Sex w/gf ruined by big ex - help

[creek47]

Leave fantasy land that is LPSG and realize that in the real world no one is that obsessed with dick size to ruin a relationship over it.

 

[familyman44]

you have nothing to fear from him he is in her past you are with her my wife was with plenty of guys bigger than me and we been married 31 years and she loves my size so this is your problem you just have to understand she is with you for a reason dont screw it up or you will loose her .

 

[bosceltic]

You're overthinking this one wayyyyy to much

 

[giantguy23]

huge cock is cool and all but not everything in sex man. you may have the moves

 

[dragondance]

Well, I have proven to myself once and for all that the key to happiness for a man is ethical non-monogamy. My gf has had my blessing to do anything she wants with anyone she’d like, we have no rules, and the same applies for me.

I have a new 22yr old gf that I’ve added to my life, as well as a gorgeous older woman, and that has made a tremendous amount of difference. In monogamy, a man can really feel threatened by past partners, but the truth is it’s monogamy itself that is the enemy. Once a woman gets bored with a man, that’s the end for him, and women always get bored after 1-4 years (there have been many studies that back this up).

The strangest thing, but when she plays with others, I’m more attracted to her, and she is more attracted to me. When I play with others, I feel better about myself, which makes me feel extremely sexy.

Having my younger gf tell me last night, “of course I was screaming, you were “inside of inside of me” (that exact phrase) is hella good for my confidence and ego, and judge all you want, men thrive on that shit.

Happiness is non-monogamy. Who the fuck cares who’s bigger/better when it’s an all you can eat buffet for all?

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Well, I have proven to myself once and for all that the key to happiness for a man is ethical non-monogamy. My gf has had my blessing to do anything she wants with anyone she’d like, we have no rules, and the same applies for me.

I have a new 22yr old gf that I’ve added to my life, as well as a gorgeous older woman, and that has made a tremendous amount of difference. In monogamy, a man can really feel threatened by past partners, but the truth is it’s monogamy itself that is the enemy. Once a woman gets bored with a man, that’s the end for him, and women always get bored after 1-4 years (there have been many studies that back this up).

The strangest thing, but when she plays with others, I’m more attracted to her, and she is more attracted to me. When I play with others, I feel better about myself, which makes me feel extremely sexy.

Having my younger gf tell me last night, “of course I was screaming, you were “inside of inside of me” (that exact phrase) is hella good for my confidence and ego, and judge all you want, men thrive on that shit.

Happiness is non-monogamy. Who the fuck cares who’s bigger/better when it’s an all you can eat buffet for all?

Yeah, this'll come crashing down too. What sort of meltdown are you gonna have when you reach the age where you become invisible to naive 22 year olds with zip experience, and the cougars are, seeking younger than you?

This open relationship thing, in your case, is a crutch. There are healthy open relationships. Yours isn't one of them. You don't go from freak-out to healed in a few weeks because you found a nubile and a cougar. I wish you luck, because I doubt anything I wrote will sink in for years, when it's too late.

 

[Brian S]

So, I'm confused. You were worried about the dick size of your gf's ex, yet you're supposedly fucking around anyway? I don't see what difference this supposedly made, then?

I mean what I'm about to say with all honesty and concern: your version of a non-monogamous relationship does not come off healthy. It sounds like you just want fuck buddies, and that's fine if you do. I'm not typically one to judge, but like @ItsAll4Kim said, it sounds like a crutch; an excuse. I don't buy into the line of thinking that you MUST fuck around in order to be happy. Some people enjoy it, some don't, but it certainly is NOT a necessity for a long-term relationship. My partner and I, after 16 years, are dipping our toes into that world. But we are playing together, not solo. And it's not because we MUST to save our relationship; in fact, our relationship has never been stronger and that's why we're comfortable seeing about bringing a third in once in a while. A relationship needs to be stable without it if it's going to survive with it.

