Sex Once a Month...

basque9

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I am curious as to how the OP's husband knows so definitely that his testosterone level is fine. I don't believe that getting a piss hard every morning attests to much about sex drive, per se! Even a dying man with a fulll bladder can get one of those pressure on the prostate kinds of erections. Go figure? I believe their complete lack of communication is telling in their sexual dysfunction. If you can't articulate your needs to someone , how on earth can they fulfill them?
 

JMeister

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And the phallusy is that erections are linked to testosterone levels. The reality is growth hormone levels play a significant role in erectionability.
 

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i think it mite very well be his sexuality on this one ...i know as a guy no matter how depressed or stressed ur gunna want to have sex more than once a month ... thats like sayin 12 times for the whooleee yearr is good enough for me ...No Way he prob is bi or maybe in the closet....i have a friend whose the same way ecept i know hes not completey straight and his girlfriend tolld me the same thing..they would go a month with out it unless he was drunk...
 

hotone07

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Textbook. Stress combined with guilt over something or many things and its probably not about having an affair.

Has he had a religious revelation or conversion, that does in some people.

He could be emotional about something, a recent death in the family, etc. Yes, guys can be emotional.

If he has been seriously working out he could be taking drugs to enhance body building and those drugs can affect the libido.

Has he always had a low sex drive?
Since we got married, but that's when work stress began.....
 

hotone07

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I am curious as to how the OP's husband knows so definitely that his testosterone level is fine. I don't believe that getting a piss hard every morning attests to much about sex drive, per se! Even a dying man with a fulll bladder can get one of those pressure on the prostate kinds of erections. Go figure? I believe their complete lack of communication is telling in their sexual dysfunction. If you can't articulate your needs to someone , how on earth can they fulfill them?
We've discussed it every month since we've been married and I ask him to get his testosterone level checked but he wont cuz he insists that it is fine.
 

davidjh7

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I have had a very low sex drive for quite awhile, mainly related to stress and depression. The combination was the main factor in losing my relationship of 7 years, which has only exacerbated the situation. Interestingly, money problems, mainly because of the support I was giving my partner, was one of the major stress factors...... I was not screwing around on the side, either. As far as his 5 am erection, a man can acheive an erection and not have sexual desire. The best thing I can reccomend, is to do things to help him feel his self worth, and his own attractiveness. Trust me, if a guy doesn't feel himself to be desireable and wanted, he often loses the desire in turn. I know I'm not the only one who gets feeling this way. One thing to see if you can determine is if he is still masturbating regularly. He may still be jacking off, but not as much, simply as a mechanical relief, and not because of any real desire. If his frequency of masturbation has declined with his loss of interest in sex, it may be chamical (low testosterone, etc.), ir psychological (depression, etc.). If his masturbation freuquency has remained the same, or increased, then I would consider counciling, because often that means he has some resentment or problem with something real or perceived you have done, and you need to talk and work that out. I hope this gives a little more insight into some other possibilities. Good Luck!!
 

basque9

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We've discussed it every month since we've been married and I ask him to get his testosterone level checked but he wont cuz he insists that it is fine.

I am beginning to think your hubby knows something that you don't. Perhaps he already suspects that he has E.D and is afraid of the doctor confirming that diagnosis. It is very bad form for him to ignore your concern! You really have legal grounds for divorce in most states!:smile:
 

rob_just_rob

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I am beginning to think your hubby knows something that you don't. Perhaps he already suspects that he has E.D and is afraid of the doctor confirming that diagnosis. It is very bad form for him to ignore your concern! You really have legal grounds for divorce in most states!:smile:

Don't most states have no-fault divorce these days, making the concept of "grounds for divorce" obsolete? :confused:
 

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You said he's been like this since you married, sounds like a good old case of now we're married I don't have to make an effort. Tell him to sort his act out, if you were having lots of sex before you were married it's unfair in a partnership to suddenly change the rules.
 

B_8strong8long

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Forgive me if I missed this somewhere in the thread, but how is the sex the 1 time a month you do have it?

There are a lot of reasons why your husband may have low sex drive, ranging from physical to emotional. What I've read gives the impression that it's emotional, if he's healthy and having these nightly erections, etc.

So, how the sex is when you do have it might shed some light.
 

hotone07

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Forgive me if I missed this somewhere in the thread, but how is the sex the 1 time a month you do have it?

There are a lot of reasons why your husband may have low sex drive, ranging from physical to emotional. What I've read gives the impression that it's emotional, if he's healthy and having these nightly erections, etc.

So, how the sex is when you do have it might shed some light.
It is VERY good......guess that's why I'm pulling my hair out here....I ALWAYS come unless it's been so long (sometimes we go for 2 or 3 months) that I have to get back in the groove of things....after reading the responses and talking more with the hubby I think that it may be his job situation that is leading to his low sex drive.....
 

invisibleman

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It is VERY good......guess that's why I'm pulling my hair out here....I ALWAYS come unless it's been so long (sometimes we go for 2 or 3 months) that I have to get back in the groove of things....after reading the responses and talking more with the hubby I think that it may be his job situation that is leading to his low sex drive.....


I hope that that is the situation. My ex had a sex drive problem, too...it involved him driving to two different guys' places to have sex (unbeknownest to me until the volatile breakup when he did reveal that bit of news to me.) leaving me to do without. :confused: