Sexual Dilemma

[D_Albert Greennut]

So I'm 18 and Ive never had sex. I'm straight, but I'm really curious about experiencing things with men. This guy Ive been talking online just asked me to join him and another guy in a threesome. I really want to try it, but I'm worried that for the rest of my life I'll remember that my first sexual experience ever was with a guy. I won't be able to donate blood, I would have to lie about it. What should I do?

 

[47026]

don't rush or jump into anything you might regret later... if you are curious about men, ease your way there. maybe try camming, or jacking one on one first...

 

[bigdicksarebest]

So I'm 18 and Ive never had sex. I'm straight, but I'm really curious about experiencing things with men. This guy Ive been talking online just asked me to join him and another guy in a threesome. I really want to try it, but I'm worried that for the rest of my life I'll remember that my first sexual experience ever was with a guy. I won't be able to donate blood, I would have to lie about it. What should I do?

First you say you are straight but curious about experiencing sex with a man. Thats called bi. Then your worried about your first sexual experience will be with a man. Who really cares and who's business is it really but your own. Why won't you be able to donate blood? If you're really that scared which sounds like it to me then maybe its better to just keep jacking off to guy's pics on line and leave it at that until you are mature enough to figure out if you want a man or not

 

[atlas23]

what does bloos has to do with this? how important is donating blood for u? You can have sex with who ever you want....

 

[D_Albert Greennut]

Men who have had sex with men are not allowed to donate blood. It was just an example I came up against it.

 

[hyphap]

As someone who enjoy sex with men, I'd say start with one. Trust me, one is more than tough enough. And if you are unsure about guys, doing things short of full-blown anal or oral is good--jacking, camming, making out, whatever.

And not being able to give blood once you've had sex with men sucks. It bothers me, because I want to help, but they don't want me to. Bastards.

 

[sexplease]

So I'm 18 and Ive never had sex. I'm straight, but I'm really curious about experiencing things with men. This guy Ive been talking online just asked me to join him and another guy in a threesome. I really want to try it, but I'm worried that for the rest of my life I'll remember that my first sexual experience ever was with a guy. I won't be able to donate blood, I would have to lie about it. What should I do?

What would You like to do?
What worries you about your first partner being same sexed?
Donating blood is a gift, and should be given with respect to donation standards (*that are set for the medical benefit of everyone and YOU. Remember that, should YOU ever need transfused!)
Where do you think a shared sexual experience will (or might / should) take you, mentally and emotionally?

Sex can be just that: sex. Sex with one or more consenting adults of either or both sexes, hopefully throughout your life, you will share and participate in the physically enjoyable part of humankind's pleasures.

Often though, people go through a series of relationship steps. One of those is sexual intimacy. When sexual identity is being questioned and physically acted on, some misplaced feelings (sex = love; sex ≠ love ) can, and do create many other emotional challenges to overcome. These challenges are normal and part of the emotional growth of people.

If you are worried you will have to lie about something, then perhaps it's something you might reconsider doing or, make a choice (as an informed adult as you can) then do so, so you wont have to lie. Be honest with yourself and all others. You will be better for it and all others will too.

People may not like or agree with some of your choices in YOUR life and those choices may preclude you from doing certain things (like donating blood *), but if you are honest, we all are better off.

*The issue of donating blood ( In 1983, the Food and Drug Administration enacted a policy which states that any male who has had sex with another male (MSM) since the year 1977 cannot donate blood.)

As a young man, temper your desires with well informed choices.

Play safe, and have a good time.
Michael*

 

[sam_solo26]

Well it sounds like your dilemma has two components. The first is that you have a stigma against your first time being with a guy, and the second is that you won't be able to donate blood.

I would call the first component an irrational fear caused by repeated exposure to media messages that portray the "first time" as a heterosexual act, as well as a seeming reluctance on your part to consider another sexual identity for yourself. You are "straight", and straight people don't have sexual relations with people of the same sex. This is all in your head, it seems. If there were absolutely zero negative reactions to your first time, and if the messages from various societal institutions and media outlets portrayed many positive images of a "first time" as a homosexual act, would you use this reason to deny your curiosity and urge?

The second component is maybe a little less cut and dry. Officially, you wouldn't be able to donate blood as per FDA policy. However, the support they give is based mostly on statistics that state the increased rates and frequencies of HIV/AIDS in the homosexual communities. These studies are also used to justify European Union policy as well. However, what they don't say is that homosexuals (and their blood) are more susceptible to HIV/AIDS or that you have it. In all likelihood, a heterosexual act could result in the transmission of HIV/AIDS just as much as in a homosexual act. These statistics are not infallible. If you get tested after the act (visit HIVTest.org for details), and find you do not have HIV/AIDS, then I see no reason why lying in that case wouldn't be justified. I consider it a form of homophobia left over from the AIDS scare and movement in the 1980's really.

Of course I'm not advocating sex with wild abandon. Be safe as best you can (it would be great if you could ask for STD test results before any sexual act with anyone, but alas they don't come pocket sized yet), and make sure you aren't getting used in a way that would make you uncomfortable or scar you. Happy travels man.

 

[Zuriel]

Well it sounds like your dilemma has two components. The first is that you have a stigma against your first time being with a guy, and the second is that you won't be able to donate blood.

I would call the first component an irrational fear caused by repeated exposure to media messages that portray the "first time" as a heterosexual act, as well as a seeming reluctance on your part to consider another sexual identity for yourself. You are "straight", and straight people don't have sexual relations with people of the same sex. This is all in your head, it seems. If there were absolutely zero negative reactions to your first time, and if the messages from various societal institutions and media outlets portrayed many positive images of a "first time" as a homosexual act, would you use this reason to deny your curiosity and urge?

The second component is maybe a little less cut and dry. Officially, you wouldn't be able to donate blood as per FDA policy. However, the support they give is based mostly on statistics that state the increased rates and frequencies of HIV/AIDS in the homosexual communities. These studies are also used to justify European Union policy as well. However, what they don't say is that homosexuals (and their blood) are more susceptible to HIV/AIDS or that you have it. In all likelihood, a heterosexual act could result in the transmission of HIV/AIDS just as much as in a homosexual act. These statistics are not infallible. If you get tested after the act (visit HIVTest.org for details), and find you do not have HIV/AIDS, then I see no reason why lying in that case wouldn't be justified. I consider it a form of homophobia left over from the AIDS scare and movement in the 1980's really.

Of course I'm not advocating sex with wild abandon. Be safe as best you can (it would be great if you could ask for STD test results before any sexual act with anyone, but alas they don't come pocket sized yet), and make sure you aren't getting used in a way that would make you uncomfortable or scar you. Happy travels man.

I thought most people's first sexual experience was somewhat gay i.e., girls practice their kissing skills with other girls or guys jerking off together at summer camp.

and as for the blood thing. I am pretty sure the reason is as sam states, a holdover from the dark ages of the 80s when blood wasn't tested before is was used. when you donate blood they don't test you for gayness. they test your blood for hiv/aids only after it's been donated.

 

[sam_solo26]

I thought most people's first sexual experience was somewhat gay i.e., girls practice their kissing skills with other girls or guys jerking off together at summer camp.

Well there's first sexual experience, and then there's first thrusting/penetrating act. Traditionally in many cultures, the latter has been emphasized because this is the act that perpetuates the species and bears with it the possibility for many responsibilities due to offspring (of course now every sexual act has responsibility attached, both physical and emotional). The same is true for many people engaging in homosexual acts for the first time. Now I don't know what the OP is planning to allow to happen, but he has to examine why he has these stigmas, what they mean to him, and what he'll do about them.

 

[MarkLondon]

Certainly at various times in the past, and probably even nowadays, the majority of men who have sex with women had their first sexual experience with another male. So I wouldn't worry too much about that.

However, I don't think it's a good idea to start with a threesome, unless you know the guys well and trust them in real life. Even then, I wouldn't recomend it, because sex isn't just an act, it's a form of communication and best learned one-on-one.

Giving blood would be a matter for your own conscience. You certainly wouldn't be the only man not to disclose.

 

[D_Albert Greennut]

