Sex position tips/help??

LaFemme

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@nailz

if they aren't taking the body language *hint*
Why not just tell them directly through verbal communication? Then or later you could tell them that when you do so-and-so it means that it is bad, not good. Or if you do this-and-this it is a good thing.

Problem solved, they stopped doing it and now they know for future reference. Even if they never sleep with you again, at least they know for the next person and are not continually doing it under the assumption they are doing good by her. Everyone walks home a winner that day. (and future days)
You'd be surprised at how many guys respond to "ow, ow!" by grabbing your hips and pounding harder. Or when you crawl away saying, no, they chase you, not letting go.
 

Doranq

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You'd be surprised at how many guys respond to "ow, ow!" by grabbing your hips and pounding harder. Or when you crawl away saying, no, they chase you, not letting go.

"whatever you are doing hurts"
"stop, I need to stop"
"Don't do that"
"Please stop"
"Something feels wrong, (please) stop"
"you are being to (rough,fast,hard,deep)"
"Hey this isn't working"
"get off of me"
etc I could go on.

Imo, "ow" should be enough, but like I said. if they don't get it, be *direct*

The only two reasons I can guess as why they wouldn't stop with no or ow is because

A. They aren't good people. ie scum

and/or

B. There is this thing about good hurt bad hurt, oh my dick is so big it hurts, yey me. And the whole women say no but they really mean yes crap that floats around. Some people pick it up, others don't. The she actually likes it rough. Basically believing in a misconception.
 
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"whatever you are doing hurts"
"stop, I need to stop"
"Don't do that"
"Please stop"
"Something feels wrong, (please) stop"
"you are being to (rough,fast,hard,deep)"
"Hey this isn't working"
"get off of me"
etc I could go on.

Imo, "ow" should be enough, but like I said. if they don't get it, be *direct*

The only two reasons I can guess as why they wouldn't stop with no or ow is because

A. They aren't good people. ie scum

and/or

B. There is this thing about good hurt bad hurt, oh my dick is so big it hurts, yey me. And the whole women say no but they really mean yes crap that floats around. Some people pick it up, others don't. The she actually likes it rough. Basically believing in a misconception.
Totally agree. Using words to communicate is a very good idea.
 
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LaFemme

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"whatever you are doing hurts"
"stop, I need to stop"
"Don't do that"
"Please stop"
"Something feels wrong, (please) stop"
"you are being to (rough,fast,hard,deep)"
"Hey this isn't working"
"get off of me"
etc I could go on.

Imo, "ow" should be enough, but like I said. if they don't get it, be *direct*

The only two reasons I can guess as why they wouldn't stop with no or ow is because

A. They aren't good people. ie scum

and/or

B. There is this thing about good hurt bad hurt, oh my dick is so big it hurts, yey me. And the whole women say no but they really mean yes crap that floats around. Some people pick it up, others don't. The she actually likes it rough. Basically believing in a misconception.
Totally agree. Using words to communicate is a very good idea.

True. "Ow" and "no" should be enough. "Get the fuck off me" should be enough. But I've been with several guys who seem to go deaf when they are dick deep. They are going to get off. Period.

Not every guy is good. And I think porn can mess up what a guy perceives as a woman enjoying sex. All that crying, gagging, messed up faces can confuse men who can't tell the real thing from the fake stuff. If I'm crying, gagging, kicking and messed up? I'm not having fun.
 

nailz

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@nailz

if they aren't taking the body language *hint*
Why not just tell them directly through verbal communication? Then or later you could tell them that when you do so-and-so it means that it is bad, not good. Or if you do this-and-this it is a good thing.

when i like something my partner is the first to know. i'll be pushing back so hard they'll fall back off the bed.
but if my body is literally recoiling away from their penis and i'm crawling away to escape from them they should be able to read that. if someone is paying that little attention to their partner and their feedback then i really wonder why are they having sex with a live person at all? go get a realdoll instead :rolleyes:

and for the record, most guys who totally ignore cues like that are typically just as (un)receptive to verbal communication. they're either off in their own world or they think if they just keep doing it you'll 'get used to it'.
 

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danm u ladies are making me feel like a terrible person (probably deservedly so). I definitely listen and stop to talk when she says ow or even a grunt or moan that doesn't sound like pleasure (although they do sound very similar much of the time and it can be confusing), the problem is I think she knows I like those positions and wants to "tough it out" for me sometimes, which is actually a total mood killer. I'd never intentionally hurt her. It's pretty obvious when you think about the body queues when she is arched the wrong way or moving to a different position. Honestly I just assume that is what's more pleasurable for her if she isn't telling me. just like any other position if you get set up wrong u adjust to something that works.

thanks @nailz @LaFemme @swoon @Doranq , great advice and communication is definitely key, I'm thinking maybe a safe word might be in order if I'm really this clueless... It's the worst to think I might be hurting her, definitely agree with @dfresh3 her pleasure is the best part, that's what I get off on.
 

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So I guess my question for the ladies is how do you make it work with a guy who is a little bigger?? do you just abandon those positions all together ? are there other ones that are just as good? I remember a comment about changing the angle... is that the secret? I know communication is key but I feel like when I bring it up we will just be stuck saying "ok we discussed it... now what?" Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated!
 
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Lilaussie

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Seems like you and your girl need to talk it out b4 you bang it out...

