sexual confusion and fear

hud01

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I am a thirty year old male, in collage. I am about to graduate and I will or hope to start dating again. I have been single for over four years and am a little shy at first. I have also become increasingly more aware of how attracted to other men I can be. I love woman, but some nights I would be very happy entertain another man. I am unsure of who I am and what I want. Where do I begin? I would like to explore these feelings, but fear and my shyness holds me back. Am I bi, bi curious, a crazy isolated odd ball or what? Help me if you can. I will answer questions if you need more info. :frown1:

Yeah it is a bad mistake. Collage vs college is significent. Just because there are mistakes in many posts does not make it acceptable.

I do make many spelling errors and I look at my posts and try to correct them.

uhhm
i also try my best to correct mistakes, (never used to, just to be a pain, when folk continually raved re it) but invariably some slip thru
maybe this was just one that did, still begs the question, was it such an important mistake that the guy is virtually villifed for it
the importance was in the message he was putting out ...
could also mention use of capitals or not / US Vs English spelling etc ..is it that important???

Just try and assist the OP i reckon, to hell with the shit talk, plenty of funnys threads for that shit......
The fact is you are bi or gay. Who cares. find the person that interests you the most.

The fact that you have so many grammatical errors worries me more about the US educational system.
 

Smaccoms

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I am a thirty year old male, in collage. I am about to graduate and I will or hope to start dating again. I have been single for over four years and am a little shy at first. I have also become increasingly more aware of how attracted to other men I can be. I love woman, but some nights I would be very happy entertain another man. I am unsure of who I am and what I want. Where do I begin? I would like to explore these feelings, but fear and my shyness holds me back. Am I bi, bi curious, a crazy isolated odd ball or what? Help me if you can. I will answer questions if you need more info. :frown1:

I would find someone who could connect with what you are feeling so that they understand what is going on when whatever happens happens between the two of you. For example, I completely understand being confused and needing to experiment enough in order to actually come to a conclusion of any kind. Humans are sociological, so context is always required. I wish you the best of luck! :tongue:
 

Smaccoms

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You're not an oddball rest assured. I don't know what all you know about sexuality in general, but almost every man or woman you meet on the street or anywhere is bi or gay. Don't doubt it.

My best advice, not that you're doing it, is to be totally honest with yourself about your sexuality. There are lots out there who have same sex interests and sincerely claim to be 100% straight. You'll feel better in general if you're honest with yourself about whatever your desires are.

Online hook ups are a start if you want to explore. Being you're in college you've got tons of potentials all around you I promise you. Finding them is another thing. I don't know how you are about gay bars, that would be the fastest route for a hookup. Gay/bi chat rooms, gay dating sites and the like are places to begin online. I'm 47 and have chatted with several bi or gay college guys looking for experimentation or a suck meet.

It's nerve racking at first for sure. Get to know someone you might chat with. Usually through dialouge online, if that's how you met someone, you can tell by how they talk and what they want what type of person they are.

Be careful. If you meet someone, wherever it is, in a short period of time you'll feel if you can trust them. I have met tons of guys online and most are just cool everyday guys wanting to experiment and suck cock.

I would also suggest finding non-straight social mediums besides bar/club scene. That one kind of sucks if your looking for an introduction into what's going on. It's better to find other scenes instead, like a regular meeting social, or singing club, or hiking club, running or sports club that's gay/bi. It's totally great. Here's an example in my area:

monoho – events and information for gay men of western mass - monoho - home

Just look up groups and go for it. Find a group that is accepting and open, and they will definitely help you find yourself. There is, after all, much more to non-straight life than bars and sex.
 

Smaccoms

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Just enjoy yourself and go with whatever you enjoy. That is what the term bi-curious means. Find a girlfriend who is bi-curious too and open minded, and just have fun. We do, and it is fantastic. At our small bi swing parties, we have lots of oral all around, rimming, straight male in female sex, bi male in male sex, female with strap-on in bi male sex, and hand jobs and oral during all of that. Two months ago, after several hours of mixed play, one of the guys asked my GF to do him with her strap-on. Soon, he was on his back and she was fucking him with her strap-on while we took turns sucking or stroking his cock. The other gal that was at the party come over and sat down on his cock. sliding it into her pussy. Then she started moving her hips and shortly after that he had a great orgasm.

Our thoughts are that a person should do sexually what they enjoy and not let labels restrict them (within legal limits, of course).

This sounds like so much fun! I'd like to join some time for the experimentation...

Stop trying to figure out yourself and just be. If that's what you enjoy and you're not hurting anybody, enjoy it. No need to stress yourself out or keep yourself boxed in a label.

This seems very much like a psychological perspective, which personally do not agree with. "Just be"? Humans exists sociologically. Without a medium for certain traits to "just be" in, they lose meaning and context and cannot truly exist in that person from a healthy perspective. Just my opinion.
 

1Cody

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Some people may not agree with my conclusion.. I've had some encounters with other guys.. I've sucked cock and bottomed and have enjoyed it.. I love seeing women sucking cock and taking it in the ass in porn.. Women are beautiful and I love them more then men.. So I guess I'm bi.. I know I'm not gay because I think being gay means you could fall in love with a man.. I have no desire to be in a relationship with a man, fall in love with a man, live with a man or raise children with a man.. If you have these desires then you might be gay.. I just enjoy some sex with men at times..

I have been infatuated and obsessed with a guy before. Yes, I wanted a relationship that I have never had. So that is still unrealized. I think we are putting up labels again. Maybe that is a gay desire, but it don't characterize my pansexual reality.