Ok, so I kind of left right after I posted, was hurried out mainly. The guy said I could just come and watch if I wanted, they just wanted to feel someone there. So I did it. It seriously took me an hour from the time I first got the proposal to when I posted. So I got there, and it was really awkward. Saying hi's and stuff. The guys were good looking. So I felt like a creeper, but the guy who was hosting was actually really nice and said "I know you feel weird, I did to. Just let it sink in." They started making out, rubbing each others crotches and such. Then it got real when they pulled their dicks out and started stroking each other. I had a massive boner. I was sort of in an entranced state I guess you could put it. The guy suggested I take off my pants and let it get some air. Kind of tight in my jeans, so I did. It popped out of the fly which was embarassing, and they just looked at me and stared at my dick with a really shocked expression. It seems that I have a big dick (who knew)? That was the first time I had been nude in front of a person that wasn't a doctor, it was weird. I just let it hang out, watching them give blowjobs and such right next to me. The hot nice one grabbed my cock and started jacking me off. I was just completely stunned. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't want it to stop though. Then the other one started massaging and kissing my neck, which felt really good. I was not in control of my actions anymore. I told them I did not want to fuck and did not want to kiss. They were fine with that. So they started working off my boxers and shorts, and kept complementing me, which felt really good, I feel like I look bad and such, but when I stepped in the door the hot nice one said I was cute. I don't know. Anyways, they started back with each other, 69ing and rimming each other while they jacked my cock (had to get close). The nice one was joking with me this whole time, saying like "Im a top, I rim him just for his own sake" that seemed funny at the time. In one swift move they started blowing me. One was kissing and fondling while the other was blowing me. And you know what? I really didn't feel anything. A blowjob just didnt seem to compare to jacking off, even while stimulated. They kept going like that, and I felt bad for just taking, so I started jacking one of the guys cock. It felt weird, but just like it was my own in a way. I guess he was sensitive because he moaned a lot. So they stopped with me and started fucking. It was really cool to watch it. The guy who was getting fucked was sucking my cock (different than the first bj), and I still did not feel good. Licking the tip felt alright, but I just didnt feel it. The hot guy came but surprising I hadn't. The other one hadn't come either. So they got back into blowing me and me jacking them position. Then suddenly I felt a tongue on my hole. I was being rimmed! And again, it did not feel like anything. It sort of felt more like a bidet. He was licking and poking in a little, and I kinda didnt want to ask him to stop because on the ride over he said how excited he was to eat my ass out. So it finally got into a position where I was jacking the other one, the hot guy was sucking me and the other one was kissing my neck and stuff. I'm in college, and I want to try everything, so I thought "why not try sucking a cock? Im probably never going to get another chance." So I started off, it didnt taste like anything, maybe a little salt. I tried to copy what the hot guy had been doing. It was just kind of boring, so I stopped and just pinched his nipples while he jacked. I finally came into the hot guys mouth, and the other guy came on the hot guy. After cleaning up and on the ride back home, I started thinking. That wasn't enjoyable at all. I could have done the same thing with my hand. They were pros and definitely had done this before, so I doubt it was their technique. It wasnt nerves cause I lost those after I started jacking off the other guy. It just wasn't fun.
I got home and just thought it over. Today it really feels like a dream, like it didnt happen, but it did. I thought it over long and hard, and couldnt figure out why I didnt enjoy it, event though I was fully focused during the fun. I think I realised that I'm not attracted to men. I was so eager to have a sexual experience, I found men to be easier to get than girls.
I know a lot of you are going to say "Well one experience doesnt prove anything." But I have to say it really did. I dont regret doing it, cause now I know that Im just not attracted to men like that. I know a lot of you are also going to say something to the extent of "you sucked a cock, you must be a little gay." And a lot are going to counter with "no labels, just be". I'm not labeling myself. I'm just stating what I feel afterwards. Ive had time to let it sink it. I knew what I was getting into. I feel like a girl would be more fun for me, more enjoyable. I won't know till Ive tried it.
Also, the guy I blew asked me if I was sure I had never sucked cock before. He said that I gave a great blowjob for my first time. Weird....

 

[scjacker]

Hey Man, I'm proud of you. You tried it and you know your feelings..... There's nothing wrong with the way you feel. Next time, try it with a girl and let us know how that goes.

 

[Smaccoms]