You like those postions, they dont do it for her, try them different ways, have her legs up, but dont lean over her forcing her legs to her chest?
Be more upright urself so she is less squished.
Maybe have her on the edge of the bed so her legs can be more 90deg than 45deg.

Once again lack of communication leads to terrible times...
 

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We exclude those positions. We do what feels good for me. We also skip doggy style because it hurts him that I'm so tight. We make accommodations so no one has to feel pain. If that means doing without as many positions l, then so be it.
 

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If I have learned anything from this thread it is communication communication communication, and pay attention to what you are being told, both verbally and body language. It also seems like we need to get more creative with our positions which could be a lot of fun ;-)

This may be another conversation for another thread but we usually try these toward the end of things, like after she has reached the finish line and we are focusing on me. I'm not sure if that makes any difference or not I assume girls don't really enjoy crazy positions after they finish, probably ready to be done? I don't know though she always says she is ready to keep going, till she isn't :p and we stop
 
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Notthe7

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omgomg DOD IT MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE! If she's already came (or came several times) then everything changes down there..
We are less lubed up and ready to go , ya know? our body starts calming down--
So maybe you work on your stamina in these positions (slow and steady wins the race) so that maybe if she can cum in these positions ya'll can cum together!?

I know after i bust off X amount and i'm just trynna finish him off there's certain positions that are like "grit your teeth and get it over with"

i love doggy style but i have a hard time cumming in that position unless the guy is willing to mix of speeds and variate if we are standing , kneeling whatev's.

Girls do enjoy crazy positions as long as THAT girl is getting stimulated ya know?

i say, inst4ead of doing them at the end of your sex reparte include them near the beginning or middle and ease into things
ask her (like you said communication) where what and how it feels good.

you know something? when a guy actually communicates to me- especially if we are dating- i really appreciate all his fucking efforts and definitely do more than i can to accomodate him in anyway possible
give and take
give and take.
 

TheRob

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Yup. I agree. When someone says "ouch", stop. Maybe she doesn't bend that way.

Personally, I like those positions, too, but can't hold them too long. I have back and hip problems (car accident from long ago) and it starts to hurt. Stretching and yoga helps some what, but it depends on her. It depends on her flexibility, on where she carries her weight, how big her breasts are, if she's had any traumatic injury to her body - all kinds of factors. Oh, and age.

So basically, some things can change with stretching before hand and some things can't. Big breasts and knees to chest leads to trouble breathing - can't change that. Stop when it hurts.

so in addition to some positions not working cus fo the size of the guys penis now the size of the girls breasts may impact things
big parts make things complicated I swear
 
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TheRob

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when i like something my partner is the first to know. i'll be pushing back so hard they'll fall back off the bed.
but if my body is literally recoiling away from their penis and i'm crawling away to escape from them they should be able to read that. if someone is paying that little attention to their partner and their feedback then i really wonder why are they having sex with a live person at all? go get a realdoll instead :rolleyes:

and for the record, most guys who totally ignore cues like that are typically just as (un)receptive to verbal communication. they're either off in their own world or they think if they just keep doing it you'll 'get used to it'.

if you psh back hard enough to move them back isn't it reasonable to assume they may be thrusting forward so hard they may assume they knocked you forward?
verbal communication is more precise
 
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MickeyLee

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You'd be surprised at how many guys respond to "ow, ow!" by grabbing your hips and pounding harder. Or when you crawl away saying, no, they chase you, not letting go.

:mad:
i am not at all surprised how many guys respond "ow,ow!" when you grab their balls and twisting harder
;)
and they even crawl away from you saying no... ya just have to keep ya grip strength up



eta: i am still amazed women have sex with men
i mean, if you find a good one, have fun
the rest? they really need to be put on an island somewhere
 
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@MickeyLee I totally agree with your eta... no idea why she lets me stick this thing in her sometimes. :p

@Notthe7 Thank you for the tips and advice! that makes a ton of sense! I know trying it at the beginning is probably a no go, those are some difficult positions for her to "warm up" in. But in the middle before she cums makes so much sense, I guess we never really tried it b/c we usually get that rhythm going at some point and when we keep that up it puts her over the top. Didn't want to disrupt that.
"grit your teeth and get it over with"
That is the worst possible sinario. Sex is just not fun at that point and when you know she isn't enjoying it, it is so much harder to finish.
I know after i bust off X amount
haven't mastered multiple orgasms yet with her, might be something to look into especially if I'm lasting longest than your average joe and to help put off that shutdown mode? might need to start another thread to identify tips for that one?

@TheRob great comments and love your reactions!
 

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Multiple orgasms are a weird thing, i haven't even mastered them on myself either and i'm almost thirty now- haha how sad huh?

You'll get there or if it's good enough you might not need to even give her more than , every chick is different.

Best of luck!
 

gma26_4521

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I can say, for most part, I don't speed up and "pound away" unless she asks me too. Especially from a rear entry position. Varying depth and pace, reaching around and rubbing her clit as I am simply steady inside her is enjoyable for her. It allows her to be comfortable and enjoy the position we are in. As far as missionary and legs up business, a pillow under her hips helps for angle and her comfort. I also will slow down or stop at times while inside her and rub her girly bits some. Just monotonous pounding away is not what she enjoys-sometimes maybe. Most of time, not. A nice change up she really likes is stopping entirely and doing some oral and then going back to penetrative sex!