I too think it's a bit odd that you went from being a guy overly concerned with your gf's dick size to a roaming stallion sticking your dick in anything that moves twice, in a matter of a couple weeks or so. It concerns me that you had a self-described "emotional breakdown" after seeing a dick bigger than yours. That's not healthy, man. Nothing that you've described sounds healthy. I really am not trying to pick at scabs here, and I'm not trying to be rude, but you don't sound secure at all. I'm taking all of what you said as truth, as skeptical as I may be, but if all this IS true, I would recommend you seek more counseling. People don't just flip out when they see their SO has been with a bigger dick, and people shouldn't use sex with others as a crutch to enrich their main relationship.

 

[dragondance]

Truly profound comments from intellectual giants, who also just so happen to be experts on the emotions that other people experience. I am humbled to hear the divine wisdom pour from your fingertips.

As to your thoughts that I simply cannot experience what I experience, in the way I choose, because you declare it to be so, I say simply, you are obviously wrong, because here I am, in the exact reality I have described, and I’m surprisingly happy.

Happiness doesn’t just blow up in your face because it makes you happy. That’s a puritanical and outdated thought construct that has no place in modern society.

I don’t care one way or another which person comes in and out of my life or when. That’s the whole point. If I typed out all that I experience in my life, perhaps it would all make sense to you, but I would venture a guess that none of you is capable of perceiving life outside of “the prison” regardless, so enjoy what time you have left.

I certainly am.

 

[Brian S]

Truly profound comments from intellectual giants, who also just so happen to be experts on the emotions that other people experience. I am humbled to hear the divine wisdom pour from your fingertips.

As to your thoughts that I simply cannot experience what I experience, in the way I choose, because you declare it to be so, I say simply, you are obviously wrong, because here I am, in the exact reality I have described, and I’m surprisingly happy.

Happiness doesn’t just blow up in your face because it makes you happy. That’s a puritanical and outdated thought construct that has no place in modern society.

I don’t care one way or another which person comes in and out of my life or when. That’s the whole point. If I typed out all that I experience in my life, perhaps it would all make sense to you, but I would venture a guess that none of you is capable of perceiving life outside of “the prison” regardless, so enjoy what time you have left.

I certainly am.

You have misconstrued almost all of what I said.

 

[43698]

It is like you bi-polar or you are completely full of Shit.

 

[dragondance]

Your mom misconstrued you, and bipolar professional artists are awesome people. Not everyone is an accountant.

 

[Brian S]

Your mom misconstrued you, and bipolar professional artists are awesome people. Not everyone is an accountant.

Yep, your reply is, sadly, all too predictable. By the way, it's 2018, nobody tells "your mom" jokes anymore.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Just a thought: running with others without including your SO isn't remotely a fix for a shitty relationship. Hence it being a clutch. At the end of the day, you eventually come back to the same woman who slept with a guy whose huge cock freaks you out.

And I don't write what I did because I feel I'm clairvoyant. It's based on experience with others who've taken your route, and my own life. But stay the course. Please.

 

[dragondance]

I will try to explain.

If I feel like I am not completely fulfilled in my sex life, ie having sex with multiple hot women, where no one has the power to cut me off from sex (aka leave me without my physical needs met), then I tend to get very jealous over silly things.

When I have multiple (at least 3) partners, aka redundancy, I feel assured that my needs will be met, and I am happy, and unconcerned with jealousy.

I would still rather not think about the pictures of my primary gf with the huge cock, but they don’t haunt me. This is how I keep myself happy, and it is very effective. If at some point one of my girls leaves, no prob, I will find another to replace her, and then I’m back to my happy place with three.

Everyone involved knows, and everyone involved is okay with it. If you guys aren’t, that’s not my issue. Everyone is different.

I did not have my backup for my backup in place when I originally wrote this post, hence I felt some unease when I felt my primary was trying specifically to cut my knees out from under me displaying the huge cock pics.

Also, after reviewing the situation with my therapist and multiple friends, we all agree she was trying to undermine my confidence or sabotage the relationship, probably subconsciously. It doesn’t matter, because I do care about her, but I do not depend on her, or any other one person, for anything.

