Sex problems

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by wingnut84, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    I actually have two problems, kind of unrelated (or maybe not, who knows?) The first is that when I'm fucking for over a certain period of time (let's say 20 minutes... I'm not sure of the exact amount), while I have no problem getting hard in the first place or staying hard while i'm inside, if for whatever reason i have to pull out temporarily my little guy loses all his steam VERY QUICKLY. I would say in less than 15 seconds it's not hard enough to get back in, and it is extremely hard to get back up. Needless to say, this is extremely embarrasing.

    The second, and possibly worse, problem is that I have a very hard time cumming inside someone. Whilst beating off I have no trouble whatsoever, but I could count on one hand the number of times I've came from fucking or getting sucked. On the one hand, it's nice because I can go for literally hours (assuming my guy doesn't slip out or she doesn't get raw), but girls always seem to think that it's their fault and that they're inadequate, even though I know it's me.

    Have any of you guys ever experienced these problems and how do you deal with them?
     
  2. ganja4me

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    Well I have had a similar experience once. I had a girl giving me a blow job and I guess her neck got tired so she started using her hand. For some reason I just wasn't getting nowhere and started going limp right in her hand. She felt pretty bad about it and so did I. I told her I had a lot of stuff on my mind to make her feel better but that wasn't the truth. I didn't really know why it happened but it did. Anyway that's the only time I experienced that. I'm sure you will get some good advice soon though.
     
  3. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Hmmm... it's good it only happened that once. I suppose it can happen to any guy, but it's happened to me on a number of occasions. I know someone will suggest stroking it while it's outside, but that doesn't really work.
     
  4. Max

    Max New Member

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    I experienced both when I first began to have sex, and looking back I put both problems down to an attack of nerves.

    Difficulties of initial insertion would make me lose confidence very quickly, and I quickly discovered that the advice I'd been given at school ("Why don't you put it in soft and grow inside her?") was worse than useless. But any man will know the embarrassment of losing his steam from time to time. Sometimes just thinking about something at work will do it; the trouble is your partner can take it personally!

    Being unable to ejaculate was a very temporary problem, and didn't relate to lack of excitement and stimulation, but maybe from some deep-seated reluctance to 'let go', very likely in my case connected with self-consciousness about the force and amount of my ejaculation. Could it also sometimes be related to anxieties about contraception?

    I soon got over it; maybe a little alcohol helped release that particular inhibition the first time or two.
     
  5. HazelGod

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    It bears repeating that the brain is the most powerful sex organ in the body. Quite simply, if your mind isn't engaged, the equipment may or may not work on its own.

    Don't mistake that to mean that you have to be cerebral about sex. Believe me, some of my wilder moments have come about when I've completely let go of my conscious thoughts and immersed myself in the pure animal experience.

    Try to find something about your partner that really does it for you...a sound, a scent, a taste, and focus on that. And unless your the most truly narcissistic person on the planet, don't think about your dick.
     
  6. MCC

    MCC New Member

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    It might be that you like the sensation of your self against your own hand - Does it help if you reach around her and touch yourself? Splaying your fingers and pushing between them into her will give you a compromise, you can also play with bits of her anatomy whilst you are there...

    Loosing steam is a bad feeling, and in may ways it can be a self fulfilling event. It usually happens for me during changes in position, or when it pops out during vigorous thrusting, once you start to think "oh oh, it's going" you have to totally switch to thinking about something that really gets you going, or I find myself just totally dead in seconds. It is worse if you know that your partner is really getting somewhere, and you know they will miss out with a change in rhythm or style... thats the self fulfilling thing.

    I know it is mental, and that makes it hard to transfer techniques, I keep a reserve "box of really sexy thoughts" that I rummage through to keep the pot boiling, and it works fine for me.
     
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