Ok, so I kind of left right after I posted, was hurried out mainly. The guy said I could just come and watch if I wanted, they just wanted to feel someone there. So I did it. It seriously took me an hour from the time I first got the proposal to when I posted. So I got there, and it was really awkward. Saying hi's and stuff. The guys were good looking. So I felt like a creeper, but the guy who was hosting was actually really nice and said "I know you feel weird, I did to. Just let it sink in." They started making out, rubbing each others crotches and such. Then it got real when they pulled their dicks out and started stroking each other. I had a massive boner. I was sort of in an entranced state I guess you could put it. The guy suggested I take off my pants and let it get some air. Kind of tight in my jeans, so I did. It popped out of the fly which was embarassing, and they just looked at me and stared at my dick with a really shocked expression. It seems that I have a big dick (who knew)? That was the first time I had been nude in front of a person that wasn't a doctor, it was weird. I just let it hang out, watching them give blowjobs and such right next to me. The hot nice one grabbed my cock and started jacking me off. I was just completely stunned. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't want it to stop though. Then the other one started massaging and kissing my neck, which felt really good. I was not in control of my actions anymore. I told them I did not want to fuck and did not want to kiss. They were fine with that. So they started working off my boxers and shorts, and kept complementing me, which felt really good, I feel like I look bad and such, but when I stepped in the door the hot nice one said I was cute. I don't know. Anyways, they started back with each other, 69ing and rimming each other while they jacked my cock (had to get close). The nice one was joking with me this whole time, saying like "Im a top, I rim him just for his own sake" that seemed funny at the time. In one swift move they started blowing me. One was kissing and fondling while the other was blowing me. And you know what? I really didn't feel anything. A blowjob just didnt seem to compare to jacking off, even while stimulated. They kept going like that, and I felt bad for just taking, so I started jacking one of the guys cock. It felt weird, but just like it was my own in a way. I guess he was sensitive because he moaned a lot. So they stopped with me and started fucking. It was really cool to watch it. The guy who was getting fucked was sucking my cock (different than the first bj), and I still did not feel good. Licking the tip felt alright, but I just didnt feel it. The hot guy came but surprising I hadn't. The other one hadn't come either. So they got back into blowing me and me jacking them position. Then suddenly I felt a tongue on my hole. I was being rimmed! And again, it did not feel like anything. It sort of felt more like a bidet. He was licking and poking in a little, and I kinda didnt want to ask him to stop because on the ride over he said how excited he was to eat my ass out. So it finally got into a position where I was jacking the other one, the hot guy was sucking me and the other one was kissing my neck and stuff. I'm in college, and I want to try everything, so I thought "why not try sucking a cock? Im probably never going to get another chance." So I started off, it didnt taste like anything, maybe a little salt. I tried to copy what the hot guy had been doing. It was just kind of boring, so I stopped and just pinched his nipples while he jacked. I finally came into the hot guys mouth, and the other guy came on the hot guy. After cleaning up and on the ride back home, I started thinking. That wasn't enjoyable at all. I could have done the same thing with my hand. They were pros and definitely had done this before, so I doubt it was their technique. It wasnt nerves cause I lost those after I started jacking off the other guy. It just wasn't fun.
I got home and just thought it over. Today it really feels like a dream, like it didnt happen, but it did. I thought it over long and hard, and couldnt figure out why I didnt enjoy it, event though I was fully focused during the fun. I think I realised that I'm not attracted to men. I was so eager to have a sexual experience, I found men to be easier to get than girls.
I know a lot of you are going to say "Well one experience doesnt prove anything." But I have to say it really did. I dont regret doing it, cause now I know that Im just not attracted to men like that. I know a lot of you are also going to say something to the extent of "you sucked a cock, you must be a little gay." And a lot are going to counter with "no labels, just be". I'm not labeling myself. I'm just stating what I feel afterwards. Ive had time to let it sink it. I knew what I was getting into. I feel like a girl would be more fun for me, more enjoyable. I won't know till Ive tried it.
Also, the guy I blew asked me if I was sure I had never sucked cock before. He said that I gave a great blowjob for my first time. Weird....

yea, trust you're instinct. When I was in high school, I was NEVER attracted to women, just didn't happen. But now that I'm in college, I've found I've been having second thoughts on the subject. So one thing I've found in my personal experiences is that at least my sexuality (know nothing of yours) is constantly changing and fluctuating. Now I'm not saying anything about anything for what you should do, just keep in mnd it's not final. DOn't be afraid to try again if u want to (like I am to try out a women for the first time) lol. Being afraid is stupid, and beign left regretting not trying something is dumb too (I feel kinda dumb right now, but w/e. Thats all I got to say, have fun with THE LADIES man haha

 

[BIGBULL29]

What makes a man hard while watching porn or looking at a dirty magazine may not make him hard in real life.

There are some men who get off looking at big dicks, but they'd never want have sex with a man in real life. Yes, for some, it could just be a matter of repression, but for others it may just be a matter of "reality vs. fantasy."

You're so young! But, I can't assure that you will become less confused over time. I've 31 and still very confused about my sexuality. My only advice is to try not to think about what you are sexually all the time. Just live life without analyzing everything.

Remember to always play safe and be careful whom you choose as a sexual partner.

Take care, buddy:smile:

 

[HungLong]

Congratulations !! You may me young in the sexual department, but believe me many men in this world, older than you, don't have the correct mental "energy" to do what you did.

"Every man should know his limitations" Enjoy life !!