being in my middle 50s i'm of the generation who had no gay role models as I grew up, and was very naïve, didn't even know the term 'gay' and we were taught that it was very common for young men growing up to develop a bit of a 'man crush' on other older guys - a kind of hero worship - but that we'd grow out of it. So knew nothing better. Plus grew up in a small town in rural devon in a Pentecostal Christian family. So I naturally started dating girls from age 15. Had sex with a girlfriend who let me have sex with her on my 16th birthday, it was ok but not 'earth shattering' . We had sex several times but not well. I dated a couple of other girls and also had sex with them and whilst I may have got 'better' at it, it never felt quite right. Only when I reached 21, on a summer holiday job whilst at uni I met a guy just a bit older than me, who looking back clearly knew what I was and took me through to having man on man sex with him. That was a lightbulb time and I realised what I had been missing, it felt right and I felt alive for the first time. And not gone back to girls since (for sex that is, I have lots of girl friends). It would be interesting to know if other guys my age had similar experiences?