Sex with the Ex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by exwhyzee, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. exwhyzee

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    Not sex with Exwhyzee, but THE EX.

    I broke up with my ex a couple of years ago when he moved away to complete his residency in another city. No negative feelings were involved...circumstances just led us apart. We have caught up with each other maybe once or twice a year since then for coffee or ice cream when we visiting respective hometowns.

    The other day, I got a text message from him: "Plans tonight? Am having dinner in town with rents but nothing after. Coffee? I can suck your weiner..."

    Hummina? Do my what? I was shocked...and I guess my response showed that. He wrote back that he was just kidding...but the horse was out of the barn. I'm not convinced that he was kidding.

    I did meet with him, and we talked for a long time about life and friends. I did not follow up on his offer...though I kinda wish I did...but it just seemed like it had the potential to lay groundwork for expectations that I wasn't prepared to deal with...though I really would like to have had a blowjob (he was very very good at it). Did I mention he was very good? :rolleyes:

    There is something nice and safe about the familiarity of an ex when the relationship ended without a fight or hard feelings. In a way your heart moves on to other things...but, maybe a repeat performance once in a while is not such a bad thing...especially when the sex life is slow/nonexistent.

    Has anyone else had ex-sex experiences? If so, how did they turn out? Did it complicate things...or were you able to keep it at face-value? Did the relationship change afterward? Were there repeat performances? Am I a complete idiot for not taking him up on his offer?
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I have and it didn't cause problems. In fact, because we were so comfortable with each other it was great. But I've only done it after I was truly over him (and if we were both single) and we were the best of friends. If you or he have lingering, unresolved emotions it will only cause trouble.
     
  3. vince

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    I had sex with my ex-wife. After two years and the pain had faded a bit, I was back in town and we went out and had dinner and a good time. There was something comfortable and easy about it. Like going home. We did it the next year when she came to visit me here. But after I got a study gf again, I wouldn't do it. I don't mean she asked or anything. She wouldn't do that. They have met and are friendly.

    Anyways, yeah, It was good. I also had a chance with the first guy I ever had a relationship with. He contacted me five years later and we wrote a few letters back and forth. I could tell he wanted to meet up, but I chickened out. I loved that guy, and he was so hot, but it would have thrown my plans at the time into total disarray so I cut him off and stopped writing. I have always felt bad about that.
     
  4. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I'll bet he felt worse. It's never too late to explain and apologize.
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

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    Well, colour me disappointed :frown1: <- see.
    :wink:

    Interested to read this thread, it's not something I've ever done. I don't go back once I'm done. Not to mention that half my serious realtionship have ended in serious acrimony :rolleyes:
     
  6. nakedone

    nakedone New Member

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    I fucked my ex-wife once after our divorce. She asked me for money to put down a deposit on an apartment and when I went over to give it to her I said she wouldn't have to pay it back if I could fuck her, since I wasn't getting any regular pussy at that time.

    It was a much better fuck since I wasn't worrying about her pleasure, and was just using her as a hole to get off in. The surprise was that she still came before I did. I guess she like the new format too. I even called her "Pussy" while I was fucking her, which was something I would not have done when we were married.

    That was the only time I fucked her, but I have told a few of my friends about her and they've fucked her. She even thanked me once for sending her such great cocks!
     
  7. vince

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    I know. You are right. I have been looking for him recently. I intend to at least apologize because he didn't deserve it and I was a chickenshit. I don't know how to search him down though. The name is fairly common.
     
  8. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    That speaks well of you but doesn't surprise me. Good luck. I hope you find him; he'll really appreciate it.
     
  9. hud01

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    Only did it with one gf, but we had sex must have been 15 or 20 times over a 5 year period until she moved away after getting married.

    Found out much later that she carried on an affair for close to 10 years after she got married with a bf prior to me, who lived near where she moved to. Hubby could not satisfy her.

    With me, the relationship had just become sex and the fact that we shared an apartment, so we needed each other, that made it easy.
     
