Sexual desire, over thirty and other questions..

[houseofhedon]

I just turned 33 in april. Im also a homosexual. Ive noticed some changes in my sexual appetite and have concerns about whether or not its permanent. The issue is multifaceted so I will break it down into a couple of personal facts and you can disregard the ones that you think may not be important. I know none of you are doctors, Im just asking from your experience.

I'm 8 1/2 inches and very thick. Friends have told me that aging can decrease bloodflow, and that if you are larger that you notice it sooner.

Im a smoker..

Im about 15 pds overweight.

I have extremely decreased sensitivity in my unit.

I still get hard, but not hard enough for penetration. It can still be floppy and have an orgasm lol

Its not really an erection "issue" I masterbate a few times a week and seem to be hard as normal when Im alone

I ended an 8 year relationship about 3 years ago and started noticing the problem during that time, altho, I dont think its related and it might be a coincidence.

Any ideas would help me out greatly!

 

[B_Hornaplenty]

In a couple weeks I will turn 75 and my libido will still be revved up. It always has been. There's no change in my sexual appetite. I've never smoked, my weight is under control, and I exercise regularly, keeping fit. There is no reason you at 33 shouldn't be getting normal sexual satisfaction if you are following good health habits.

Over my lifetime the only times my sexual drive suffered was when I had 1) job stress, 2) marital conflict, 3) some sudden difficult event, and 4) illness. Emotional distress can do a lot to dampen your sexual spirit. From what you have stated, I think your emotional condition may have some bearing on your low level of sex interest and ability to perform. But at your age that shouldn't be, and it doesn't have to be permanent...you just have to eliminate the source of the problem.

If you have read many of the threads on LPSG you must have picked up on the frequent comments about good health being the basis of a good sex life. So I suggest you stop smoking, start exercising to lose weight, and concentrate on a proper diet. Think positively and maintain a high level of self esteem.

Then get ready for some good sex again.

 

[invisibleman]

I just turned 33 in april. Im also a homosexual. Ive noticed some changes in my sexual appetite and have concerns about whether or not its permanent. The issue is multifaceted so I will break it down into a couple of personal facts and you can disregard the ones that you think may not be important. I know none of you are doctors, Im just asking from your experience.

I'm 8 1/2 inches and very thick. Friends have told me that aging can decrease bloodflow, and that if you are larger that you notice it sooner.

Im a smoker..

Im about 15 pds overweight.

I have extremely decreased sensitivity in my unit.

I still get hard, but not hard enough for penetration. It can still be floppy and have an orgasm lol

Its not really an erection "issue" I masterbate a few times a week and seem to be hard as normal when Im alone

I ended an 8 year relationship about 3 years ago and started noticing the problem during that time, altho, I dont think its related and it might be a coincidence.

Any ideas would help me out greatly!

Consult your physician first about losing weight and stopping smoking.

Quit smoking. (And try not to substitute smoking for other habits like overeating and drinking.)
DO NOT BACKSLIDE ON CESSATION!!!! YOU WILL REGRET IT. STOP SMOKING, PERIOD.

Lose some pounds. (Reduction of caloric intake and carbs. Eat less breads...and sugar. Stop drinking sodas.)

Slowly regain muscle tone and cardio through some weight training and cardiovascular exercise.

If you try those things for six months... YOU WILL NOTICE IMPROVEMENTS IN YOUR SEX DRIVE AND IN YOUR ERECTIONS.

 

[Bbucko]

At your age, neither the smoking nor the extra 15 lbs should be an issue as regards your erection issues.

I think men tend to disregard the extent to which their emotions and libidos are enmeshed. Complete recovery from an ended relationship (especially an eight-year relationship) can take a long time, even if it didn't end in nuclear war. As I've written before in a different context: "My libido does not recognize vulnerability as a response trigger".

If you can still JO with full erection, then it's probably 99% mental/emotional issues that prevent you from experiencing one with a partner. You might also be "settling" for less than your ideal because you're just damn horny. This, while completely understandable, can lead not just to a less-than-ideal sexual response but might well leave you feeling less fulfilled or even empty afterward, neither of which is likely to lead you to further exploration of your sexual capacities right now.

You might want to discuss this with your doctor, especially if it's causing you stress in your daily life outside of the bedroom. He'll probably remind you of a varied and healthy diet, the need to get lots of fluids and rest, will probably suggest smoking cessation and might just give you a sample of Viagra, Cialis or Levitra; my suggestion, based on spotty experience, is try Levitra first: no headache (at least for me) and no unwanted side effects.

He might also do a test of your testosterone levels, but, again, 33 is hardly an age when such things should seriously impact erection issues just yet (but you never know).

Good luck finding the cause of your issues: everyone deserves as productive and pleasurable a sex life as is possible.