Sex v's affection

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I was wondeing out of you lovely ladies and wonderful gents who craves affection or sex more.

    Affection - kissing, cuddling, gentle touch, romance
    sex - penetration, oral, masturbation, games etc.


    Is there a difference between the sex's and what we crave?
     
  2. ganja4me

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    I do love sex a lot but now that I haven't had a g/f in a while I would say I miss the affection the most.
     
  3. Mr. Snakey

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    I need sex and affection. If i had to pick one or the other i would pick affection. There is nothing more powerfull than the feeling of her hand on my shoulder or anywhere she touches me.
     
  4. Principessa

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    Lately I have been craving sex. I can and have lived without sex for ridicuously long periods of time. However, I cannot live with out affection, even a brief, hello hug from a friend will suffice. It's not the stimulation I crave, but the human connection.
     
  5. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    Sex is awesome, but nothing can replace that shoulder to lean on, or the arms that hold you, a gentle kiss on the forehead. I would take affection any day since sex may or may not be around when we get older.
     
  6. gargant1978

    gargant1978 New Member

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    I prefer affection. It's the greatest gift from God to His most intellectual creatures :smile:
     
  7. SurferGirlCA

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    I don't like the "vs." part. Why is it an either/or? The best relationship is one that combines both, preferably in adequate amounts. :wink:

    If I had to choose, I would miss affection more. There are lots of products out there that can help relieve sexual tension. Nothing replaces the feeling of strong arms around you or a warm body pressing against you.
     
  8. No_Strings

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    If I had to choose between one or the other, affection without too much hesitation.
     
  9. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    In my current relationship, all of the above kind of blend together in a continuum, so it's difficult to say where one starts and the other leaves off. All I know is when we're together, we're in almost constant physical contact, and that can mean a whole variety of things. We're both so sensual that any touch can turn sexual in an instant. And we affectionately touch each other's genitals...I would maybe say that falling asleep with my hands around his cock and/or his fingers in my pussy is affectionate, maybe even more so than sexual? It's hard to say.

    In my past relationship, though, I don't think I got enough of either. My ex is a great guy, but we ultimately had to admit we were a mismatch.

    I definitely need lots of sex and affection, and refuse to settle for less, ever again. :biggrin1:

    Life is too short.
     
  10. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    True, normally you need both to co-exsist to be happy..but an extreme scenerio to show my point

    Your with your partner for a long time and are very close. Then some unfortant accident occurs and your partner losses his ability to get an erection and also his testosterone levels become non-existant and he is on longer interested in sex of any form.

    Could you still be happy with him knowing you will get affection but never be intimate again?
     
  11. coltguy

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    This is the reason so many guys go to prostitutes. Not for the sex but for a brief moment of affection: They simply need to be held and touched. Because so many men, particularly from previous generations, were inculcated with the idea that tenderness, affection and touch were somehow less than masculine, the only source that was acceptable was sex. If you don't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend you're screwed.
    This partialy explains promiscuity in gay men as well.
     
  12. gargant1978

    gargant1978 New Member

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    I hope everyone likes it.

    Untitled
    --------
    Be it romance, be it lust
    At night, this feeling blurs
    From the distant of sense
    Lost without digress

    Shall pink stain to fiery red?
    Her hair, ah, that familiar velvet scent
    Shall red shade to bright pink?
    Her smile melts my icicles of irk

    Be it romance, be it lust
    Like a gold fish receiving his pellet
    The frenziness unbound limitless
    Greed saturates to multiplicity

    Untangling the spiderweb ahead
    I try to free this motion
    Just to sit there with her
    On that corner of the timeless earth

    Be it romance, be it lust
    An ice cube falls on a hot soil
    Molding together to a piece of mud
    Warm, wet, and tender to touch

    My lust bursts into passion, desire
    This timeless earth is our witness
    When minds and feelings fueled by the heat from two bodies
    Even after the heat vanish, two minds and feelings still unite
    Yearning for eternity

    ==============================================
    Gargant1978
    Created in the mood for "Shade of Blue" (by Incognito)
     
  13. SassySpy

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    Really? I would have never thought that- I always thought men visited prostitutes for the sex with no strings sort of thing...

    anyways, for me its affection. If I loved someone who could never have an erection again we could still have a fulfilling life.
     
  14. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    This is a great question. I think I could be happy provided he was still intimate with me. I'm taking intimate to mean other than penetration only.

    If he were willing, I would still like sensual massages, oral satisfaction and use of sex toys to bring me to orgasm occasionally. There would definately have to be more affectionate behavior in the relationship to compensate for other areas.

    Conversely, if I am still in my sexual prime and he were unable or unwilling to provide that intimacy and sexual release for me, I honestly don't think that I would remain happy or faithful.

    Karmen
     
  15. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I opt for affection any day of the week. Warm passionate kisses and soft sweet caresses do more for me than sex. Sex is great, don't get me wrong... but I could spend hours in a mans arms, feelings his lips against mine, his hands over my body. It's awesome. :biggrin:
     
  16. Lordpendragon

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    They are two sides of the same coin for me. I can't imagine not being affectionate with someone I make love with.
     
  17. Love-it

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    Affection was all we had sometimes for month after month after month and it was good to OK but there were times when the sexual frustration was almost overwhelming, but I never acted on it. I even set a mental timeline once, 18 years ago, for a point where if things didn't get better I would for sanity's sake move on, but I weathered that and here we are with her new understanding and ability to enjoy penetrative sex is evolving and after 30 years we started having sex again.

    During that time there was some oral sex so it wasn't a total lock out but it was hard to go months with hand holding, some kissing and hugging and laying next to a lovely woman who I knew was capable of enjoying sex as demonstrated orally but she had health issues early on along with family induced "problems" that took years for her to process and she was afraid of penetration because it always hurt, we wish that we had figured out the girth issue years ago.

    In my opinion affection is extremely important but there has to be acknowledgement and understanding of the functional partners sexuality.
     
  18. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    just sex.
     
  19. Mackleanen Beebarf

    Mackleanen Beebarf New Member

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    As you explained it the second time I'd rather go without sex if I had to choose being with a partner who could only provide one or the other. HOWEVER, you specified which we "crave" more in the original post, so I'm going to have to answer sex. Affection can come in little bits over time, whereas there's a lot more urgency involved when it comes to needing sex.

    I hope that makes sense. I'm not articuating that as well as I'd like.
     
  20. fluoro

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    I learned long ago that sex without affection was empty for me - the most incredible sex I've experienced has always been with people I really cared about.
     
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