Sex with Friends

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likespineapple

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Sorry for the novel. Just thinking out loud, here.

So, I've known this girl since a little before last winter. We lived in the same dorm in college. She's a Senior now and I just graduated. We met through her best friend and we both share a lot of mutual friends. We live 2 hours apart and I still visit somewhat regularly because most of my friends are still in school.

I find her very attractive and she is a very sweet girl. There is a lot of mutually respect between us, and I think the attraction is mutual too. We are by no means best friends, but we always dance together at bars and have a lot of fun.

We've kept in touch through text and she told me she likes this boy, but he isn't making any moves on her. They have only made out once and he's spent the night a few times. They've been studying together and hanging out for quite a long time, about as long as I've known her and I think if he was interested in her, there would be more there.

We were talking about him not doing anything, and I told her that I would've made out with her multiple times by now. She wasn't offended, it was through text so I couldn't assess her facial expression. Also, she has said to me that she doesn't have sex with randoms and that I would be proud of her to my face. Gives me an idea that she is somewhat open minded and comfortable with me.

I certainly don't want to get in between them, but I definitely would like to get physical with her as friends. I think it would be a lot of fun, mutual satisfaction.

Anyway, I'm sort of thinking my way through casually bringing up, "Hey, if this guy doesn't make his move, Ithink it would be fun if got naked. y/n?" BASICALLY... I don't think it would be that often, due to distance. More than once for sure.
Here is the kicker, I casually dated one of her friends, whom got back with her ex. We don't hate each other and there are no hard feelings. I wouldn't be doing this to get back at her. I promise. I don't think it would be a deal breaker to be honest.

Would like to hear some guy's opinions of this! But ladies, if you feel compelled to answer, you can pm me or something?

Good idea, bad idea? Questions, comments, snotty remarks?
 
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giantsfrey

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if you can make a move without sounding like a creepy douche, why not? it doesn't seem like there's anything to lose--she's far away and you don't see her much. she's probably just not into you though, which is why nothing ever happened in the past. you may be in the friend zone
 
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likespineapple

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if you can make a move without sounding like a creepy douche, why not? it doesn't seem like there's anything to lose--she's far away and you don't see her much. she's probably just not into you though, which is why nothing ever happened in the past. you may be in the friend zone
Yeah, that's basically my conclusion too. But I did date her friend for a bit, which is why nothing ever happened and why I'm a little hesitant. It wouldn't be about that girl though, she doesn't need to know...

But this girl is attracted to me, confirmed. My best friend just told me a story, he brought me up in a conversation with her and he noted that her facial tint changed to something more red. She's hesitant about her friend and I too.
 
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185248

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First of all, crap you be a young fella:) Is it your cock talking and doing the thinking or your head? If there is no arranged or permanent attachment between her and her partner then I see no reason why you should not test the water. You are right when you express your thoughts regarding text and not viewing body language.

Sex text is crap, it is only good in novels. If you wish to get to the nitty gritty, eye to eye. It usually answers all of your questions.

By the way, never apologise in advance for expressing your feelings, and or thoughts. If you are capable of expressing them honestly, possess the confidence for public opinion then you are the one that should be thanked. Congrats.
 
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likespineapple

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First of all, crap you be a young fella:) Is it your cock talking and doing the thinking or your head?
haha, maybe a bit of both. At least I'm thinking about what my cock wants and of course, what she wants as well.

Sex text is crap, it is only good in novels. If you wish to get to the nitty gritty, eye to eye. It usually answers all of your questions.
I agree, I would really like to discuss this in person. Unfortunately I won't be able to see her for quite some time, I just had surgery on my leg. So my best bet is through text at the moment, which in all honesty, I think she will respond positively to, if I word it correctly.

I'm not going to put any expectations on it, just going to bluntly express interest for now and see if she reciprocates.
 
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185248

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haha, maybe a bit of both. At least I'm thinking about what my cock wants and of course, what she wants as well.


