sex in the woods

[D_Sal_Manilla]

Last time i had sex in the woods was about a year and half ago.

it was January, full moon with come cloudy skies. patches of snow covered the ground and we where just steps away form a river.

One of the few times i really remember with him.

I really liked having sex outdoors, in the wilderness.
As someone who enjoys nature this should come to no surprise and I'm actually looking for people near or around the Catskills mountains in NY for some outdoor fun.

what is the experience you shared with the open air??

 

[Mercurygirl]

I lost my virginity in the woods whilst camping. Ah, as I remember my perfume was OFF! and he brought like 50 condoms (he was quite the boy scout) and it was very sweet and it almost makes me tear up every time I think of it ... yeah it hurt like a motherfucker. But seriously, it's something I obviously will never forget so sex in the woods holds a special place in my heart. I've had sex in the wild on more than a few occasions since. I can dance to that woodland disco, good times.

 

[MickeyLee]

Lyme Disease and Masked Serial Killers.
are you mad?!?!

 

[LaFemme]

Sex in the woods in January in Canada? Lyme Disease & Masked Serial Killers are the least of your worries.... Holy frozen nutsack! Your balls would pull so far up into your body, you'd look like you had the world's tiniest set of tits! At least that's what they'd think when they find you in spring. And you'd be alone - let's hope there's not two people willing to frolic unclothed when it's 40 below!

 

[Hand_Solo]

Don't they make special zip-together parkas or somethin'?

 

[LaFemme]

Don't they make special zip-together parkas or somethin'?

You'd think, wouldn't you, but no. At most, we zip our sleeping bags together, but cuddling naked is usually done to conserve body heat and warm someone with frost bite. :biggrin1:

Ok, I'll cuddle naked anyway.

 

[Hand_Solo]

At least you don't have to wear a little wooden barrel of brandy around your neck. That'd be just plain weird. (But kinda hot for some strange reason)

 

[LaFemme]

Ok, if I ever have to "rescue" you in the woods, I'll wear a little brandy barrel* around my neck and save you from frostbite.

*rescuer reserves the right to substitute tiny airplane bottle of booze instead of barrel

 

[Hand_Solo]

*wanders off into snowy woods*

 

[LaFemme]

Geez, HandyS - you is turning into a full-time job! First the pine cone incident, now getting lost in the snowy woods! I'm going to have seriously consider tethering you to something.....but what? oh think, LF, think.......:tongue: In the meantime - I'll grab the booze, sleeping bags and some easily removable clothing - gotta make sure you're safe from frostbite!

 

[The Dragon]

Geez, HandyS - you is turning into a full-time job! First the pine cone incident, now getting lost in the snowy woods! I'm going to have seriously consider tethering you to something.....but what? oh think, LF, think.......:tongue: In the meantime - I'll grab the booze, sleeping bags and some easily removable clothing - gotta make sure you're safe from frostbite!

You need to wrap the lad in bubble wrap and duct tape and fit him with an EPIRB.

 

[LaFemme]

You need to wrap the lad in bubble wrap and duct tape and fit him with an EPIRB.

And while I have him taped up.....I'll need someone to play with....hmmmm....now who could that be.......:wink:

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

Lyme Disease and Masked Serial Killers.
are you mad?!?!

I know this is off topic, but while LF is tethering HS to the Dragon...

In my limited experience, not all serial killers are masked. So is it just the masked ones you need to keep an eye out for in Canadian woods? I bet they're incredibly polite. Canadians are.

 

[Hand_Solo]

Canadians are generally delightful. So civil...

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

Canadians are generally delightful. So civil...

True. I couldn't imagine one murdering you without at least politely enquiring about your day and asking whether your imminent demise would be convenient...

 

[The Dragon]

Hhahaha throwing it down in the scrub here might leave you with a trip to the hospital.

Between Red Back Spiders, Funnel Webs, Death Adders, Coastal Taipans, Eastern Brown Snakes, feral pigs, dingoes, cassowarys and salt water crocodiles near the waters edge, fucking in or on the car is the better option.

