Sex With Friends: Does it Ever Work?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rocky14441, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. Rocky14441

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    I've had a couple of friends over the years that I just couldn't keep my hands off of.

    We'd start with a massage (I have a table), then they'd get a boner, then before you know it we'd be going at it.

    We'd start with taking a couple of pictures, then I'd ask them if they wanted a nude portrait, and before you know it...

    We'd hop in my jacuzzi, lie out naked on the lawn, and before you know it...

    How many of you out there have these experiences? Do you hold onto the firendships after this happens? Am I a minipulative jerk who uses his friends, or just a guy with minimal boundaries who likes to have fun?

    This has caused some friction on the past (pun intended), but on the whole, most of these guys and gals are still my friends.

    Am I the only one? (Doubt it!)
     
  2. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

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    It can work in the right situation... my oldest friend and I would do about the same thing... but we both knew what the score was. We both wanted to get off. We enjoyed each others company, laughed, "acted a fool", etc. But we both knew it wasn't love.... we were just horny. The sex was great... massages, oral, me topping him,skinnydipping any chance we got, some kinky stuff. So I'd say as long as both parties know that its just two friends in a comfortable situation getting off on each other, what's the harm ?
     
  3. Silvertip

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    Most of the men and a few of the women that I have had casual sex with right after meeting them have remained good friends. I think the gender difference here relates to the "minimal boundaries" and liking to have casual sexual fun being much more a male characteristic than a female one. Most of the women I've had "no strings" relationships with ultimately tried to fasten strings, which is a deal killer for me.
     
  4. ths1973

    ths1973 New Member

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    a lot of gay guys make friends through sex... pretty normal... and just a part of socializing, I suppose... it depends on how well you can compartamentalize.
     
  5. Rocky14441

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    Yeah, it's wierd, but the hardest time I've had is with guys or girls who wanted to have sex and I set a boundary and said no, supposedly to protect the friendship. Some of these have ended in anger and disconnection.
    It almost seems easier sometimes to just go at it, get it over with, so we can relax and just be friends.
    Life is frakin' wierd.
     
  6. Wish-4-8

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    Maybe it is different with gay sex, but in the heteral world, I would say no. Once the line is crossed, things always change.

    You could flirt, play around, and things would stay cool. But once sex enters the picture, it is either going to turn into something positive, or the beginning of the end.

    I have never stayed friends with anybody I have had sex with. It just never works out. Sex ruins relationships. (at least for me it does)
     
  7. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I've had friends that I've ended up having sex with.

    Usually, once we started, that's what we did when we got together; we stayed in and had sex and had more sex until it was time to go.

    We seldom got dressed and went anyplace together. We'd bring food and drink over to each others houses, and we'd get naked and fuck, then eat, then fuck some more.

    So I can't say that I had well-rounded friendships that sex was a part of. We would go from friendly acquaintances to fuck buddies to drifting apart.
     
  8. rbkwp

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    Took 18 years and a Str8 (not really-by his own admission--he had spent 6 years in an all male boarding school) mate came around for a full on everything eventually
    (and i was not trying to nab him-just had the hots plus respect for him)
    He ackowledged we both knew where i stood as per sexuality .. but admitted he wished he took me up on any subtle advances earlier,,citing that 'he was shy' (at the time)
    NO WORRIEs..we shared some xtra GOOD times for several years.
    He 4 Kids later .. after i first knew him
    enz
    How many of you out there have these experiences? Do you hold onto the firendships after this happens? Am I a minipulative jerk who uses his friends, or just a guy with minimal boundaries who likes to have fun?
    OP . No! i reckon yr enjoying life' with yr friends .. reciprocation and YES'we are still the very best of friends.
     
  9. killerb

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    I've only had sex with one friend...we remained close, but stopped having sex after the 3rd or 4th time...she got involved w/ some other guy...they eventually got married...

    I have a male friend who WANTS me to have sex w/ him, but it's not gonna happen..
     
  10. jjsjr

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    Definitely agree.... and in the Gay community, friends with benefits are far more common if not expected. I have had sex with a friend and its an unspoken truth between the two of us, the reveal could destroy a friendship. But, things are fine at the moment.

    The Gay community tends to be far more liberal about sexual encounters than the hetero- counterparts.
     
  11. Wish-4-8

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    That is so cool that you can do that. Sex with out female B.S. I have heard from gay friends that gays tend to have more fun because of this. Imagine, two people after the same thing, with a guy mentality. Must be awesome.

    I just like females too much. If they could only think like guys.
     
  12. vergax

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    It happens in my world, also, I am 100% heterosexual and I have had sex with almost all my female friends (I think only4-5 i have not done). It works perfectly as long as honesty is upright, I tell them before hand what is it at stake, that i feel attracted to have sex with them once or many times but chances are that we will never be in love. Some of them I am sure gave me sex to become more than friends, but it didn't work for them because I didn't cross the line.
    Happily I count most of them as true friends until now, many are married and with children, so I no longer mess with them sexually. But sex never destroyed our friendship, in fact it renewed it and made it more intimate because we shared many things on bed talking afterwards.

    I prefer friends to serious loving M-F relationships, they are fun, sincere and can be deep, also.
     
  13. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    Did that one time with a close friend. He is better off as a friend not a play mate.
     
  14. laissez faire

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    The only guy I do anything with regularly is a friend, and has been for many years. I'm not sure I could do what we do if he wasn't; the trust factor is too important for both of us. We'd still be friends if we didn't have sex, but we wouldn't have sex if we weren't friends first.
     
  15. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    From this read, it seems like a gay thing only. I dont know if many girls can live in the friends with benefits world too long...and straight guys bend and flop both ways on the topic too. Eventually someone is going to cop feeling in the straight world.
     
  16. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I had two female fuckbuddies back in the day, although I don't remember hearing that phrase until more recently. But, as we can say about so many things, that was the 70s, and things were different then ... <a small tear forms in the corner of one of Kris' eyes>
     
  17. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    Haha. My mom was the 70s...I can barley be counted in the 80s.
     
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