I agree, I would really like to discuss this in person. Unfortunately I won't be able to see her for quite some time, I just had surgery on my leg. So my best bet is through text at the moment, which in all honesty, I think she will respond positively to, if I word it correctly.

I'm not going to put any expectations on it, just going to bluntly express interest for now and see if she reciprocates.


Procceding forward with a blind eye, yet one foot in front of the other is the way to go. Is how some of the worlds best creations are formed. Do not be hasty for a conclusion.

Hope your leg heals well pineapple.
 

LeftCoast

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So you just want a casual physical relationship with her? That's what I'm hearing from you. That would be the end of your friendship. It will either lead to something more or something less. You won't be able to go back to where you were.

That being said, if you want to start something up, try flirting, just as you would with any other person.
 
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likespineapple

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So you just want a casual physical relationship with her? That's what I'm hearing from you. That would be the end of your friendship. It will either lead to something more or something less. You won't be able to go back to where you were.

That being said, if you want to start something up, try flirting, just as you would with any other person.
I think it can be done, if we are both honest with each other and ourselves, don't you think? Certainly there will quite a bit of communication outlining boundaries, expectations, etc. before we do the deed(s). Just friendly sex? Who knows. Maybe that's naive.

We live two hours away at the moment and won't see each other for maybe three months. Sort of a key issues.
 
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D_Bobby_Saux

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I had an awesome FWB. She was for 2 plus years a real good friend. I met her family, ate dinner out with them, visited casinos as well. Her and I went to concerts, comedy club, drinks, and we had sex every 2 weeks or so. I spent the night at her place twice, she spent the night at my place a dozen times. . She loved for me to cum on her face if in missionary, doggy on her butt and back, she would swallow sometimes. When I changed jobs we just didn't get to see each other as much and grew apart. I really miss her
 

dragon_9

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NOOOOOOOO DOOOOON'T!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: It's a rare girl that can be a fwb, but she could be the girl of your dreams. If you are not open to the possibility of something deeper please proceed with caution. Speaking from experience.:frown1:
 

NC_BBC

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I think it can be done, if we are both honest with each other and ourselves, don't you think? Certainly there will quite a bit of communication outlining boundaries, expectations, etc. before we do the deed(s). Just friendly sex? Who knows. Maybe that's naive.

We live two hours away at the moment and won't see each other for maybe three months. Sort of a key issues.

I dont know where this has gone in 2 weeks, but trust me...the guy who said "It'll either become something more or something less" was absolutely right. I've had too many girls agree to something "casual" but a few weeks in start demanding or expecting more. Once the oxytocin starts flowing....all bets are off. I even had a situation where I allowed HER to establish the "rules and guidlines" only to have HER break all of them in an attempt to force the situation into something more. After about the 3rd cycle of this I realized....most women my age can't have that type of relationship....after a few physical encounters the hormones take over and all those rules get thrown out the window and someone gets hurt. And as much as I like casual sex....I dont like hurting anyone, so I abandoned the pursuit for thise types of relationships.
 
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NC_BBC

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NOOOOOOOO DOOOOON'T!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: It's a rare girl that can be a fwb, but she could be the girl of your dreams. If you are not open to the possibility of something deeper please proceed with caution. Speaking from experience.:frown1:

Please listen to Dragon on this one. One of my "casual" situations turned out to be one of the most poetic and deep personalities I've ever met. But I didnt take the time to really get to know her back then because of what I THOUGHT our situations was....
 

Over-reaching

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As you like this girl, proceed with a bit of caution. FWB relationships can work, and they're great when they do, but it's very common that one party (usually the woman) ends up wanting more. As such, if you really just want a FWB arrangement, then you've got to be prepared to end it with no hard feelings when that happens. That's fine when it's simply a fuck-friend type arrangement, but if you're friends with the girl it's much harder to end the sex but keep the friendship. That's not to say that it can never be done, but it's usually not possible.

All of that sort-of sums up my experiences anyway.