Sex Once a Month...

[rob_just_rob]

I am 37. Sometimes... I see guys out... and I just want to fuck their asses out.

If he (the hubby) isn't satisfying the wifey, he is fucking someone else. Sex once a month?!!! That is fucked up. Why EVEN bother marrying if you don't get a weekly...daily...
nightly fuck on? This is reciprocal...not a one-sided thing.

It's interesting how some lifestyle preferences are tolerated here, and some are not.

 

[invisibleman]

I welcome your comment! He does work out, hasn't gained weight, and swears that he doesn't have low testosterone (he wakes up hard at 5AM every morning)....maybe he is a bit depressed because he feels as if he should be making more on the job (going through a bit of a financial bump now) and his boss treats him like crap (mental abuse...LOL)......I just hope it gets better...........

Stress can do it...but I know plenty of guys who have it bad at work...and (STILL) they can't wait to go home to their wives, GFs or BFs for some loving.

 

[psidom]

i would prefer 3 to 4 times a day.
i do not think that is unreasonable or dramatic
and i would want her to cum in my mouth from my mouth, twice in the sessions.

that would make me sleep well.:redface:

 

[invisibleman]

It's interesting how some lifestyle preferences are tolerated here, and some are not.

So, sex once a month is tolerable? Cheating is tolerable?

I feel that marriage can be a good thing. Some marry to have sex. That is a marital duty. If your partner is not doing the duty, should you wait once a month? Two months? Five months? Sex IS an indicator of relationship health. If you AREN'T having sex--you had better nip THAT right in the bud. It is better than cheating on the guy with someone else. Divorce him.

 

[rob_just_rob]

So, sex once a month is tolerable? Cheating is tolerable?

I feel that marriage can be a good thing. Some marry to have sex. That is a marital duty. If your partner is not doing the duty, should you wait once a month? Two months? Five months? Sex IS an indicator of relationship health. If you AREN'T having sex--you had better nip THAT right in the bud. It is better than cheating on the guy with someone else. Divorce him.

Good to see you use the word "some", when you were speaking in absolutes before. Not everybody marries in order to have sex.

"Marital duty".... wow, that sounds fun.

And you're the only person who's talking about cheating. Where did that come from?

 

[invisibleman]

Good to see you use the word "some", when you were speaking in absolutes before. Not everybody marries in order to have sex.

True. Not everybody gets married to have sex. It sounds like it is an important thing to the original poster. It sounds like she doesn't want to fuck another guy ( *Hence--I think that would be cheating )...she wants her husband to fuck her more often.

"Marital duty".... wow, that sounds fun. Sarcasm: Yeah. it does.<==Sarcasm ends here. Otherwise, why bother. Why EVEN marry someone that doesn't want to have sex with you? I don't think that the original poster is in an open relationship. If she isn't getting it from her hubby, she isn't getting it. Should she just wait it out vagina calling...shouting in the middle of the night closed to the ears of a sleepy hubby with morning wood?!!! That seems so fucking dull.

And you're the only person who's talking about *cheating. Where did that come from?

 

[joejack]

hotone: Get up at 4:55 AM. The early bird catches the worm.

 

[invisibleman]

Rob Just Rob--

Maybe YOU have better suggestions.
So, what do you propose to people with this dilemma? There are plenty of husbands and wives...that are in the same predicament of the other partner not having sex with them.

 

[SteveWood]

maybe he is a bit depressed because he feels as if he should be making more on the job (going through a bit of a financial bump now) and his boss treats him like crap (mental abuse...LOL)

I agree that this seems like the most likely cause - not just the stress of a bad boss but the key phrase, "he feels as if he should be making more on the job." Many men identify strongly with the role of provider and/or with their careers. A feeling that he is not making enough money ("enough" being whatever he has internalized as the "right amount" for a man of his age, education and background) or is otherwise not successful could be making him feel like less of a man, which could certainly be a sex-drive killer.

Has his sex drive always been this low? Did you have an active sex life before marriage? If there has been a decline in interest recently, depression and a feeling of failure could certainly be the cause.

 

[hotone07]

I agree that this seems like the most likely cause - not just the stress of a bad boss but the key phrase, "he feels as if he should be making more on the job." Many men identify strongly with the role of provider and/or with their careers. A feeling that he is not making enough money ("enough" being whatever he has internalized as the "right amount" for a man of his age, education and background) or is otherwise not successful could be making him feel like less of a man, which could certainly be a sex-drive killer.

Has his sex drive always been this low? Did you have an active sex life before marriage? If there has been a decline in interest recently, depression and a feeling of failure could certainly be the cause.

I suppose the job situation is the culprit.........we were more active while we were dating....I guess I just wanted to be reassured that his job situation could in fact be the cause. I think I get so frustrated that I can't sympathize with him at times and he feels as if I just don't understand. I don't think that he really wants to admit that his ego is shot because of his situation. I know that all he wants to do is give me the world, but he feels as if it's an uphill battle all the way.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Rob Just Rob--

Maybe YOU have better suggestions.
So, what do you propose to people with this dilemma? There are plenty of husbands and wives...that are in the same predicament of the other partner not having sex with them.

Talk to her partner without assuming that he has some kind of problem for not wanting sex as much as she does. Figure out a mutually acceptable sex frequency. Communicate. Spice things up. And recognize that some people have less interest in sex and that a lack of interest is not necessarily a reflection on her.

If all that doesn't work, and this is an important enough issue for the OP, then perhaps the marriage will not be salvageable.