  10. the_reverend

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    with a couple of exes, it's been more immediately after we "broke up," but continued to hang out, go out and sleep together. so don't think that really counts, lol. i did have one recent experience with an old girlfriend from high school with whom i'd never had sex. we dated ten years ago and had lost touch, then wound up back in touch and there was a lot of falling back into old habits of flirting and what not. i was visiting our old hometown a few months back and she invited me over to catch up. we had a few drinks, continued to flirt, kissed a few times...nothing major. and then we were standing outside and this freak storm that had blown in out of nowhere just started pouring down on us. we started to make out and grind up against each other, and then i threw her back in the lawn chair and went down on her there in the rain...after a while, she said she was cold so we went back inside to her bedroom, tore each other's clothes off and just ravaged each other. it was incredibly hot and intense...a decade of sexual tension finally boiling over, lol. we pretty much alternated between sex and cuddling for the rest of the night until she had to get up and get ready for work. went back by in the afternoon a couple of days later and we went at it again. still incredible. i haven't been back since, but we've talked on the phone quite a bit. it's alternated between bringing us even closer together and occasionally making things a bit awkward because of various outside circumstances. but i can't really say that i regret it at all. ;)
     
  11. exwhyzee

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    Interesting replies. Usually once I'm out of a relationship, I'm out deliberately and for good. This situation is new territory for me.
     
  12. invisibleman

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    You should have ex sex: IF you broke up on good terms and you both feel good about each other. You probably should have some rules and know that the sex isn't going to make things strange.

    I wouldn't have sex with any of my exes. I want someone new better than what I have gotten from my exes combined.
     
  13. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    basicly a one night stand but not with a stranger. a sexual receptacle.
     
  14. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    You would scare me a little.

    Once I love someone, I never stop loving them. Albeit in perhaps a different way.
     
  15. exwhyzee

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    Haha yes, that is pretty obvious from past posts and exchanges you and I have had.

    If I break up with someone, then *most often* something has seriously malfunctioned in our relationship. I'm not going to love someone if they have gone behind my back and slept with a bunch of random people. That's pretty hurtful, and I don't want that kind of person in my life, ya know?
     
    #15 exwhyzee, Nov 15, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2009
  16. D_Polyphebus Hammertoe

    D_Polyphebus Hammertoe Account Disabled

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    I've done this with a couple of exes over the years. Something about it always made the sex super hot... I think it's the taboo nature of it. But then afterwards it always became super awkward, and ended up putting space in between the ex and myself. Which is something I don't necessarily care for... I like to try to remain friendly with those I've dated.
     
  17. the_reverend

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    i'm the exact same way. even if we shouldn't be together and the relationship itself has gone stale or toxic, my feelings for the person never go away. i actually have trouble understanding people who can get over someone or fall out of love. lol
     
  18. helgaleena

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    The sex is something I cannot do unless as loving. I cannot be just a receptacle, and the partner cannot be just a toy. To me that is false, and treating sex as less holy than it should be.

    I agree that I still care for my exes and continue to feel love of some sort, but something as profound and powerful as sex does not enter it. Even when they are still mouthwateringly attractive. Because sex is too important to get wrong by having it with someone who doesn't respect me. I would rather have it with myself and my imagination.

    FWB sex is to me a sort of marriage in spirit. Right now I am polygamous, although in the eyes of the law I am single. I don't have sex lightly. If my partners do not treat it with equal seriousness they are out.

    I think you are right to be cautious about an ex. They left for reasons and those reasons might come up again.
     
  19. hud01

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    Sex is not holy, sex is not marriage. Sex is physical. You contradict yourself in saying you are polygamous(SP?).
     
  20. helgaleena

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    My opinion and yours differ then. But I did say FWB sex in particular and it's how I view it. YMMV.

    Would you 'bang any hole that's willing', like some here, even if it's attached to an ex? Do you find the OP's attitude too picky?
     
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