Sex with my (bi) male neighbour

[Geohazard]

Your friend needs a therapist. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judgemental about his situation, as I've been there (minus the fwb part, that would have been bitchin'). He clearly has some issues and needs professional help to overcome his blindness to her abuse, and help to find the told he needs to stand up for himself.

 

[Luckyboy1983]

Your friend needs a therapist. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judgemental about his situation, as I've been there (minus the fwb part, that would have been bitchin'). He clearly has some issues and needs professional help to overcome his blindness to her abuse, and help to find the told he needs to stand up for himself.

Be my guest to tell him that.
Tried whatever I could to make him see that.
But he needs to run with his head against the wall first.
He will realise it, sooner or later.

 

[Geohazard]

If I knew your friend, I would, with personal testimony. It's a shame most people in his place aren't willing to stand up for themselves, for a variety of different reasons. Having a kid makes it especially rough. Good luck, buddy.

 

[One-Hot-Mess]

You already have started to destroy his relationship doing what you already started.. Maybe you need to move.

 

[Luckyboy1983]

You already have started to destroy his relationship doing what you already started.. Maybe you need to move.

If I were you, I would read the full story.
It's clear u have a "judgement" about me without knowing the facts / story.
First of all, I didn't start anything.
It was him who started things.
Yeah, maybe I'm guilty to be the one who allowed it,
but I never took / take the first steps.
And I'm not the one destorying anything.
It's HIM who comes to ME.
Not the other way around.
Big difference! And if he says he wants to stop "playing" with me,
I'll gladly respect that. As I said, I'm not after him, never was.
Only enjoying what he offers me, or wants me to offer him, fun, blow steam off,
giving him whatn his girlfriend doens't, a shoulder to cry on
and a ear to listen to his complaints and sorrows.
And let me be clear about everything, there is NO love involved between us.
Not from MY side and not from HIS side.
And if it ever blows up, I'm certainly not the one who's going to move anywhere.
I'm certainly not the one who did anything wrong.

 

[talktalk54321]

poor guy, at least he can get off with you. i think it's great. keep it up.

imagine if you were only allowed to eat your meals with one person your whole life... and then after a while that other person stopped wanting to eat with you, leaving you the only option of eating alone. and then if you dare to eat with someone else, you're the bad person. that would be messed up.

 

[Sexb1150]

You already have started to destroy his relationship doing what you already started.. Maybe you need to move.

Yeah, this was pretty judgmental. Why should he move?

Is this situation on the up and up? No it's not. That said, we don't live in a perfect of world of black and white, there are shades of gray. This is one of them. The friend is not getting what he should be getting from his partner and so he goes elsewhere. And apparently it's not just sex he isn't getting.

And if she thinks she can keep treating him like shit and believing he won't look elsewhere for comfort, she's an idiot.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Sounds like your neighbor took it in the ass BB, took the load and want more. Keep going, it’s going to blow up at some point anyways.

 

[Sexb1150]

Sounds like your neighbor took it in the ass BB, took the load and want more. Keep going, it’s going to blow up at some point anyways.

You responded to me, not the op.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Oh well. I think everyone got the idea.

 

[Luckyboy1983]

poor guy, at least he can get off with you. i think it's great. keep it up.

imagine if you were only allowed to eat your meals with one person your whole life... and then after a while that other person stopped wanting to eat with you, leaving you the only option of eating alone. and then if you dare to eat with someone else, you're the bad person. that would be messed up.

Thank u I appreciate the support.
And it's all true what u say.

Yeah, this was pretty judgmental. Why should he move?

Is this situation on the up and up? No it's not. That said, we don't live in a perfect of world of black and white, there are shades of gray. This is one of them. The friend is not getting what he should be getting from his partner and so he goes elsewhere. And apparently it's not just sex he isn't getting.

And if she thinks she can keep treating him like shit and believing he won't look elsewhere for comfort, she's an idiot.