Hopefully that makes some sense, and I wish you all well.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

There's an upside: we've found someone who makes wally seem well adjusted and stable.

I will try to explain.

If I feel like I am not completely fulfilled in my sex life, ie having sex with multiple hot women, where no one has the power to cut me off from sex (aka leave me without my physical needs met), then I tend to get very jealous over silly things.

When I have multiple (at least 3) partners, aka redundancy, I feel assured that my needs will be met, and I am happy, and unconcerned with jealousy.

I would still rather not think about the pictures of my primary gf with the huge cock, but they don’t haunt me. This is how I keep myself happy, and it is very effective. If at some point one of my girls leaves, no prob, I will find another to replace her, and then I’m back to my happy place with three.

Everyone involved knows, and everyone involved is okay with it. If you guys aren’t, that’s not my issue. Everyone is different.

I did not have my backup for my backup in place when I originally wrote this post, hence I felt some unease when I felt my primary was trying specifically to cut my knees out from under me displaying the huge cock pics.

Also, after reviewing the situation with my therapist and multiple friends, we all agree she was trying to undermine my confidence or sabotage the relationship, probably subconsciously. It doesn’t matter, because I do care about her, but I do not depend on her, or any other one person, for anything.

Hopefully that makes some sense, and I wish you all well.

I never said I wasn't okay with what you're doing. I said it's a crutch that WILL fail at some point. If you can't deal with something unimportant like what an ex-boyfriend is packing, your therapist isn't doing you a service by not helping you find a healthy way to deal with it and get past it. I agree with his/her opinion that your girlfriend is fucking with you. But she isn't with him (or is she? You said you're both free) and we'd hope for good reason.

What happens if all your fuckbuddies tell you they were with bigger guys? And seriously, you can't see that *needing* two spares just to deal with your "primary's" past is a huge red flag??? Come on...

 

[Brian S]

I will try to explain.

If I feel like I am not completely fulfilled in my sex life, ie having sex with multiple hot women, where no one has the power to cut me off from sex (aka leave me without my physical needs met), then I tend to get very jealous over silly things.

When I have multiple (at least 3) partners, aka redundancy, I feel assured that my needs will be met, and I am happy, and unconcerned with jealousy.

I would still rather not think about the pictures of my primary gf with the huge cock, but they don’t haunt me. This is how I keep myself happy, and it is very effective. If at some point one of my girls leaves, no prob, I will find another to replace her, and then I’m back to my happy place with three.

Everyone involved knows, and everyone involved is okay with it. If you guys aren’t, that’s not my issue. Everyone is different.

I did not have my backup for my backup in place when I originally wrote this post, hence I felt some unease when I felt my primary was trying specifically to cut my knees out from under me displaying the huge cock pics.

Also, after reviewing the situation with my therapist and multiple friends, we all agree she was trying to undermine my confidence or sabotage the relationship, probably subconsciously. It doesn’t matter, because I do care about her, but I do not depend on her, or any other one person, for anything.

Hopefully that makes some sense, and I wish you all well.

There is nothing wrong with having multiple partners, if that's what you choose to do. There is nothing wrong with monogamy, either. But...what you described isn't healthy. I'm not talking about happy; happy is fleeting and can change at the drop of a hat. I'm talking mentally healthy.

1.) The fact that you look at women as means to an end, to service your "physical needs" is unhealthy. The fact that you stated before that all women get tired of men after 1-4 years is unhealthy.

2.) The fact that you, before, said you had an emotional breakdown knowing that your gf has had a bigger dick than yours is unhealthy on so, so many levels.

3.) The fact that you think you need a bunch of women in order to achieve happiness and stave off jealousy is incredibly unhealthy. If you had said you like sleeping around in order to enjoy a variety of women, I'd be on board with that. But you didn't. You said you need them so that YOU are fulfilled, not jealous, and happy.

This has nothing to do with having multiple fuckbuddies. We've all been there; I know I have. I'm hardly a prude; I'm a gay man with low morals - I've had experiences that would freak out most others people. But I've never worried about what kind of dicks my sexual partners encountered prior to me. I never felt like I HAD to sleep around or I'd be a miserable person wracked with doubts and insecurities.