 

[erratic]

Sex in the woods in January in Canada? Lyme Disease & Masked Serial Killers are the least of your worries.... Holy frozen nutsack! Your balls would pull so far up into your body, you'd look like you had the world's tiniest set of tits! At least that's what they'd think when they find you in spring. And you'd be alone - let's hope there's not two people willing to frolic unclothed when it's 40 below!

With the possible exceptions of coastal BC and Ontario below Barrie, this is spot on.

It is unfortunate because, in the right season, Canada is absolutely the country to have sex in the woods. You want a quiet green retreat so you can fuck your brains out in the middle of nowhere? We got it. Millions of square kilometres of it. Seriously, reindeer moss was made to fuck on. Just avoid winter, most of autumn, early spring (with the possible exceptions of coastal BC and Ontario below Barrie), blackfly season, and mosquito season.

True. I couldn't imagine one murdering you without at least politely enquiring about your day and asking whether your imminent demise would be convenient...

In actual fact, s/he would apologise profusely for killing you - before, during, and after the murder. "Sorry" is the most-used word in Canada - excepté par Québec, où ils disent 'calice' tout le temps.

 

[LaFemme]

With the possible exceptions of coastal BC and Ontario below Barrie, this is spot on.

It is unfortunate because, in the right season, Canada is absolutely the country to have sex in the woods. You want a quiet green retreat so you can fuck your brains out in the middle of nowhere? We got it. Millions of square kilometres of it. Seriously, reindeer moss was made to fuck on. Just avoid winter, most of autumn, early spring (with the possible exceptions of coastal BC and Ontario below Barrie), blackfly season, and mosquito season.

In actual fact, s/he would apologise profusely for killing you - before, during, and after the murder. "Sorry" is the most-used word in Canada - excepté par Québec, où ils disent 'calice' tout le temps.

Isn't that the truth. Summer is beautiful.....and like a true Priairie girl I lost my viriginity, parked in a truck out in a wheatfield. A warm August night with a million stars all around.

As for our politeness, it is not exaggerated. I know I've apologized when someone has walked into me - my fault for standing in their way. And our serial killers? Quite likely to offer you a beverage of your choice before offing you. Except in Quebec. For some reason nothing applies in Quebec and everything happens a half hour later in Newfoundland! :biggrin1:

 

[MickeyLee]

Hhahaha throwing it down in the scrub here might leave you with a trip to the hospital.

Between Red Back Spiders, Funnel Webs, Death Adders, Coastal Taipans, Eastern Brown Snakes, feral pigs, dingoes, cassowarys and salt water crocodiles near the waters edge, fucking in or on the car is the better option.

yeah.. i have this theory that pretty much anything can kill you in Australia.

tourist picks up a teddybear. dies.
Aussie shakes his head sadly "that was a teddybear viper!! one drop of venom makes ya liver explode!!"

tourist picks up a glass of ice tea. dies.
Aussie shakes her head sadly "that was an iced tea jellyfish. one touch and your liver explodes!!"

pervy dude grabs aussie gal's rump. dies.
aussie shakes his head sadly.
tourist all wide eyes "ass scorpion?"
aussie guy grins "nah. aussie woman"

 

[The Dragon]

yeah.. i have this theory that pretty much anything can kill you in Australia.

tourist picks up a teddybear. dies.
Aussie shakes his head sadly "that was a teddybear viper!! one drop of venom makes ya liver explode!!"

tourist picks up a glass of ice tea. dies.
Aussie shakes her head sadly "that was an iced tea jellyfish. one touch and your liver explodes!!"

pervy dude grabs aussie gal's rump. dies.
aussie shakes his head sadly.
tourist all wide eyes "ass scorpion?"
aussie guy grins "nah. aussie woman"

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
If the wildlife, vegetation, landscape or weather don't get ya, the lady folk will! :firedevil: