sexual harassment or compliment?
- Thread starter Supersized
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From what I've seen you have a long history of secondarily wounding other members on this site. In other words you get off on "blaming the victim." What is it you want form me? Is it attention? I ignored your first post on this thread. Then you came at me again. I suggested that you find another thread that you didn't find so objectionable. What the hell is keeping you here? You sound like a broken record. You have 101 ways of saying,"you are imagining it". You become more gangly and adolescent sounding by the minute. You've already been exposed as a bully who loves to prey on anyone who asks for support whether it be emotional or informational. My life goes on whether or not you stop hounding me. If you are going to be a bully at least be entertaining when you do it. I'm already falling asleep hearing you sing that same old song of yours.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
boo fucking hoo...
Buy a box of bandaids for all your seeping weeping "secondary wounds"...
YOU posted this thread and you ASKED for feedback.
READ my first post in this thread and what you will find is honestly offered and sincere feedback meant to be helpful.
Your defensive and aggressive reaction to my well intentioned feedback indicates that you know perfectly well that you are not really being harassed... and that you are the real problem... Really... your response is transparently in direct proportion to how close I am to correct.
" the lady doth protest TOO much...."
I may speak bluntly, but that is because I assume I am speaking to an adult who learned in grade school that "sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can never hurt you".
... To an adult capable of dealing with the fact that other people have other ideas that may not agree with yours... and that their disagreement with you is not a "threat" to you, nor their expression of disagreement any form of "wound".
Your sensitive imagination is not my problem... and neither I nor the rest world has to bend over to accommodate your insecurities and poor self esteem.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
If you can't deal with other people, expressing their own feelings and ideas as freely as you do your own...
then go back and hide in the Self Help section of the library and swaddle your precious fragile self in the comforting drone of psychobable books that will tell you all manner of lies about how much a right you have to feel offended at life.
Life is tough.
Toughen up...
or shatter.
your choice.
Life itself... could care less.
Buy a box of bandaids for all your seeping weeping "secondary wounds"...
YOU posted this thread and you ASKED for feedback.
READ my first post in this thread and what you will find is honestly offered and sincere feedback meant to be helpful.
Your defensive and aggressive reaction to my well intentioned feedback indicates that you know perfectly well that you are not really being harassed... and that you are the real problem... Really... your response is transparently in direct proportion to how close I am to correct.
" the lady doth protest TOO much...."
I may speak bluntly, but that is because I assume I am speaking to an adult who learned in grade school that "sticks and stone may break your bones, but words can never hurt you".
... To an adult capable of dealing with the fact that other people have other ideas that may not agree with yours... and that their disagreement with you is not a "threat" to you, nor their expression of disagreement any form of "wound".
Your sensitive imagination is not my problem... and neither I nor the rest world has to bend over to accommodate your insecurities and poor self esteem.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
If you can't deal with other people, expressing their own feelings and ideas as freely as you do your own...
then go back and hide in the Self Help section of the library and swaddle your precious fragile self in the comforting drone of psychobable books that will tell you all manner of lies about how much a right you have to feel offended at life.
Life is tough.
Toughen up...
or shatter.
your choice.
Life itself... could care less.
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Being a morally bankrupt asshole doesn't make you tough. Going upagainst an entire corporation does. The only person who thinks you are tough is you. How tough do you have to be to run your mouth off for several pages, repeating yourself over and over yet saying very little. You've got so much to say and very little to offer.
It's because of vigilant people like me that you even have the option of voicing your "opinion". The only thing you know how to do is disrespect anyone who poses a threat to your beliefs. You probably don't have any marketalble skills other than being a mega bitch. While everyone else was building skills and eventally a career, you were perfecting your back stabbing swipe. You're the heckler laughing in back of the classroom. You're so busy laughing you never learned anything except maybe how to get attention by being an asshole.
I wouldn't consider verbal abuse a social skill. It's more like a sign of an overly developed ego. In other words, you think your better than everybody.
If you don't like "psychobable", tough shit. I've got plenty more for you. The only way you've ever advanced in a competetive work enviornment is to sabotage the people unfortunate enough to be around you. The quality of your work stays at the same level while everyone elses goes down. The higher ups don't see the abuse or dare I say "harassment". They only notice that everyone is doing worse than you. You get promoted, get power ,and become a bulying boss. You identify with other bullies. You even sympathise with them. You'll back anyone who uses bullying or sexual harassment to get ahead. You have to because it's the only way you can make a living. Most bullies are incompetent because they only know how to bully.
I've always hated people like you. I have to contribute positively to societey just like alot of other people. Then some unproductive parasite like you comes along. Never carrying your own weight. Never helping the group achieve a common goal. You're just a drain on everyones resources. We wind up spending more time defending ourselves than getting any work done. As pitiful as this sounds, that's the way you want things as long as eveyone is more miserable than you are. You're nothing but a pathetic loser.
It's because of vigilant people like me that you even have the option of voicing your "opinion". The only thing you know how to do is disrespect anyone who poses a threat to your beliefs. You probably don't have any marketalble skills other than being a mega bitch. While everyone else was building skills and eventally a career, you were perfecting your back stabbing swipe. You're the heckler laughing in back of the classroom. You're so busy laughing you never learned anything except maybe how to get attention by being an asshole.
I wouldn't consider verbal abuse a social skill. It's more like a sign of an overly developed ego. In other words, you think your better than everybody.
If you don't like "psychobable", tough shit. I've got plenty more for you. The only way you've ever advanced in a competetive work enviornment is to sabotage the people unfortunate enough to be around you. The quality of your work stays at the same level while everyone elses goes down. The higher ups don't see the abuse or dare I say "harassment". They only notice that everyone is doing worse than you. You get promoted, get power ,and become a bulying boss. You identify with other bullies. You even sympathise with them. You'll back anyone who uses bullying or sexual harassment to get ahead. You have to because it's the only way you can make a living. Most bullies are incompetent because they only know how to bully.
I've always hated people like you. I have to contribute positively to societey just like alot of other people. Then some unproductive parasite like you comes along. Never carrying your own weight. Never helping the group achieve a common goal. You're just a drain on everyones resources. We wind up spending more time defending ourselves than getting any work done. As pitiful as this sounds, that's the way you want things as long as eveyone is more miserable than you are. You're nothing but a pathetic loser.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Don't call me morally bankrupt... ( though I may well be an asshole)
You are the one refusing to examine your own actions and your own behavior...
Trying to get OTHER people to toe your line is NOT moral... its fascist.
You are also the one who is foisting labels of criminality upon others for your own imagined slights.
Sorry... but you have revealed yourself to be a whiney, self obsessed, controlling jerk.
You just keep ramping up the antagonism over someone trying to give you genuinely helpful advice...
I can only assume this is how you are in the workplace, too.
People probably aren't "sexually" harassing you... more likely they simply don't like you.
Its okay... some people don't like me, either... but then, I don't imagine that they secretly want me.
You really , seriously, need to get some help. And not legal help.
You have some real problems dealing with the FACT of differing opinions and differing standards of conduct.
That is always gonna be a problem in a free society.
BTW... I just won 20 bucks on a bet that you would ramp up the insults even more in response to my last post.
You are as predictable as you are transparent.
And, calling me names? You better get some sticks or stones, 'cause names can never hurt me.
PS- they can't hurt you, either... "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to change at any moment."
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
You are the one refusing to examine your own actions and your own behavior...
Trying to get OTHER people to toe your line is NOT moral... its fascist.
You are also the one who is foisting labels of criminality upon others for your own imagined slights.
Sorry... but you have revealed yourself to be a whiney, self obsessed, controlling jerk.
You just keep ramping up the antagonism over someone trying to give you genuinely helpful advice...
I can only assume this is how you are in the workplace, too.
People probably aren't "sexually" harassing you... more likely they simply don't like you.
Its okay... some people don't like me, either... but then, I don't imagine that they secretly want me.
You really , seriously, need to get some help. And not legal help.
You have some real problems dealing with the FACT of differing opinions and differing standards of conduct.
That is always gonna be a problem in a free society.
BTW... I just won 20 bucks on a bet that you would ramp up the insults even more in response to my last post.
You are as predictable as you are transparent.
And, calling me names? You better get some sticks or stones, 'cause names can never hurt me.
PS- they can't hurt you, either... "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to change at any moment."
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Who's the one acting threatened by someone not agreeing with their beliefs?
These expositions of yours as to what you devine of my character are all revealing of your own.
FYI -I have been self employed for 23 years. I run my own, very successful business. There are no backs for me to stab. I left the corporate world because I could not stand to share the air with office nazi's like yourself.
... and I am not the one dishing out the verbal abuse. You are. I gave you a considered and well intentioned opinion, and you responded with insults and accusations.
I don't think I am better than everbody... though you are convicning me that I am certainly better than you.
Once again... get a mirror... or read your own posts carefully... they mirror your character well enough.
I don't give a rat's ass why anyone goes for my jugular. All I care about is scrambling their eggs. Do you actually think I care about how predictable I am? If someone expects to get their butts handed to them when they try to screw me over, GOOD! I want to be predictable. Go out and build a life you fucked up sociopath. Pain is not based on interpretation. If it was, they wouldn't have invented psychological torture, mental cruelty, or verbal abuse. Do you tell that to all of your targets? To manipulate them into tolerating or putting up with your 5 year old temper tantrums? You don't need to answer that. I know the answer is yes.
Your fairytale about your stellar business is a crock of shit. So is your reason for leaving corporate america. You probably built a bad enough reputation that no one will hire you. That is usually how it ends for scumbags like you. You lie to others about themselves in a negative way and then turn around a tell some positive lies about yourself. You don't have true self esteem. Your esteem is in your fake image. I'd recommend you get some therapy for this severe case of narciscism, but evil people can't be cured. You don't need understanding you need a swift kick in the pants.
Supersized,
If you don't like Phil's advice just ignore it. Put him on ignore. There is no reason for you to start personally attacking him. Nobody is going to want to participate in any thread that you start if you continue this attack behavior. You have been a member here long enough to know what to expect. Not everyone is going to give you the advice that you want to hear. When you started this thread you opened yourself up. If you can't take someone's constructive criticism.....don't start threads on here asking for advice.
If you don't like Phil's advice just ignore it. Put him on ignore. There is no reason for you to start personally attacking him. Nobody is going to want to participate in any thread that you start if you continue this attack behavior. You have been a member here long enough to know what to expect. Not everyone is going to give you the advice that you want to hear. When you started this thread you opened yourself up. If you can't take someone's constructive criticism.....don't start threads on here asking for advice.
Ah, the old false dilemma tactic. You aren't even as old as that trick.
"Even if I loved to travel, I would never take a guilt trip.", Unknown.
You and Phil need to develop thicker skins. No one is being attacked. It's just an intellectual exercise. Don't take it personal.
Keep your double standards to yourselves. May I politely suggest that you both start hitting the ignore button if you are so traumatized by my "attacking behavior". BOO FUCKING HOO!!
I thought this thread was interesting up to the point where you and Phil started going back and forth.....then you lost me. The thread seemed to lose it's focus. Can't you get the thread back on to an interesting track?
Although I will admit that I did enjoy Phil's description of his going commando with his big cock going down his pants leg. Yum!!!!!
This thread is interesting to me because females are always dealing with some of these issues. I have always been a short petite BBW. I have always had big boobs. I just think if you have certain attributes......there are going to be fans of those attributes and their eyes are going to be drawn to those areas. There are a lot of sex addicts out there.....or people that don't feel like they are getting enough sex.....and they might not be able to help theirselves. People will try to get away with what they think they can get away with. But if it is not consentual (touching and such) it is wrong. If you don't stand up for yourself and say something......when someone touches you inappropriately......no one else will. If you don't say something.....people always assume you are consenting.
By the way, I am not so traumatized by your attacking behavior.......it just isn't something that I care to be wasting my time reading. It isn't productive to your cause. And in my opinion it isn't interesting reading.
But that is just me.....I am a lover not a fighter.
Although I will admit that I did enjoy Phil's description of his going commando with his big cock going down his pants leg. Yum!!!!!
This thread is interesting to me because females are always dealing with some of these issues. I have always been a short petite BBW. I have always had big boobs. I just think if you have certain attributes......there are going to be fans of those attributes and their eyes are going to be drawn to those areas. There are a lot of sex addicts out there.....or people that don't feel like they are getting enough sex.....and they might not be able to help theirselves. People will try to get away with what they think they can get away with. But if it is not consentual (touching and such) it is wrong. If you don't stand up for yourself and say something......when someone touches you inappropriately......no one else will. If you don't say something.....people always assume you are consenting.
By the way, I am not so traumatized by your attacking behavior.......it just isn't something that I care to be wasting my time reading. It isn't productive to your cause. And in my opinion it isn't interesting reading.
But that is just me.....I am a lover not a fighter.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Well, I lost interest, too.
The guys a broken record and as transparent as glass.
Like a lot of people... he imagines others see and think and react the same way he does... and so accuses others of the very things he is most guilty of himself.
His divinations as to my characteristics are laughably autobiographical.
The guys a broken record and as transparent as glass.
Like a lot of people... he imagines others see and think and react the same way he does... and so accuses others of the very things he is most guilty of himself.
His divinations as to my characteristics are laughably autobiographical.
Secondary wounding?
Wow, I'll Google that at my earliest opportunity. Forgive me as I am still shaken by the ineffable emotions those words have evoked in me.
Besides, you completely missed the point of my post, which was not to deny that harassment occurs (including on the West Coast), but that at least in my experience here, it's never been condoned.
I don't often agree with Phil on anything, but I think he may have a point here. You do sound like you could be hypersensitive and blowing this out of proportion. If someone squeezes past you in a narrow space and brushes against you, they're not deliberately touching you. If they have to cross a room to brush up against you when there's six feet of space behind you, then maybe they are.
If you're concerned that people stare at your crotch, go up a size and you'll show less.
Failing that, are you working in the right industry? No office I've ever worked in has had a harassment problem and you've been harassed in how many? Maybe it's time you looked at your own behaviour and appearance. Maybe what you perceive as harassment was someone's gesture of affection.
Now, all that being said, if you are genuinely being harassed, I'd suggest keeping notes of what is said and done. If you can, get witnesses to back you up and then take it as far as you have to, but think carefully before you do, because if it is a frivolous case, you could be ruining someone's life whether or not it goes your way and you could also end up out of a job with a reputation which will make it hard for you to find another one.
Finally, as so many other posters have said, don't screw around at work. it almost always turns nasty.
Not what you wanted to hear? Tough. We don't always get what we want.
If you're concerned that people stare at your crotch, go up a size and you'll show less.
Failing that, are you working in the right industry? No office I've ever worked in has had a harassment problem and you've been harassed in how many? Maybe it's time you looked at your own behaviour and appearance. Maybe what you perceive as harassment was someone's gesture of affection.
Now, all that being said, if you are genuinely being harassed, I'd suggest keeping notes of what is said and done. If you can, get witnesses to back you up and then take it as far as you have to, but think carefully before you do, because if it is a frivolous case, you could be ruining someone's life whether or not it goes your way and you could also end up out of a job with a reputation which will make it hard for you to find another one.
Finally, as so many other posters have said, don't screw around at work. it almost always turns nasty.
Not what you wanted to hear? Tough. We don't always get what we want.
