sex with a man

East

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lately i've been wondering about my true sexual nature and whether I prefer men or women sexually. i'm just really confused about it, I have a girlfriend but I find myself fantasizing about having sex with another man. is this a sign that i'm gay? there is this friend of mine who i'm kind of interested in and he told me we could have sex when i'm ready. it's just that I don't know and i'm really confused about my sexuality.
 

Leung

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The only way you could really know is if you try it. However, I don't think that you should either rush into it, or do it when you are still in a relationship with someone.
 

East

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well, the "relationship" with my girlfriend isn't that strong, so I don't know where it's going to go. as for my friend, he told me he always had a thing for me sexually, and to be honest, i've always wondered what sex with him might be like. I would like to do it, but i'm not sure of my own sexuality.
 

Alley Blue

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Originally posted by East@Apr 5 2005, 11:28 PM
well, the "relationship" with my girlfriend isn't that strong, so I don't know where it's going to go. as for my friend, he told me he always had a thing for me sexually, and to be honest, i've always wondered what sex with him might be like. I would like to do it, but i'm not sure of my own sexuality.
[post=297420]Quoted post[/post]​

How old are u and him? Have you been friends for a long time? Do you two just plan to hook up for a blow job or do you want to bottom or perhaps do you want him to bottom for you......just wondering....
 

B_RoysToy

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The answer to this might depend on how much you "have always" wondered how sex with your friend might be like, East. If it has just crossed your mind a few times it's not like thinking about it often, especially while masturbating. Since your relationship with your girl friend isn't that "strong", I think it would be doing her a disservice to mislead her while you harbor these thoughts about your true sexual nature.

As Leung stated, the only way to really know is to try it. If you get into it and know beyond a doubt that it's not for you, you'll become a better partner for your girl friend -- if you find it pleasurable and 'your thing', the sooner the better for both you and her.

I wish you well, my friend, and pray you'll do what's right for you. Unless you're willing to give up years of happiness, find out as soon as you can.
 

East

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Originally posted by alleyblu+Apr 5 2005, 05:03 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(alleyblu &#064; Apr 5 2005, 05:03 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-East@Apr 5 2005, 11:28 PM
well, the "relationship" with my girlfriend isn&#39;t that strong, so I don&#39;t know where it&#39;s going to go.  as for my friend, he told me he always had a thing for me sexually, and to be honest, i&#39;ve always wondered what sex with him might be like.  I would like to do it, but i&#39;m not sure of my own sexuality.
[post=297420]Quoted post[/post]​

How old are u and him? Have you been friends for a long time? Do you two just plan to hook up for a blow job or do you want to bottom or perhaps do you want him to bottom for you......just wondering....
[post=297431]Quoted post[/post]​
[/b][/quote]


i&#39;m going to be 19 soon, he&#39;s 20 and we&#39;ve known each other for several years. i&#39;m interested in having him bottom me and a blow job, i&#39;m very interested to find out what it feels like. i&#39;d like to experiment and explore with him, but does this make me gay? I never thought of myself as gay up until it crossed my mind about a month ago.
 

East

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we&#39;re very close friends and we&#39;re open to talk about anything that we need help with, we&#39;re always there for each other. about three months ago is when I started to get a slight sexual attraction to him, we shower together at the gym and we&#39;re completely fine with seeing each other naked, I mean it&#39;s not a big deal to us. but lately when I see him naked I can help but stare at his body (he does have a very nice body) and I get a sexual thrill from it and wonder what it would be like to have sex with him and since i&#39;m not sure of my sexual preference I definitely would like to experiment and explore with him. he&#39;s bi and is aware of my sexual attraction to his body. i&#39;m glad he&#39;s understanding of what I desire and i&#39;m glad that he&#39;s willing to experiment with me. I probably will experiment with him soon and from there i&#39;ll decide what I enjoy and dislike.
 

jonb

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Well, you fantasize about men. Do you fantasize about women as well? If you do, you&#39;re fine. If you don&#39;t, you&#39;re still fine, but what you&#39;re doing to your girlfriend is totally unfair.
 

woskxn

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dont worry..dont label yourself.

Nobody is 100% straight, or 100% gay, we are all a combination of those things. So if there is a part of you that wants to have sex with a guy, or at least try it..then dont worry, just do it.
 

madame_zora

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I think the important thing is not whether you label yourself as gay or straight right now, but put forth some effort into finding out what/whom you are attracted to. If your relationship with your g/f is not strong and you are thinking of experimenting elsewhere, it&#39;s not really the point that it&#39;s with a man. I&#39;d let her down easy, and then find someone you do feel more strongly for. Wanting to experiment doesn&#39;t necessarily mean you&#39;re gay, but at 19, now&#39;s a good time to find out a little more about yourself.
I think it would be a good idea to check out the site suggested and give yourself room to grow. We&#39;re here to ask questions along the way if we can help. Best of luck&#33; Jana
 
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13788

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Originally posted by Dr Rock@Apr 5 2005, 07:25 PM
why does it matter? just do what you want to do. there&#39;s nothing to be gained by sticking labels on yourself for the sake of it, and there&#39;s certainly nothing to be gained by trying to "identify" with anyone except yourself.
[post=297442]Quoted post[/post]​

Ditto.

