Well, I know what your problem generally is. Your current attitude. You lack passion and enthusiasm for life. Whatever happened in your life has robbed you of your "espirit de coeur" (your spirit of the heart.). And you also lack the means of stepping outside of yourself to look at how others may perceive you. They may feel that you are a downer. And downers are emotional vampires. People tend to not want downers in their relationships.
THIS PIECE OF ADVICE IS FOR ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO FEELS A BIT DOWN ABOUT THEIR LIFE: You have a responsibility to regain, rebuild and maintain your passion and enthusiasm---BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. No one else is going to give you passion and enthusiasm. You have to get it and maintain it for yourself. And if you feel that life is getting you down. Remove those things that are causing you emotional drainage. Assess and cultivate. Metaphorically-- clean your house. Refurnish. Add on. Knock down.
You can have a sex life. You may not be able to have sex with everyone you want and see. I sure don't. I am not having sex with anybody. But I really do have a wonderful fantasy life that compensates for what I am lacking in the real world.
I agree that there are some really shitty movies, music and other entertainment diversions out there...but there are some really good movies, music, and etcetera out there. There is indeed beauty in the world. Look for it. Seek and you shall find.
Instead of focusing on what you can't have...focus on things that you can have. Be content. Also, be hopeful yet never expecting. You never know who may want to jump start your sex life...but you also have to keep your wits about you.
I was thinking this too. I'm often said to be depressed, yet I have a zest for life and like a great many things! As for movies/music/TV, I'll agree that most of what is on TV is not to my taste but there are a few shows I like. Besides, not being much on TV gets me out of the house more and actually DOING stuff! I rarely go to movies (more for financial reasons than that I don't like them - there are actually quite a few movies that I like), and music, I find that I usually like the indie music that is played on college radio better than most of what is played on commercial radio (although I do find myself liking some of what is on commercial radio too, just depends on the song). I also like active things like walking/hiking, playing volleyball (badly! :biggrin1
, and generally working out.
I was with you until the last sentence. I've been treated for depression and anxiety with various drugs off and on for the last 10 years. Most have worked to some degree. Years ago at the deepest darkest pit of my depression the thing that made me want to sing out loud, open the draperies, and walk in the sun was having mind blowing sex.
But they say exercise works better than all the antidepressant drugs.
I'm convinced the only people who say that are those who have never suffered from major depression. Some of us need the drugs to get off the sofa or out of bed. So telling me I will feel better if I just walk around the block, when I haven't showered in a week is pointless. I need the chemical stimulant (PILLS) to get the shower, brush my teeth, hair, put on clean clothes, and get out of the house.
Actually for me, exercise really DOES work better than antidepressant drugs (which only make me so sleepy that I'm unable to function - I mean, I can't even have a job if I'm taking them!
I will literally sleep 20 hours a day!) All the times I've had periods of depression, I've gotten out of it through exercise. I got through high school by dancing actively a lot (in private - I don't do dances with specific steps). I had a depression in my mid-twenties that I got out of by taking karate lessons. And in my early thirties I had one that I got out of by becoming a competitive speed walker. I've recently had one due to financial problems, and would like to exercise more but have found that the financial problems keep me from doing that! I don't really like exercising alone, although I do like to work out. I like going with a group or taking classes at the gym - or even just getting on the treadmill or rowing machine (I really like the rowing machine!) at the gym with people around - especially this one gym I had a free pass to last week that has all these TVs in the room where the treadmills, stairmasters, rowing machines, elliptical machines, etc. are, and one of them is the gym's own channel playing pump-you-up music the whole time! :smile: I really enjoyed that. The other problem is that the free groups I've found have people in them who are in WAAAAAY better shape than I am and for instance in the hiking groups they'd be a lot faster than me and leave me in the dust! (I'm out of shape these days due in part to some illnesses that I had, then having job/financial stress just after recovering from the illnesses!)
However, I do agree that antidepressants work for SOME people, and maybe they need them to get out there and do anything (exercise or anything else). We're all different. For me, exercise works better. For others, the antidepressants may work better.
As for the question... what would I do if I could never have sex again? It would really depend on whether I still had a libido or not. If I couldn't have sex again but also had no mental or physical libido, I probably wouldn't care all that much, and I'd just do other things. But if I couldn't have sex again and retained my current libido, I'd be miserable! I guess I'd just take matters into my own hands (with some help from things that go buzz in the night) if that happened!
