Sexism - a cacophony of silence from the Mod team.

D_Tim McGnaw

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Now who is stropping?

I did not think "the angry, bitter words of someone you reported for sexism were of equal value to" those of the mod team. I was going by what he published of what was said to him by the mod team - I don't give a hoot what spin he put on it. Had the Mod in the know bothered his fucking arse, while online and posting here anyway, to reply to my PM yesterday then I would have had a better understanding of what was said by the mod team.


I'm not stropping, I'm not remotely emotionally engaged in this at all actually. I think it's beneath you to try and pull that in an attempt to paint me into some kind of corner too. I haven't characterised the tone of your posts in this thread so do me the politeness of not doing so (inaccurately) too, please. :wink:


Remember also that we are not obliged to keep you informed about the details of other people's bannings or interactions with the Moderating Team. We told you exactly what he'd been banned for in the Mod actions thread, that you wanted to treat Michaeldi23's nonsense as of sufficient value that you decided to send us demands for clarification is down to you. That we did not reply to you is not evidence of a site-wide sexism.

The guy was HUd for hate speech, we had already made that clear. What more did you want from us? Affidavits? Sworn testimony? :redface:





Are you telling me that HG made repeated racist remarks before the banning? Could I have the links to those posts, please?

No, that is not what I am telling you. I know of no such posts.





I do report - all the time. I rarely get a response. Are things changing? You'll see above that I have already stated it appears they are? Do I think it is enough yet? No. Do I think sexism is a 'less serious crime' here at LPSG than racism or homophobia? I have made it clear that I do. Do I think you personally, hilaire, see things that way? I know that you do not - I also know you only have one vote. Do I think it is policy? I don't know, that's why I'm asking.


What would you have me do? Not agitate for the changes I think need to be made?


I would have been heartily glad of the discussion too, had it not been wrapped up in this conspiracy about the banning of Michaeldi23 which you seemed to have been implying was an example of bad faith or bungling on our part.
 

ManlyBanisters

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So it is OK for you to assign emotive, misinterpretations to me but not vice-versa? I see.

At no point have I spoken of conspiracy - I have asked the membership what they think, I have asked the mods what happened, I have asked the mods what way things worked. You are seeing my questions as accusations. I put them the way I put them to elicit a response, true, but they are still questions, not accusations.

You're right, the mod team doesn't owe me an explanation - however a nice, timely response to a reasonable question would have saved us all a lot of bother - wouldn't it?
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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So it is OK for you to assign emotive, misinterpretations to me but not vice-versa? I see.

At no point have I spoken of conspiracy - I have asked the membership what they think, I have asked the mods what happened, I have asked the mods what way things worked. You are seeing my questions as accusations. I put them the way I put them to elicit a response, true, but they are still questions, not accusations.

You're right, the mod team doesn't owe me an explanation - however a nice, timely response to a reasonable question would have saved us all a lot of bother - wouldn't it?



If I did describe your posts in that way I apologise, I tried very hard not to.




It's hard not to see these as accusations from our point of view, we gave you full disclosure and yet you felt compelled to use this Michaeldi23 business as the starting point for a discussion about site sexism.

You implied with your questions that there was a causal link between the two. I'm hardly imagining that am I?
 

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this is no fun until you two are naked, in a paddling pool, slathered in baby oil.

i've changed the bunny's batteries in anticipation of you complying to my whim.
 

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D_Tim McGnaw

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*slurps down three in quick succession* Delicious! Now where's my Ambien Grasshopper! :tongue:


Apologies for the levity Manly
 

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How this whole 'Michaeldi23 business' is important to the general discussion of sexism on the site goes over my head to be honest. I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that one example should be concentrated on (by anyone). More broadly, in my opinion, there are sexist remarks made here all the time, and to some extent I think they are considered 'less important'. Let me explain what I mean by that (before it is misunderstood). Sometimes people say things without realising they are speaking to a person of the opposite sex (or mean no harm at all etc.), they may say a 'sexist remark' purely as an insult - which isn't right, but there's no sexist intent. To others this could be viewed as sexist, but if the moderators find the person meant no real offence, (in my mind) it may not be considered 'ban-worthy'. People often use more generalised, originally sexist remarks, as plain old insults or slang. (I could call another man a 'bitch', for example.) Anyway, my point is that in such cases, sexism can be viewed as 'less important' or at least harder to identify. If I say, "..all black people are scum.." there is no doubt that there's racist intent and I'd expect to be banned. But, "..suck my dick.." doesn't automatically mean I'm sexist. It's awkward, and I fear I've not explained myself well. But, I completely agree that people should never feel the need to 'put-up' with hatred and, when it happens, people are correct to respond negatively and report it. It's hard to find a balanced judgement between good and bad - everyone has different boundaries and are offended by different things. From my perspective, that's the hardest job for a moderator.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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How this whole 'Michaeldi23 business' is important to the general discussion of sexism on the site goes over my head to be honest. I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that one example should be concentrated on (by anyone). More broadly, in my opinion, there are sexist remarks made here all the time, and to some extent I think they are considered 'less important'. Let me explain what I mean by that (before it is misunderstood). Sometimes people say things without realising they are speaking to a person of the opposite sex (or mean no harm at all etc.), they may say a 'sexist remark' purely as an insult - which isn't right, but there's no sexist intent. To others this could be viewed as sexist, but if the moderators find the person meant no real offence, (in my mind) it may not be considered 'ban-worthy'. People often use more generalised, originally sexist remarks, as plain old insults or slang. (I could call another man a 'bitch', for example.) Anyway, my point is that in such cases, sexism can be viewed as 'less important' or at least harder to identify. If I say, "..all black people are scum.." there is no doubt that there's racist intent and I'd expect to be banned. But, "..suck my dick.." doesn't automatically mean I'm sexist. It's awkward, and I fear I've not explained myself well. But, I completely agree that people should never feel the need to 'put-up' with hatred and, when it happens, people are correct to respond negatively and report it. It's hard to find a balanced judgement between good and bad - everyone has different boundaries and are offended by different things. From my perspective, that's the hardest job for a moderator.



