I have said that very thing many times. I said if I have to earn pussy then fuck it! I would get mad as hell! Just please ready the post I just made made right above this posting. It turned my marriage around. If I can help further don't hesitate to message me. I can relate to everything you have said. Best of luck to your and yours.
Sex life
- Thread starter CRAIGROBBO
- Start date
I have said that very thing many times. I said if I have to earn pussy then fuck it! I would get mad as hell! Just please ready the post I just made made right above this posting. It turned my marriage around. If I can help further don't hesitate to message me. I can relate to everything you have said. Best of luck to your and yours.
[QUOTE="I have found a direct correlation in how much I show her I love her to how much we fuck.
...
BOTTOM LINE MEN NEED TO BE FUCKED TO FEEL LOVED! [/QUOTE]
Thanks for a very inspiring message. I've been trying this with some success, but there is still such a huge gap. For her, love means a lot of different things, sex being a part of it, but not that big a thing. So I can show her love in lots of ways and she'll return that love in lots of ways, buying me things, remembering me in little ways, the things that mean a lot to her, but I'd be happiest being ignored in every other way as long as she shows her love sexually. I'm trying to understand better the things that are important to her and give them to her, but she doesn't really get just how important sex is to me. I'm not sure how to communicate just how important it is. It sounds like you managed that part well.
...
BOTTOM LINE MEN NEED TO BE FUCKED TO FEEL LOVED! [/QUOTE]
Thanks for a very inspiring message. I've been trying this with some success, but there is still such a huge gap. For her, love means a lot of different things, sex being a part of it, but not that big a thing. So I can show her love in lots of ways and she'll return that love in lots of ways, buying me things, remembering me in little ways, the things that mean a lot to her, but I'd be happiest being ignored in every other way as long as she shows her love sexually. I'm trying to understand better the things that are important to her and give them to her, but she doesn't really get just how important sex is to me. I'm not sure how to communicate just how important it is. It sounds like you managed that part well.
Thanks for a very inspiring message. I've been trying this with some success, but there is still such a huge gap. For her, love means a lot of different things, sex being a part of it, but not that big a thing. So I can show her love in lots of ways and she'll return that love in lots of ways, buying me things, remembering me in little ways, the things that mean a lot to her, but I'd be happiest being ignored in every other way as long as she shows her love sexually. I'm trying to understand better the things that are important to her and give them to her, but she doesn't really get just how important sex is to me. I'm not sure how to communicate just how important it is. It sounds like you managed that part well.[/QUOTE]
The way I finally got it across to her is by finding what teachers call "Teachable Moments", and then taking advantage of them by communicating and communicating and communicating. What I mean by teachable moment is when the two of you are talking you can tell when she is really listening and hearing what you are saying. I have done everything! Man
ke eye contact always when you are talking to her. Women obess about eye contact and most people do not think you are really listening unless you are making eye contact! I have cried while we were really talking and looking her in the eyes and I told her my sexual needs were not being met. And I have told her over and over that THE WAY MEN FEEL LOVED IS THROUGH THEIR DICK AND NOWHERE ELSE. I have told her at times it scared me and I would tell her how much I loved her and that I did not want her to feel like I was threatening her but I was only being honest about what I was feeling and I would tell her that I felt so lonely that at times I was afraid of how I was feeling in that I was afraid of how I was feeling because my sexual needs were not being met and that I was having all kinds of thoughts. From going out and becoming imtimate with someone else in a moment of weakness. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO TELL YOU WIFE OR SIGNICIANT OTHER THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE WOULD REACT TO YOU TELLING HER THIS FACT. The reason I told mine this was that I have been married to her for over thirty years and I knew I could share it with her. Some women would think you are threating them by going out and having an affair. That was not my thoughts but I was merely being honest with my feelings. And I did get to the point I was scared about the feelings I was having and I was not proud of those feelings but I really felt vulnerable to falling victim to any female that showed me attention and I knew if I did it could progress quickly to being intimate. But the biggest thing that turned my marriage around was my showing her my love and showing her how much I loved her. My wife loves to cook. And she thinks cooking for me is what I want and I had to tell her in a very loving way that I would rather have the time it takes her to cook, in bed fucking me! And that is all I ever crave from her that her love was food for me just like food was for her and that I HAD TO HAVE IT TO LIVE AND FUCNTION AS A MAN. God created man and woman for a reason other than to create. He created Eve to be a partner to Adam. He knew Adam would not be happy without Eve. He knew that fact! he knew that Adam needed sex! Another reason He created EVe! HE KNEW BOTH THERE LIVES WOULD BE MUCH MORE ENRICHED BY LOVING EACH OTHER INTIMATELY! He knew they would crave the sexual part of a relationship and He knew how much happier they would be if they met each others needs. I don't know if your religious or not. My wife and I both have been Christians since our early teens. I myself am very liberal because I was raised in a very strict home environment. We have raised two boys and thankfully they are out on their own now married and one of them has children of there own. Feel free to communicate with me at anytime if you would like. If I can help you in anyway please don't hesitate to send me a POST! Thanks for the compliment and BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS! IT CAN BE GREAT BECAUSE MY WIFE AND I ARE PROOF!