Dr. Rock has it right. Follow your heart and your head (both of them ;)). I&#39;ve never understood people&#39;s fixation on classifying themselves, their sexuality and every other aspect of their being. Live life, do what makes you happy and ignore the world if it has something negative to say about you.
 

yaoifun

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I say go for it. Just be safe. The worst that can happen is that you don&#39;t enjoy it, and then it will be that much clearer to you of how your oriented.
 

Alley Blue

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[/quote]
i&#39;m going to be 19 soon, he&#39;s 20 and we&#39;ve known each other for several years. i&#39;m interested in having him bottom me and a blow job,
[post=297434]Quoted post[/post]​
[/quote]

Have your ever fooled around with him or anyone else before? When you say "bottom me" are you interested in simply what it feels like to be the bottom/recieving end?

By the way I find your situation pretty fascinating :)
 
D

deleted111

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Awwwwww, the dreaded bi-sexuality card has been played on the table. My apologies, I don&#39;t presume to say you are bi-sexual.....but it paints an interesting picture as to where you go now. In my own experience, I always "kind of" had a thing for guys but I didnt know what to make of it. I found them to be more interesting then girls and have a better body frame for at least what I liked to label as "eye candy". When I look back, I had a girlfriend when I was 16 yo that didn&#39;t end on the best terms.....I had issues with throwing up LOL but my actual first day of coming out and admitting to the world that I was gay happened in November of 1997 when I was at college to one of my closest friends who just happend to be gay. Shocking I know&#33;

I think the only way you will know for sure is to try. If you decide you want to I think that you shouldn&#39;t be in a relationship with anyone nor do I think you should try to "hookup" with anyone either. I think you should try to meat errrrr meet :) someone and see if you actually like the aspects of them through casual conversation and even some flirting. If you meet for a date and enjoy the aspects of being with a guy then try having another date or go for the bedroom if that is what you desire. Just be careful and be sure you know what your doing, some roads are difficult to come back from if you aren&#39;t sure you should be on them in the first place. Do you think my parents would react oddly if I suddenly walked up to them and said, "Mom....Dad.....I&#39;m not gay anymore&#33;" They would probably have me committed to an asylum.

Just make sure you are happy, do whatever you want to do but make sure its what you want. Don&#39;t be afraid of anyone else or hold back your true feelings whether gay, straight, bi, etc......


Nate
 

Lex

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Figuring yourself out (Often BY yourself) is not easy and actually thinking about and analyzing your motivations for having such feelings and behaviors is underrated. Read some good literature, be safe, ask questions--we&#39;re here if you need us.
 

HebrewNational

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Here I am 47 and going through something similar. I am, most definitely bi-sexual. No question in my mind. I am fortunate in that I find so many people sexually attractive.

My problem is that I have feelings which I do not share with anyone, especially my nearest and dearest. When I feel the urge for male companionship (about once a month) i go to the local adult book store and find someone(almost anyone) with whom I can j.o.

Wouldn&#39;t it be more
honest and healthier to
declare myself and engage in a "proper" m/m relationship? But how/what do I tell my wife of 26 years?

You are so lucky to be confronting this
now, at your age, at this time in societal development.

Good luck
 

B_RoysToy

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Originally posted by HebrewNational@Apr 6 2005, 09:33 PM
Here I am 47 and going through something similar. I am, most definitely bi-sexual. No question in my mind. I am fortunate in that I find so many people sexually attractive.

My problem is that I have feelings which I do not share with anyone, especially my nearest and dearest. When I feel the urge for male companionship (about once a month) i go to the local adult book store and find someone(almost anyone) with whom I can j.o.

Wouldn&#39;t it be more
honest and healthier to
declare myself and engage in a "proper" m/m relationship? But how/what do I tell my wife of 26 years?

You are so lucky to be confronting this
now, at your age, at this time in societal development.

Good luck
[post=297707]Quoted post[/post]​
HebrewNational: The "26 years" jumped out at me while reading your post. My marriage lasted 29 years. Lots of us go through what you&#39;re experiencing now. I&#39;ve told my story on LPSG so many times I don&#39;t wanna take up more space doing it, but if you would like talking about your situation, feel free&#33;

Luke (akaRoysToy)
 

East

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okay, I called him today and told him I am ready to try it. so I think tomorrow is when we will experiment and try certain things, I am really excited but also kind of nervous because this is new to me. he said we can experiment for as long as I want and that if I don&#39;t feel comfortable then we can stop, so that is reassuring. i&#39;m really looking forward to it, do you guys have any tips or advice?