You at least understand what it all is about.
Thank u for your reaction.

 

[One-Hot-Mess]

If I were you, I would read the full story.
It's clear u have a "judgement" about me without knowing the facts / story.
First of all, I didn't start anything.
It was him who started things.
Yeah, maybe I'm guilty to be the one who allowed it,
but I never took / take the first steps.
And I'm not the one destorying anything.
It's HIM who comes to ME.
Not the other way around.
Big difference! And if he says he wants to stop "playing" with me,
I'll gladly respect that. As I said, I'm not after him, never was.
Only enjoying what he offers me, or wants me to offer him, fun, blow steam off,
giving him whatn his girlfriend doens't, a shoulder to cry on
and a ear to listen to his complaints and sorrows.
And let me be clear about everything, there is NO love involved between us.
Not from MY side and not from HIS side.
And if it ever blows up, I'm certainly not the one who's going to move anywhere.
I'm certainly not the one who did anything wrong.

I did read the whole story. What I meant by my remark. Be Careful.. Today you never know what someone else would do. Not saying him but his girlfriend. Never piss off anyone these days. You never ever know what someone will do for revenge. I have been is a close event has this. It ended badly and lucky I had to close the door. We are still good friends by internet only.

 

[Sexb1150]

I did read the whole story. What I meant by my remark. Be Careful.. Today you never know what someone else would do. Not saying him but his girlfriend. Never piss off anyone these days. You never ever know what someone will do for revenge. I have been is a close event has this. It ended badly and lucky I had to close the door. We are still good friends by internet only.

Yeah this reads much better than your original post and it's actually good advice.

 

[Luckyboy1983]

I did read the whole story. What I meant by my remark. Be Careful.. Today you never know what someone else would do. Not saying him but his girlfriend. Never piss off anyone these days. You never ever know what someone will do for revenge. I have been is a close event has this. It ended badly and lucky I had to close the door. We are still good friends by internet only.

I do not think it would end "badly" for me.
I think it would end badly for him.
I'm currently 100% sure now, SHE is waiting for him to slip up,
to make a mistake and finally get rid of him.
And he tries to do everything in his power to keep her satisfied.
Which is wrong, told him too. But, his choices.
I'm sure she even wouldn't blame or take revenge on me.
As long as she got "rid" of him.
It's very clear she doesn't care a lot about him.

 

[figgnewton]

I'm assuming it's HIS daughter? I'd strongly recommend he get a DNA test to verify. If it's not his, advise him to RUN, not walk away.

If it is his, your current situation may be what makes it possible for him to stay there with his daughter, despite not really filling much of a positive father role.

Keep doing what you are doing, and leave it to him how to proceed. I'd definitely advise the DNA test. Women like that keep a simp to take care of them, but have affairs with alphas. If she's not getting it from him, she's getting it from somewhere.

Good Luck

I think you are correct in finding out if she is his daughter ( if in fact she is. You never said) . She's a control freak and you should of left her a long time ago if you weren't getting sex from her and her being over bearing. She probably is getting sex some place else or maybe in fact she's sexless now OR maybe she has a girlfriend. I'd leave. Why stay in a bad relationship. RUN !! You owe her nothing. We all need to be appreciated and respected. Sadly you got yourself in this mess only you can remedy this. Good luck.

 

[Husker83]

He needs a backbone and some balls. He's letting the girl get rotten and wife set a horrible example. Instead of standing up to her they codependently string each other along and he uses you for sexual release. He'll never commit to you or her unless he mans up and she will do nothing for him. Meanwhile a child is in a broken home with parents who happen to both live there. I'd hate to still be her neighbor if she finds out and he's kicked out (though I bet he makes all money the house is prob in her name). Yikes!

 

[brandon38]

Gosh this hard one for him and you just be careful sound like he happy with this set up you guys have but can understand both side .

 

[One-Hot-Mess]

You already have started to destroy his relationship doing what you already started.. Maybe you need to move.