I think you explained yourself very well. :wink:
 

B_subgirrl

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My points about the apparent treatment of sexist content as less serious than other forms of bigotry stands. I know many of the female posters here feel that we are not accorded the same respect as the men and that it is let pass time and time again. It does seem a step in the right direction that the member in question was called on his shit this time - I'm still of the opinion had the user worded a similar statement against a black member with the instruction that the black member should 'service' him he would receive more than a heads up.

I agree with this completely. Sexism and misogyny are not taken seriously enough here.


Do I think this is an evolving process? Yes, and I think the situation with regard to sexism is somewhat different now than it used to be. is it perfect? No, but you'll excuse us perfection I hope.

This is true. An improvement was made recently that I applaud the mod/admin team for. However, there's still a long way to go.

Just because perfection is unachievable, it doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for it.
 

LaFemme

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I agree with this completely. Sexism and misogyny are not taken seriously enough here.




This is true. An improvement was made recently that I applaud the mod/admin team for. However, there's still a long way to go.

Just because perfection is unachievable, it doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for it.

I agree as well. Misogyny is alive and well here. I don't think that most of the male members here are aware of how tough it can be to be a woman on this site. Whenever we complain, we're told to "lighten up" or what do you expect when you're a member of a "large penis site"? This places the blame on the woman.

It reminds of when female sportscasters were first allowed in male locker rooms. They endured sexual taunts verging on assault because it was a man's domain. They were expected to 'lighten up' etc - what did they expect? But it was wrong.

I don't expect to be addressed as Ma'am or not to hear fuck, pussy, cocksucker, etc. I like to talk about sex. I love cocks. I love fucking. But don't treat me like a hole, don't tell me I need raping or sodomizing, don't tell me you're going to stuff your dick in my mouth to shut me up. Don't call me a cunt. Don't tell me how hot it is to fuck unconscious women. Don't compare sex with me to a urinal - "I'll piss in any urinal, so why should I care which pussy I fuck?" The list could go on and on. This is just stuff from the last couple of days....add that over weeks and months. Oh, except for the unconcious woman - that just sticks with me.

I think I'm a nice person. I'm pretty reasonable - I think my post history would support that. I'll answer questions many other women won't. I love lots of the guys here.

But sexism & mysogyny is alive & well. I am grateful that there have been changes made to the rules and I am hopeful that though change is slow, change is possible.
 

The Dragon

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I agree as well. Misogyny is alive and well here. I don't think that most of the male members here are aware of how tough it can be to be a woman on this site. Whenever we complain, we're told to "lighten up" or what do you expect when you're a member of a "large penis site"? This places the blame on the woman.

It reminds of when female sportscasters were first allowed in male locker rooms. They endured sexual taunts verging on assault because it was a man's domain. They were expected to 'lighten up' etc - what did they expect? But it was wrong.

I don't expect to be addressed as Ma'am or not to hear fuck, pussy, cocksucker, etc. I like to talk about sex. I love cocks. I love fucking. But don't treat me like a hole, don't tell me I need raping or sodomizing, don't tell me you're going to stuff your dick in my mouth to shut me up. Don't call me a cunt. Don't tell me how hot it is to fuck unconscious women. Don't compare sex with me to a urinal - "I'll piss in any urinal, so why should I care which pussy I fuck?" The list could go on and on. This is just stuff from the last couple of days....add that over weeks and months. Oh, except for the unconcious woman - that just sticks with me.

I think I'm a nice person. I'm pretty reasonable - I think my post history would support that. I'll answer questions many other women won't. I love lots of the guys here.

But sexism & mysogyny is alive & well. I am grateful that there have been changes made to the rules and I am hopeful that though change is slow, change is possible.

:You_Rock_Emoticon:....Preach it!
 