I'm sorry to have to say this, but nothing you've said smacks of a stable, secure person. When an alcoholic doesn't want to deal with their own issues, they turn to alcohol. This is what you're doing with sex. Having multiple fuckbuddies should be fun and carefree, not something used to fix your issues with jealousy or insecurity. There's a difference between having superficial fun and feeling truly carefree and fulfilled. Superficial fun will always, always run out. Bottom line, you should be a happy, well-adjusted person with or without sex. Not dependent upon the amount of partners you have.

 

[dragondance]

There is nothing wrong with having multiple partners, if that's what you choose to do. There is nothing wrong with monogamy, either. But...what you described isn't healthy. I'm not talking about happy; happy is fleeting and can change at the drop of a hat. I'm talking mentally healthy.

1.) The fact that you look at women as means to an end, to service your "physical needs" is unhealthy. The fact that you stated before that all women get tired of men after 1-4 years is unhealthy.

2.) The fact that you, before, said you had an emotional breakdown knowing that your gf has had a bigger dick than yours is unhealthy on so, so many levels.

3.) The fact that you think you need a bunch of women in order to achieve happiness and stave off jealousy is incredibly unhealthy. If you had said you like sleeping around in order to enjoy a variety of women, I'd be on board with that. But you didn't. You said you need them so that YOU are fulfilled, not jealous, and happy.

This has nothing to do with having multiple fuckbuddies. We've all been there; I know I have. I'm hardly a prude; I'm a gay man with low morals - I've had experiences that would freak out most others people. But I've never worried about what kind of dicks my sexual partners encountered prior to me. I never felt like I HAD to sleep around or I'd be a miserable person wracked with doubts and insecurities.

I'm sorry to have to say this, but nothing you've said smacks of a stable, secure person. When an alcoholic doesn't want to deal with their own issues, they turn to alcohol. This is what you're doing with sex. Having multiple fuckbuddies should be fun and carefree, not something used to fix your issues with jealousy or insecurity. There's a difference between having superficial fun and feeling truly carefree and fulfilled. Superficial fun will always, always run out. Bottom line, you should be a happy, well-adjusted person with or without sex. Not dependent upon the amount of partners you have.

 

[dragondance]

Happy adjusted person without sex? You guys are fucking psychotic.

Human males NEED sex. Not want. NEED. It’s not something they’re entitled to, they have to earn it, and since they NEED it, most of us do.

You’re based in a puritanical horseshit frame of mind that says you can’t be happy all the time. You most certainly can.

I posted this because my primary caught me off guard with something that really penetrated my psyche. I didn’t post it because there’s something wrong with me. You guys then proceeded to jump on me as if there is something wrong with me for having emotions and some vulnerability. That’s okay. I feel sorry for all of you who can’t get off of your fat asses long enough to experience true emotions. You can continue to live vicariously through characters vulnerable artists create to entertain you as you sit in your living room.

1) read this article. It’s about a very in depth scientific study that found monogamous women lose all attraction for their male partners within 1-4 years, regardless of the situation. It’s science bitch.

Unexcited? There May Be a Pill for That

2) I know she’s had bigger dicks than me. All my FWBs have had and will continue to have sex with guys with bigger dicks than me. Not as often as they will have sex with me though, because I have some serious fucking game, in and out of the bedroom, and though some guys might have a bigger cock than me, very few bring my level of swag to the table. Sorry bitches, that’s why I’m the dick your girls and guys go to when they’re bored as shit with you, and they actually WANT to have sex.

I had an emotional breakdown because she caught me completely off guard on the best day I’d ever had with her, when I was in a state of utter bliss and love, in a public place, and she showed me fucking pictures. You fucking deal with that without having some feelings. If you don’t have any bad feelings from that, you’re dead inside. Yes, YOU bitch, you’re dead inside.

