Sexual attraction after or before love?

[lopo2000]

I have one question for those who used to/have been/will be in a relationship. Do you guys fall in love with a person first then you feel sexually attracted to him/her? or are you sexually attracted to the person first then you fall in love (granted if it's destined for you to be in love)?

Because for me personally, usually when I am sexually attracted to someone, I have to fall for him first. But sometimes, I do feel sexually attracted to someone and no love afterwards.

What do you guys think?

 

[treetruck]

My first boy friend lasted one year and I was totally attracted to him sexually but no love. I meet my second and current man in 1984 and also was sexually attracted to him and we where so in love, still are but no sex any more. go figure

 

[chesz001]

well on my case,i fell inlove with her first and when we were going steady and live in my apartment well i became more sexually attracted to her..well,i think when you fall in love its a combination of love and sex because if you are sexually attracted first i think you might call it lust..am i right?

 

[lopo2000]

I guess you're right. It is just, perhaps it can go both ways...

 

[B_thickjohnny]

My BF (the one I recently broke up with) was a bit different. I was attracted to him but not so much in love. He made me fall in love though - through his words and actions and just the way he was - and man I fell hook, line and sinker. In 4 years however he changed dramatically. We met when he was 20 and I was 50. Four years is a lot for someone in that age range. He decided to go out exploring the other side of the mountain - behind my back. He went from nice small-town guy to big city slut, it seems.

 

[the_reverend]

personally, for me, the attraction/chemistry is there first. i fall in love with them as a whole, body, mind and soul...but my initial access point is the visual and outward personality, which is entirely about attraction.

 

[gretchenweiner]

Guys I've immediately had that "i would like to dirty, dirty things with him" sexual attraction have never lasted long. It's like a flash fire burns hot and quickly dies out.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Depends on the situation.

If its a friendship becoming a relationship then their will be love before sex, but if its a new person there obviously needs to be some kind of sexual attraction to spark your initial interest.

 

[B_Jules7]

for me it's usually sexual attraction before love. But, I have been friends and then developed a sexual attraction.

 

[StraightDave]

Physical attraction ALWAYS comes first. A possible exception could be if you meet someone online and see no pictures of them until after you've already spent considerable time talking to them. You could develop a liking for a person that way, but it'd be nothing more then a, "this person is cool to talk to, I wonder what they look like, I'd need to know that to know if I'd be interested in them outside of a mere friend" type of deal.

I don't see how you can fall for someone you have no desire to fuck.

 

[gretchenweiner]

I don't see how you can fall for someone you have no desire to fuck.

fucking and attraction are two different things
people fuck people they don't like or have attraction to all the time, they just like a warm hole

 

[StraightDave]

Topic creator said SEXUAL attraction though. To me, sexual attraction equals desiring to fuck someone because you find them attractive.

 

[luka82]

I fall in love first.
but I usually fuck with guys i don`t love!
That`s why i don`t fuck much

 

[the_reverend]

fucking and attraction are two different things
people fuck people they don't like or have attraction to all the time, they just like a warm hole

but as you say, those people just want the hole...they don't want to fuck the person, per se.

 

[lopo2000]

Physical attraction ALWAYS comes first. A possible exception could be if you meet someone online and see no pictures of them until after you've already spent considerable time talking to them. You could develop a liking for a person that way, but it'd be nothing more then a, "this person is cool to talk to, I wonder what they look like, I'd need to know that to know if I'd be interested in them outside of a mere friend" type of deal.

I don't see how you can fall for someone you have no desire to fuck.

Actually I have fallen in love with people I have no desire to fuck in the first place at all. But then, after falling for them, I suddenly find them very attractive and fuckable. This happened twice.

I fall in love first.
but I usually fuck with guys i don`t love!
That`s why i don`t fuck much

And that's the reason why I have never fucked or been fucked at all...

 

[AlteredEgo]

I have been sexually attracted to most of the men I dated (including my husband) before falling in love, and for the most part, I never fell in love with them. In one instance, I fell in love first, and sexual attraction came later.

 

[metas]

Love your question!

Certainly after LOVE for me. LOVE always leads a great sex.

Thank you for asking.

 

[deleted405852]

I can be sexually attracted to someone and still not have an ounce of love in my heart for them, so for me actually falling for the person comes first. When I fall for someone I will find things about them that even they themselves have never considered sexy to be irresistibly sexy.

On the flip-side of what I just said, my best friend is now totally out of love with her husband (married 7 months ago). She just told me that she loved him because he was kind, supportive and other stuff, she knew she could find hotter guys. Anyway she told me that they haven't had sex in a month because she didn't feel attracted to him and he wasn't turning her on (even though she wanted to get laid).

So I guess having a sexual attraction to your partner before love/marriage can help.
*Scratches head* It's odd that she told me that considering that I was going to respond to this post before having any sort of real life input from her.

 

[earllogjam]

Sexual attraction before love for me. Love is very rare and takes time to blossom. You can fuck millions of guys and not be in love with even one of them, however.

 

[B_BraxtonHartnabrig]

sexual attraction first...I really can not see loving somebody for who they are, when you do not know them well from the jump

I am always sexually attracted to a woman before I love her, and the only way I can love her is to trust her

Love is a strange thing because no one can really describe the feeling into one main description.

in the nutshell sex before love