B_Nicodemous

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Sexism runs rampant here, but as MoT pointed out the personal boundaries any one individual has, may be completely different form any others. This is further complected m th nature of the existing relationship. For example: Some of my straight male friends can call me a fag. I take no offense. If a relative stranger said it? I would go ballistic.I cn call my sister a bitch. I can be upset when i do so. I am NOT saying it specifically as a sexist insult, but a general one. In the first example it was said playfully by twoo sepreate parties. My reaction is as dffernet as night and day. In the example of my sis, she KNOWS i am not making sexist remark (we use bitch to describe whinny snappish people of ANY gender) and so it has no more weight than if I said "fucking whiner. Insult yes, but not with any added weight.

So the mods then have to determine the tone, and intent of the post, compare it to I assume, past interpersonal relationships (post history) to put it's usage into context, then hold a quorum and vote as to what is to be done.

I do see MB stance though on knowing the why. In this case i would have wondered if the former michael-whatever, had edited the pm. But that's just how my mind works.

MB, i don't think i have had any direct interaction with you here (I think I supported you i a thread or two but never had any discourse with you). I haven't been here as long, and have my suspicions of how the mods conduct themselves. But in this case, though they should have alerted you to the fact that the title had the "sexist content" label, they don't legally have to do so. Of course had they perhaps we could have been spared the bulk of this thread.

Does sexism exist here? Yep. Is it handled as well as can be? No. All we can do is keep alerting people at large of the problem and bring questionable threads, posts and blogs to the mods/admins.

I have made my share of reports regarding a certain individual at LPSG, who said insanely sexist, misogynistic crap. The mods, for whatever reason, did nada (nothing in the Moderator Actions thread, no pm, nothing)Not sure what the deal is.

LaFemme and MoT have the essence of this locked down, though.:biggrin:
 

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I hear ya loud and clear MB. Getting back to Michaeldi23 and his pm that he posted from ny, I seriously think he edited when he posted the pm in that thread. He put a "k" in place of the "d" in his own username. Both of which are under the middle finger on the keyboard. His left brain, right brain wasn't in sync. Why? Because he was lying.
 
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D_Tim McGnaw

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Sexism runs rampant here,



Genuinely I'm following this thread with great interest and taking on board what people are saying.

But I don't recognise this characterisation, I don't think "sexism runs rampant", because that would be to suggest that it goes unchallenged and without reprimand, and even if you think it isn't reprimanded enough it is reprimanded.
 

B_Nicodemous

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Genuinely I'm following this thread with great interest and taking on board what people are saying.

But I don't recognise this characterisation, I don't think "sexism runs rampant", because that would be to suggest that it goes unchallenged and without reprimand, and even if you think it isn't reprimanded enough it is reprimanded.

Ahh...Ok. Here we run afoul of a difference in definition:

You are using it as 2a: marked by a menacing wildness, extravagance, or absence of restraint <rampant rumors>


I am using it as 2b:b : profusely widespread <rampant weeds>

rampant def

Now i did NOT say the sexism was boiling over Hilaire. I was refereing to the lot of it. Most of it is on a slow simmer, but take a look at threads llike: "why can't women measure...", or any permutation of that, and you tell me if there is not a sexist, chauvinistic, bent.

Just saying.

And My meaning of rampant should have been made clear when I said:
Does sexism exist here? Yep. Is it handled as well as can be? No. All we can do is keep alerting people at large of the problem and bring questionable threads, posts and blogs to the mods/admins.

Hope that clears up any misunderstanding stemming from a difference of language use from across the pond.
 

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Didn't even see this til I's response. I'm not angry about Michaeldi23. I couldn't give a fuck about one person. I'm annoyed about being treated differently because I'm female, put out about being afforded less respect, irritated that it isn't taken seriously here - or leastways not as seriously as I think it should be. The only thing I'm currently angry about is you being a dim git and reading only one dimension of this.

Newsflash for people who think I'm pissed off that one bloke told me to 'service' him 48 hours ago. I was never pissed off about that - It amused me that he somehow thought that would get to me. What does annoy me is that people are allowed to talk to others like that here in some circumstances and not in others. See my point above on HG's ban for the shoe shine comment to VB.

ok, so you didn't like my answer, but, you didn't have to name call. "dim git?" do you think your taking things a little bit to seriously. but, what do i know? "i'm just a dim git, that only reads one dimenion."
 

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I am not quite sure why you are asking someone to take a deep breath or to relax. I realize your intention but I don't understand the need. She hasn't been vehement or "yelling" as much as one can in text format. So why the need to tell her to calm down? She seems rational, logical and ready for input. Maybe a tad impassioned in her original post, but I think that may be my inner voice putting a tone on the words I'm reading.

hey intrigue, she is a bit impassioned. seems a bit of a rant. so, there may be sexism but, a bit of name calling too. may not like what i wrote, or, thinking i'm "one dimensional" in what i was saying, but, no need for name calling. she posted and wanted opinions.
 

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one over here please. and, i want gin and olives. :) :) :)