I think you might want to try taking charge and accept the mission of giving her the best fuck ever. Your relationship sounds really egalitarian but maybe that is not working in bed. Try gently taking the attitude she doesn't know what she wants but you are gonna give it to her. Might change things or be a disaster. Best I got.
Thanks again, I have read all the comments and taken them in but the thing is it all seems to keep coming back to the same things, I have to basically treat her like a godess in order to get anything back.
i am sorry but this is rubbish, all relationships are a 50 50 split why should anyone party have to do all the effort in hope the other party MIGHT start being nice back...
The thing is, yes there are things she wants different about me no relationship is 100% perfect so by all the logic here, i shoud not do anything she wants me to do until she treats me like a god, no?
i am sorry but this is rubbish, all relationships are a 50 50 split why should anyone party have to do all the effort in hope the other party MIGHT start being nice back...
The thing is, yes there are things she wants different about me no relationship is 100% perfect so by all the logic here, i shoud not do anything she wants me to do until she treats me like a god, no?
I am sorry @CRAIGROBBO, but you are locked in one train of thought.
From your locked perspective... think of it this way...
50% on you - You give her love and attention and fulfill her needs.
50% on her - She gives you love and attention and fulfills your needs.
The love and attention you give her - appreciate her and boost her ego and support her emotionally.
The love and attention she gives back - physical pleasure in bed.
You aren't doing YOUR 50%, so she's not emotionally interested in doing her 50%.
FYI - If your girlfriend were on the boards, she'd be getting advise to break up and leave you, because you aren't listening to her needs after 10+ years. Maybe, she's wasting her time with you.
One thought I've had through all of your wonderful words of advice Kenn is ... does culture influence his attitude?
I am thinking it does. I am not sure where he is from or what his cultural influences are. But seems to me to be a very male-dominant, female-subservient culture. If this is true... much of your advice is not sinking in simply because culturally he should be expected to get what he needs from his gf.
(But I totally agree that if she wants the commitment of a relationship to go further and he is hesitant to give her a ring or feels pushed into engagement or wedding... it's a failed relationship, whatever choice he makes.) @CRAIGROBBO ... you have to do more than just WANT to change some of these things... you have to be WILLING to work it out.
One point... this is important. You should NEVER treat a woman like a princess just so you can get fucked.
You should treat her like a princess... because you LOVE her and because YOU WANT her to know how much you love her. It's not always about buying stuff... as a matter of fact... that's just external.. it's that internal desire to show her in little ways that she is important to you. Never do it for the fuck... always do it for the LOVE...
And she should do the same for you.
Best advice I ever got: "Find a guy who will put your needs before his, and if you truly love him, you will always want to put his needs before yours." Sounds crazy but it's true.
This is not helpful! It's amazing to me you have the answer to everything by putting someone else down. How in the hell do you know so much about this mans business?
