Sex with my boyfriend, gay.

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by InTheZone, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. InTheZone

    InTheZone New Member

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    OK, so I have been in a LTR for over 5 years. My boyfriend and I have never been with anyone else, in regards to anal sex. He is was my first, and only in all sexual areas. He has made out and fooled around with another guy.

    Well I have taken the "bottom" position and he loves his "top" position. My boyfriend does not like being "topped", I haven't done it in a few years. Also, I have never been able to "finish" in him. He was "topped" me for years, and almost always finishes in me.

    I have brought it up to him several times, and he says, "Well I don't like it" or "If you keep giving it up, then we can talk about you "topping me""

    I know that he doesn't like it, but I really, REALLY want to top. I like my role, but I am totally wanting to "top"...I mean my boyfriend is hot, and has a hot muscle butt.

    Has anyone ever had a situation like this?

    I love my bf, and I love having sex with him.....but I don't know what to do about wanting to top him, after all I am a gay man. Receiving anal sex is only part of the "gay" sex.
     
  2. shotinstar

    shotinstar Member

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    Sorry to hear that, and I'm sorry to say your boyfriend is selfish, maybe a little.
    I think both party should make an effort, and I think you have done your part.
     
  3. B_boynextdoorkpt

    B_boynextdoorkpt New Member

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    Sorry about that, I agree with Elol, maybe your bf is selfish, or maybe he assumed all along that you knew he would never bottom. Some gay men are just as sensitive about their ass as a straight man, meaing NO ENTERING over it.
     
  4. Gay Joe

    Gay Joe New Member

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    I am the bottom in our relationship and enjoy it very much. I top my man maybe once a year (if I am lucky) I find that my role is bottom and I am happy with that. My man does not care to be bottom because my cock is a little big for him and he is not use to it. Try to remember how it was the 1st time to be bottom, I am sure it was a bit uncomfortable but your arse got use to it. For you partner it is the fist time every time since it is so rare for him to be bottom. I hope for your relationship sake you are able to except it the way it is. But if you get to top him at time enjoy it.
     
  5. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

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    Versatile sex is hot. Maybe he is not comfortable with the thoughts of being a bottom. It wasn't for me until someone showed me how to do it right. Now I love trading roles while getting it on. Maybe start with little steps like rimming or finger play....talk to him and find out what you can do to make this work for the both of you. Take it slow and help him become more comfortable with the idea of anal sex. It is worth the wait!
     
  6. B_AZBiGuy

    B_AZBiGuy New Member

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    Tell him that if he doesn't at least give bottoming the "old college try", you should get to find someone who will let you top them. (Even if you aren't serious.) Maybe that'll scare him into trying it... :)

    Boy do I like to stir the pot...
     
  7. psidom

    Gold Member

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    don't give him any...until he begs you to fuck his ass.
    then after you both have your orgasms and are in a better mood
    talk about exchanging roles more often,

    he may feel ashamed if he bottomed for you,like he is "less" of a man.
    in that case i bet you would be happier elsewhere.
    just a thought.
     
  8. shotinstar

    shotinstar Member

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    psidom: that's a good point.
    Don't give him your ass either!!
     
  9. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

    D_Theophallus Kneedgroin Account Disabled

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    you can say that again!!
     
  10. thebends0409

    thebends0409 New Member

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    Not everyone is wired up to be a bottom. I've been with my bf for just about a year. He really wants to eff me but it just isn't going to happen. We've tried a couple times, but I cant make it work.
     
  11. DiegoID

    DiegoID New Member

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    I tried that "no Sex until I get what I want" method. It didn't work, all that happened is that all our sex life was put on hold. I was the one who was feeling um.. subordinate, and wanted a more equitable role. Now we don't have anal at all.

    Hopefully someones got an answer to this question that actually works.
     
  12. Gay Joe

    Gay Joe New Member

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    Be happy with what you have!!!
     
  13. Gogiboy1

    Gogiboy1 New Member

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    Relationships are give & take on BOTH Parts.

    1 suggestion possibly worth considering &, bringing up for discussion, is the fact that there is/are some LUBRICANTS on the market now, that will NUMB, the RECEIVER'S BUTT.Although I myself have never used it personally on anyone, a friend of mine, who is pretty well endowed, had told me that a guy he was seeing, ( who was, VERY INEXPERIENCED, in being the PASSIVE one and who was fearful of my friends size & the pain it would cause if he let him screw him), bought it and the guy agreed to let him try it based on the fact that it would NUMB his bum, they tried it and it worked !!! That's worth talking about.

    On another note, if there is a VALID PHYSICAL/MEDICAL/BAD PAST EMOTIONAL Experience, that is the reason as to why he won't let you top him...don't force the issue on him...(I have INVOLUNTARILY, had SEVERE Physical Damage done to me by someone, which makes it EXTREMELY PAINFUL & just about impossible for me to be the bottom), I advise you to just discuss it, and express EVERYTHING you are feeling.

    I wish you luck.
     
  14. InTheZone

    InTheZone New Member

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    Nothing has happened to him, bad experience-wise. He is very stubborn and does not like to give "power" up. The only tihng he repeats to me is that he doesn't want to be "submissive"....that is the only reason.....but I mean dating a guy for over 5 years and not topping him in a good almost 4 years....it sucks....and another member here said a quote....that to truly please a man as a top you need to understand and have played the part of the bottom.....
     
  15. scottbud

    scottbud Active Member

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    I am also in a LTR comming upto 8 years now!

    And yeap you gotta be versatile (in our situation anyway) relationships are about sacrifice for the one you love and just because you dont like something doesnt mean it shouldnt happen. The only time the "Im an exclusive top" thing works is if you man is an exclusive bottom. In my experience that is almost impossible to come across.

    If he wants to keep you satisfied sexually he needs to bend over every so often, but to be honest it doesnt sound like his objective during sex is to satisfy you sound more like its all about him.

    The number one reason affairs happen is because one of the partners is not being satisfied.

    kick his ass to the kerb I say if he is that selfish in bed he must be an absolute twat in other areas of the rship.
     
  16. scottbud

    scottbud Active Member

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    You dont need to be submissive to be a bottom. He is just making excuses.
     
  17. InTheZone

    InTheZone New Member

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    Thanks guys!!!
     
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