical: check hormone levels. Bioidentical hormone supplementation can extend her life AND libido with no dangerous side effects.

    (B) Emotional: Try treating her the SAME way that you did when you were first dating (if you want to have as much sex as you did when you were first dating).
     
  5. gimme_another_inch

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    378
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Europe
    Verified:
    Photo
    AFFECTIONATE!? I can't disclose too much, I wouldn't want to be recognized but I did try it all the possible ways...

    Very probably the problem is over in the sense that I don't have to worry about it/her anymore :-(
     
  6. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Oh my, that's sad. But hey, menopause takes a lot out of the sex life, in good ways and bad. Our bodies go all strange with the hot flashes and the night sweats and the periods getting all unpredictable. If you start bothering her for things she is currently confused about, she might just want to stay away until she is less conflicted.

    OTOH don't be surprised if she is suddenly back, having found that regular sex is just the remedy she was missing and the menopausal stuff is worse without you. But this is not guaranteed. Every woman has a different experience of 'the change'.

    In brief: give her some space and she may be back.
     
  7. gimme_another_inch

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    378
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Europe
    Verified:
    Photo
    I don't think I have to face this problem any longer :frown1: we probably are back on "single's" life

    thank all of you for your support, I still want to understand because even though it might be over it doesn't mean I don't care any longer, the "problem" affected the relationship and, as a chain, it took, along with other problems which were cause or caused by it, to this stage.

    am really really sad, thank again all of you for the support
     
Draft saved Draft deleted