Sexual Attraction between Partners

schwulboy1989

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Is it just me, or is there a difference between being turned on by someone and being turned on by sex?

Sometimes I feel that my partner is horny, or likes how I make him feel in bed, but isn't actually turned on by me (like, by my physical appearance).

Are these things different? Am I over-thinking it?

Thanks!
-Schwul.
 

Exbiker

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People are different from each other, yes. And the same person differs from time to time.

Friendship shades into romance. And/or lust ...

Attraction is partly about looks. Partly about how someone moves, and how they sound. Behaviour. How they plug into social trends, arts, fashion. Shared interests and points of view. The depth of shared experience. Humour.

So. Yes.

One day person A may be completely besotted by person B. At a very basic, animal, sexual level. A really wants sex. NOW. And for it to last a long time and be full of power.

The next day they may want just a cuddle, or nothing.

Or to focus on something else.

It's a system of rituals and dances. It's learning a dance like tango. It's not always easy. But it's fun.

And when it stops being fun, move on to waltz or another form ...

:wink:
 

erratic

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I hear you that sometimes people are turned on by the idea of sex before being turned on by a partner, but I don't know how many people are able to have (good) sex with someone who doesn't turn them on, too...you know? Sex workers do it for money, inmates (sometimes) because there's no one else available, and closet cases do it out of shame and desperation (I guess), but your partner is volunteering to have sex with you, so he's gotta be turned on. Right?

That's why I lean to the "overthinking it" side.
 

drewww

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It makes sense. But being turned on by how you make him feel is actually being turned on by you.. it's just not "you" in the grossly physical sense.