Kenn has attempted to help Craig all along giving him some sound advice of things to CONSIDER.
He's being honest with Craig because every attempt has been shot down.
I agree with the 50/50 statements. Craig is NOT doing his part because he feels like (in his words) "it is rubbish" ...
the male/female perspective is so skewed by Craig and Kenn has been trying to help him understand both sides of the coin.
If you can't be honest and direct with the person who is suppose to be your partner what the fuck is point of being in a relationship?
I think it does. I know that this is not an easy transition for him. I ma sure this thought pattern was taught to him every moment of every day. But that doesn't change the relationship he is in. The girlfriend is feeling unsatisfied, unfulfilled and unloved emotionally. Without those, I don't know any woman who will "want" to have sex. Regardless of the culture.
I am sorry you feel that way. However, I'm not putting him down. All I've said to him is, based on everything he's said, that he isn't doing his part in his relationship and that wanting his girlfriend to want sex with him isn't reasonable unless he's willing to love her back.
And, I have been chatting with him for more than a week already. I only know what he has shared on the boards here, which has been a lot.
Look at the notes. Read her desires. See what she's feeling.
Then couple that with his focus and his comments.
You can see the relationship.
> He is focused on getting sex and wanting her to 'want' to have sex.
>She is focused on a lot of other things. Most of which talk about her self-image and include her feeling distrusted and unloved. And she notes that after 10+ years she desires to be engaged and married, which reads "insecure in her relationship".
Ken (and all)
The OP has received some excellent consideration and feedback on this thread. Ken, your organization of his GF’s desires into Material things, Relationship things, and Self Image things reveals that she is searching for acceptance and security. What she needs most right now is a true best friend.
It would be great if posters on this thread were talking directly with the girlfriend. As it is, I fear current efforts are being wasted on either a troll poster, or someone with a personality disorder.
***
Based on past OP post:
-Poster is FromManchester, UK.
-Has an issue with the size of his dick
-And is looking for a transgender experience
The OP has received some excellent consideration and feedback on this thread. Ken, your organization of his GF’s desires into Material things, Relationship things, and Self Image things reveals that she is searching for acceptance and security. What she needs most right now is a true best friend.
It would be great if posters on this thread were talking directly with the girlfriend. As it is, I fear current efforts are being wasted on either a troll poster, or someone with a personality disorder.
***
Based on past OP post:
-Poster is FromManchester, UK.
-Has an issue with the size of his dick
-And is looking for a transgender experience
I feel this is going no where.
I'm not in any particular culture but it feels like the only advice I am getting is I must give everything my Mrs wants in order to get anything back.
No I am not self centered (far from it) just I see 50/50 split effort.
Now let's just flip the coin for a moment, if she wants something from me does this not mean then she should be loving to me, she should show her affection to me, she should bend over backwards? It feels the replies are very biased towards women.
If this post was written by a female I can gurantee it would be a different response !
I'm not in any particular culture but it feels like the only advice I am getting is I must give everything my Mrs wants in order to get anything back.
No I am not self centered (far from it) just I see 50/50 split effort.
Now let's just flip the coin for a moment, if she wants something from me does this not mean then she should be loving to me, she should show her affection to me, she should bend over backwards? It feels the replies are very biased towards women.
If this post was written by a female I can gurantee it would be a different response !
You are not listening.
This is NOT what you have been told. You don't have to give EVERYTHING! We aren't even talking about material things.
The answer to your question about flipping the coin? Yes, she should WANT to be loving to you and you should WANT to be loving to her. She should be happy doing things for you ... and you should be happy doing things for her.
There is NO double standard here.
You just are not listening. You are picking and chosing what you want to hear that supports your point of view. But you have been given some very sound, sage advice.
I have read all and taken it all in, however what I have been asked is a list from her then I have to wortk through the list giving her what she needs, I should start foreplay by doing the dishes and the rubbish.
No one here has asked for a list from me, no one has said maybe I'm not doing these things for a reason everyone just assumes I don't.
Similar threads