I really think if you moved. You could both see the future. He will have time alone to think of his life where he belongs. Or maybe he will come knocking on your door for a true friendship.

 

[Luckyboy1983]

I think you are correct in finding out if she is his daughter ( if in fact she is. You never said) . She's a control freak and you should of left her a long time ago if you weren't getting sex from her and her being over bearing. She probably is getting sex some place else or maybe in fact she's sexless now OR maybe she has a girlfriend. I'd leave. Why stay in a bad relationship. RUN !! You owe her nothing. We all need to be appreciated and respected. Sadly you got yourself in this mess only you can remedy this. Good luck.

She is 100% his daughter.
He just doesn't have a bond with her like a father should.
Just because the daughter hates him too, because of mom setting her up to him.

He needs a backbone and some balls. He's letting the girl get rotten and wife set a horrible example. Instead of standing up to her they codependently string each other along and he uses you for sexual release. He'll never commit to you or her unless he mans up and she will do nothing for him. Meanwhile a child is in a broken home with parents who happen to both live there. I'd hate to still be her neighbor if she finds out and he's kicked out (though I bet he makes all money the house is prob in her name). Yikes!

The house was hers long before they got to know each other.
She has every right to throw him out if she wants.
In fact I'm still surprised why it takes this long...
Thou indeed, he makes the money at home and spents most on both.
And obviously doesn't get much respect in return.

Gosh this hard one for him and you just be careful sound like he happy with this set up you guys have but can understand both side .

I am careful.
And let me be clear again, I didn't start this.
I just gave into it.
I am not after him, in any way.
It's only fun, as friends with benefits.
If he says we're done, den we're done.
Won't shed a tear for that.

I really think if you moved. You could both see the future. He will have time alone to think of his life where he belongs. Or maybe he will come knocking on your door for a true friendship.

Again, it's not up to me to move.
I was living here the longest anyway.
Been living here for 15y...
They been living there for 13y.
We have true friendship.
And I understand you too.
But moving away ain't an option.
Or do u think houses are free to grab? lol.

 

[chrisrobin]

One day it'll work itself out, if you both enjoy the fun and the sex without strings.
Lots of guys like you out there who have a bi neighbor - usually a nice guy who got married to save face and appease the family. Your guy does sound like he's a slave to her and out to please - perhaps too much.
A while ago my ex lived next to a guy and his wife. They knew we were gay but that didn't stop socializing.
We had just returned from Egypt when my ex went down with some bug and ended up in isolation in hospital. Needless to say I was doing the daily visits etc and living alone in the house. One night next door came round after his shift finished - he's a firefighter - to ask how things were. A few drinks later and he's saying things and making it obvious he wanted to have sex with me - being red-blooded and not having had sex for 2 weeks I was horny. Not only was he a good kisser and cock sucker but he fucked as good as he took - that was one long hot raunchy night. When he left I asked if his wife would wonder where he'd been, but no, she was with her mother for a few days.
When I got back next day her car was there, we continued to socialize but it only happened once.
The event never even came up in despatches
The point is some guys need to put on a normal face to the world rather than face being saddled with what they see as a demeaning label.

The funny thing is I don't think I'd even thought about this guy for a few years, for me it had been a one-off. Yes now I can recall his cock and body and his versatility and really wondered why I never followed through.
The relationship I was in ended a couple of years down the line and I was a free agent, I should have at least looked them up.
It just so happened that I was in the area this week and I drove by. A young couple working in the garden so I stopped and chatted. Yes I used to know the fireman who used to live there etc etc etc. turned out he was now divorced. Did they know where they were living? The guy went indoors and came back with an address for John, the fuck fireman, and a telephone number.
When I got home I rang but there was no answer, I'll ring again another day I thought
But then that night the phone went. "Saw this number had rung and wnderwed who it was" was the opening line and an hour later we were still chatting and going to get together in the near future.