And there are some happily married couples who have little or no sex. Infrequent sex can be a symptom of marital problems, but it doesn't always indicate marital problems.

 

[technopeasant]

Since I've been married (5 years now) I only get sex about once a month from the hubby. He rarely initiates...........I'm about to die here! Is there something wrong with him? I've always assumed that guys can't get enough! I am insatiable and it's killing me! Anyone else out there satisfied with once a month?

Instead of assuming that the guy has head problem, get him to his medical Dr. and get checked out. Almost any chronic medical condition can cause low sex drive. Here is a partal list; diabetus, Smoking, heart problems, cancer, blood problems, kidney problems, depression also many medications and some recreational drugs. Low testosterone can also cause the problem and there are all kinds of problems that can cause low testorsterone; mumps in the past, testicular damage (that baseball in the balls,etc.), testicular tumors (testicular cancer is the number two type of cancer in young men, puberty to about 40). Low "T" can also be caused by systemic endocrine problems ie. thyroid, and pituatary tumors and other disease.

If you find out none of these is the problem, then try some counseling and some negotiating. If you love each other and want to spend your life with each other then there is some room for some checking if all else fails then start looking for DNA on his underwear. Unless you have other evidence.

 

[B_andyo]

tell me about it..... i got 15 condoms on monday... and today is tuesday... only 2 condoms left... soon to buy more.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

slip him viagra....

 

[B_andyo]

nah... that doesnt do it... he doesnt seem to have sex drive at all!

 

[ripsrips]

Maybe he's out of shape and he thinks he's too fat for you or he's jacking off too much or he's BI...bring home some porn one straight and one thats BI and ask him to put one on if he puts the BI one on he might be BI and if thats the case play w/his asshole during sex or offer to strap one on for him.
How's your interaction during sex are you a limp board or a live wire?

Change things up...fuck or blow him in an area where you might get caught...
How do you look to him? have you changed alot?

If all else fails TALK TO HIM...
If he's not a talker write a letter to him and ask him to do the same to you.

Good luck.

 

[snoozan]

Sex drives vary greatly among people who have no medical or psychological conditions. It may be the case that he's just naturally wired to have a lower sex drive. Normal for my husband and I is about 1-2 times a week, on a good week. It doesn't bother either of us. We both consider that normal for us. We noticed when we had sex more because we were "supposed to," it got to be somewhat mechanical for us. I know another couple whose normal is about once a month. Part of it due to the man's depression, but not all of it. Having children, stressful jobs, and other obligations make having meaningful sex difficult.

If you've had everything tested, and you know he's not cheating, it may just be what his body and mind want right now. If you're not inclined to let this ruin your marriage, and he's not inclined or you don't want to get sex elsewhere, invest in some good sex toys and porn if you're into it. Men have been using porn to blunt their sex drives forever. It helps.

I don't know if this is what you're doing, but if you're looking for permission to have sex outside of your marriage because of this, don't ask us, ask your husband.

I know you asked the "guys" but I've been there, done that (believe it or not). This is not necessatily caused by an affair, nor it is a signal for divorce. It could be:

nagging or too much emotion (from the wife) (Read the book Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands)

Reading this book is one of the last things I'd recommend to anyone. If you're not familiar with Dr. Laura Sclessinger, she is a very controversial conservative radio host and author who professes nothing but disdain for homosexuals and anyone who doesn't live in a nuclear family. The thrust of this book is that marital dissatisfaction is based largely on nagging women who want to burden their husbands with their frivolous emotions. Though some of her ideas are valid to a point, I don't think this is where you want to be looking for advice. Instead, if you want to go this avenue, get both of you to a licensed marriage and family counselor to help work this issue out.

wife frumped out on him (you don't have pics posted, so I have no idea if this happened)

I don't know that a wife "frumping out" is a valid reason for a man to stop having sex with his wife, nor do I think that a man who truly loves his wife would consider this criteria for not wanting to have sex with her. After all, you're not having sex with the body, you're having sex with the person, the whole person you married and fell in love with. Mind you, it can't hurt if, as a woman or man, to take good care of your mental and physical health so that you are more confident and a more attractive person. I don't know, my husband loved me and loved having sex with me at 230 pounds as much as he does now many pounds lighter. Sex is better now because I feel more comfortable and he likes a new, firmer me-- but he always loved me and cherished me no matter what size. Plus, overweight doesn't equal frumpy. An overweight woman who takes care of herself is still more attractive tham a skinny woman with an unkempt appearance and poor hygeine, in my opinion.

At any rate, if everything is otherwise normal for the OP, it may just be sexual incompatibility. In that case, like anything in marriage, you've got to make compromises on both sides to make it work.

Good luck!

 

[Drifterwood]

I need good filthy hard fucking three or four times a week.

Then sensuous lovemaking as often as you like. :smile:

 

[Love-it]

I welcome your comment! He does work out, hasn't gained weight, and swears that he doesn't have low testosterone (he wakes up hard at 5AM every morning)....maybe he is a bit depressed because he feels as if he should be making more on the job (going through a bit of a financial bump now) and his boss treats him like crap (mental abuse...LOL)......I just hope it gets better...........

Textbook. Stress combined with guilt over something or many things and its probably not about having an affair.

Has he had a religious revelation or conversion, that does in some people.

He could be emotional about something, a recent death in the family, etc. Yes, guys can be emotional.

If he has been seriously working out he could be taking drugs to enhance body building and those drugs can affect the libido.

Has he always had a low sex drive?

 

[JMeister]

hotone: Get up at 4:55 AM. The early bird catches the worm.

Didn't you mean the early bird catches the sperm?