3) Just because you think you understand what emotional health looks like, does not make it so. You’re slinging around your experience as if it’s the gospel. You are one person. One. Your experience doesn’t scratch the surface of the range of human consciousness, let alone right and wrong. You’re seriously at a sociopathic level of Internet self-confidence if you think you can judge other people’s feelings as right and wrong.

If you think sex is a luxury and not a need, Fine, enjoy a miserable life. I am happy 90% of the time. I have my moments, but the vast majority of my life is very happy. Long term happiness is very much achievable, and yes, regular sex is a HUGE component of that. If you think it isn’t, you’re either lying to yourself or you are willing to accept unhappiness as a necessary part of life, which it most certainly is not.


In summary, I have emotions, and I talked about them freely in an Internet forum, which was unbelievably stupid of me, but I did. You bitches that commented on the other hand, are just that. Bitches trying to ostracize someone else for being vulnerable. That must be really sad.

Welp, time for my overly emotional ass to go get laid. What are you bitches doing tonight?

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Happy adjusted person without sex? You guys are fucking psychotic.

Human males NEED sex. Not want. NEED. It’s not something they’re entitled to, they have to earn it, and since they NEED it, most of us do.

You’re based in a puritanical horseshit frame of mind that says you can’t be happy all the time. You most certainly can.

I posted this because my primary caught me off guard with something that really penetrated my psyche. I didn’t post it because there’s something wrong with me. You guys then proceeded to jump on me as if there is something wrong with me for having emotions and some vulnerability. That’s okay. I feel sorry for all of you who can’t get off of your fat asses long enough to experience true emotions. You can continue to live vicariously through characters vulnerable artists create to entertain you as you sit in your living room.

1) read this article. It’s about a very in depth scientific study that found monogamous women lose all attraction for their male partners within 1-4 years, regardless of the situation. It’s science bitch.

Unexcited? There May Be a Pill for That

2) I know she’s had bigger dicks than me. All my FWBs have had and will continue to have sex with guys with bigger dicks than me. Not as often as they will have sex with me though, because I have some serious fucking game, in and out of the bedroom, and though some guys might have a bigger cock than me, very few bring my level of swag to the table. Sorry bitches, that’s why I’m the dick your girls and guys go to when they’re bored as shit with you, and they actually WANT to have sex.

I had an emotional breakdown because she caught me completely off guard on the best day I’d ever had with her, when I was in a state of utter bliss and love, in a public place, and she showed me fucking pictures. You fucking deal with that without having some feelings. If you don’t have any bad feelings from that, you’re dead inside. Yes, YOU bitch, you’re dead inside.

I don't need to run game on my wife just to get to sleep at night.

We all have feelings. The entire point of pretty much everyone's response to you is that you need to face your feelings instead of burying them under a mile of promiscuity. Not once in your posts have you mentioned talking with your girlfriend about what she did and why.

Your "I got game, bitches" line sounds like you're massively insecure. You get laid. Big deal. In my thirties I separated from my first wife and fucked everything that moved. Big deal. Grow up, sack up, and face the problem your girlfriend caused for you. Or don't. Nobody cares. We know you, we've been you. Then we grew up.

Bitch.

 

[MisterB]

OP: You had an emotional breakdown over the size of some random guy's dick that you don't know. Get off LPSG and go find yourself a competent therapist. Competent and experienced in sexual-related issues. Cuz if you don't get your mental state under control, what's gonna set you off next?

Seriously dude, your ramblings here are literally screams for help.

You are the one who started the thread. Kudos for your bravery to put yourself out there like you did. However, I think since your OP did not generate the responses you felt you were entitled to, your subsequent posts have become braggadocio. It's your coping mechanism. Like you say look at me, I'm now banging multiple chicks even though my main chick emotionally cuckolded me. Cuz dude, that's what she did. She got into your psyche, which is evidently quite fragile. You need to get some professional help.

You've been given some excellent advice here, but like so many internet LPSG warriors, you didn't hear what you wanted to. You need some serious therapy. You've got issues. Big time.

And please with the sex is a need and you are entitled. Bullshit.