Sex Preferance: Foreplay Over Anal

junglefever87

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The community tends to lump gay men into top, bottom, or vers, as if we MUST have penetrative sex and we MUST be one of those types. Though I would fall in the category of a top, as that is my preference for anal sex, I actually don’t really find the act of penetrative sex that appealing. I am far more turned on by foreplay... oral, touching, and the like. I have personally found many partners who are receptive to this and can be brought to intense orgasm without ever performing anal.

I am now married and not dating, but when I was in the game, I felt like every road always had to lead to anal, even though I didn’t want it to.

Am I alone in this? Is their a term for guys like me?
 

dfw051980

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The community tends to lump gay men into top, bottom, or vers, as if we MUST have penetrative sex and we MUST be one of those types. Though I would fall in the category of a top, as that is my preference for anal sex, I actually don’t really find the act of penetrative sex that appealing. I am far more turned on by foreplay... oral, touching, and the like. I have personally found many partners who are receptive to this and can be brought to intense orgasm without ever performing anal.

I am now married and not dating, but when I was in the game, I felt like every road always had to lead to anal, even though I didn’t want it to.

Am I alone in this? Is their a term for guys like me?

I somewhat agree. Im a Top (trying to be more verse but mostly top). I definitely like anal sex as a top and being sexual with someone i would like it to lead to that but i don't consider it a requirement. But what I dont like is when guys don't want any lead up to anal sex with foreplay (Kissing or making out). Ive been single for quite awhile unfortunately and its been years since a decent makeout session before it anything else. I get being horny and just wanting to hookup but sex is so much better with some passionate kissing, grabbing rubbing bodies together. I dont find it sexy when guys just drop their pants and bend over with no lead up before it.
 

headbang8

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Am I alone in this? Is their a term for guys like me?

You’re not alone. As @Industrialsize says, oral is sex. And it’s 100% sex.

All gay sex, and a good deal of straight sex, is improvisation. Great sex uses our bodies in all manner of inventive ways.

Like you, @junglefever87, my preferred role is top. I’ve tried all manner of prostate experiments, and I get how the the sensation could be pleasurable. But I’m clearly just not built for it.

Anal ain’t always easy. It often needs preparation. For me, relaxed day-to-day sex happens too spontaneously to include much of it. Especially casual sex.

That’s not to throw shade on those who love a good rogering. I’ve participated in enough anal sex to know how much satisfaction it can bring to both parties.

An ex of mine expected every intimate encounter to include me penetrating him. I was happy to oblige, but he could sense my relative indifference. This sexual incompatibility led to our friendly parting of the ways.

Like you, I’ve lived a rich, rewarding sex life with anal as the exception, rather than the rule. There are more of us than you think.
 
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igotthebigone

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I somewhat agree. Im a Top (trying to be more verse but mostly top). I definitely like anal sex as a top and being sexual with someone i would like it to lead to that but i don't consider it a requirement. But what I dont like is when guys don't want any lead up to anal sex with foreplay (Kissing or making out). Ive been single for quite awhile unfortunately and its been years since a decent makeout session before it anything else. I get being horny and just wanting to hookup but sex is so much better with some passionate kissing, grabbing rubbing bodies together. I dont find it sexy when guys just drop their pants and bend over with no lead up before it.
I know what you mean
 

NorthEastUk

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The community tends to lump gay men into top, bottom, or vers, as if we MUST have penetrative sex and we MUST be one of those types. Though I would fall in the category of a top, as that is my preference for anal sex, I actually don’t really find the act of penetrative sex that appealing. I am far more turned on by foreplay... oral, touching, and the like. I have personally found many partners who are receptive to this and can be brought to intense orgasm without ever performing anal.

I am now married and not dating, but when I was in the game, I felt like every road always had to lead to anal, even though I didn’t want it to.

Am I alone in this? Is their a term for guys like me?
No I’m the same. I don’t mind anal and I would be classed as a top. However, sex without anal is amazing. You come up with more ways to pleasure each other. I would rather us both cum together 69 style than cum in his arse.
 
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muskokan

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i don't know! as a full fledged bottom i do like to get my ass full whenever i can. A really good sex session does not need to end with that though. All sex is great and the end is usually an explosion of cum from someone yet it does not need to be inside my rectum. i have had more exciting sex without being penetrated but it is totally wonderful when a nice sized penis slides balls deep in me. The conundrum of gay men perhaps?
 

RammingGull

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When I was single and hooking up I thought just doing oral and other types of interaction was sufficient most of the time. I mean, having sex as two men has a bit more prep involved than with a man and woman anyway. however, being in a LTR and not having anal sex anymore I do miss it quite a lot...
 
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deleted1074483

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as a very happy to be top guy i do like the opportunity for time with my bf when thats not the expected end goal, when it is just about pleasuring each other in a relaxed way and exploring each other's body finding new erogenous zones and different stuff that turns us both on. i love a good snog session and just holding and cuddling with each other too. so i completely agree that 'sex' shouldn't just be about anal sex, from our brains outwards our bodies and minds are amazing and a deep conversation with my partner can be equally as fulfilling as as what may be considered sexual, even when not a sexual conversation - sapiosexuality is hot.
 

Brodie888

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I must admit that I am one of those who love being fucked. Not necessarily every time but at least a couple of times a week.

I'm not sure why, but I find regular anal keeps my hole "wanting" to be fucked. If I have a long break, it seems to go into hibernation mode. It's hard to explain but I know other bottoms know what I mean.

If my partner was to say he didn't want to fuck me anymore, in my mind I'd question his commitment to me.

Perhaps if we had never had anal sex that would be different. But then again I don't think we'd have been compatible.
 

theplayerking

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When I was hooking up, I would want to fuck, be fucked or (preferably) flip. I wouldn’t even consider a hookup request without anal. Mainly because I always saw casual sex as a bonding experience and there’s nothing more bonding (in my opinion) than giving a guy your ass.

Now that I have a boyfriend, we don’t do anal every time.
 

Player_01

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I think the straights assume we have to be like male/female parings but not all sex is one person poking another :p

I've posted the term 'side' before as I think it describes me:

"Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time, before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so. Some may even enjoy receiving or giving anal stimulation with a finger, but nothing beyond that."

Guys on the 'Side': Looking Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms | HuffPost

I have topped and thought "oral top" might work but I would prefer getting sucked and sucking more than anal. Butts just aren't that interesting to me. LOL.
 

JonSomebody

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I've been with guys that we start of with foreplay and the foreplay is so good that anal is non-existent. I have also been with guys where the foreplay is so good that they do want anal although initially..that was not the case...so in my opinion..it depends on whom you are with at that time.