sexual issues in my relationship

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dasizeinquest, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. dasizeinquest

    dasizeinquest New Member

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    I am in a commited relationship with my girlfriend but there are some issues involved and I need some help. First of all, I would honestly consider myself somewhat sexually inexperienced. My love life I am having with my girlfriend is lacking and I need some help in spicing it up. She is younger than me so I honestly dont think she can give me the help I need. Sexually, I dont consider her to be experienced at all. I guess you can say we are both learning. There are a number of issues I have with her sexually which I will get into more as we begin to talk further. I guess you can say I have not been with many women and I just need the confidence when Im having sex to be able to take control of the situation. Dont get me wrong, Im not an ugly guy or anything like that, but I guess I have just been a bit on the shy side for most of my life. What I am looking for is a sinlge and/or married couple or single lady who would be interested in taking it slow at first and give me a few pointers and/or lessons. If you are just looking for some fun and not a relationship that would be great as well. I love my girlfriend a lot and I want to make the relationship I currently have with her last for a long time


    well the thing is this....Im engaged to this girl and well....we dont really have a great sex life. I dont know why?! I guess you can always say I have always been into the freaker things but I have come to find out that she really is not into them. Like I enjoy doing the web cam thing with other couples, etc. Or I enjoy posting pics of ourselves on the net. Well I have come to find out she is not interested. I also hate the fact that she hates to shave her pussy. She says it takes too much time. Other sexual issues I have with her is that I take too long to cum with her - she often gets tired out too quickly and Im forced to cum when Im not ready I guess. Im not sure exactly how to word it. She refuses to use birth control - for whatever reason and I still have to wear a condom even though we are engaged. She says its to keep from getting her pregnant. Maybe its the fact that Im not sexually attracted to her anymore? Like I said she does not like to give me BJs and I guess you can say I have kind of demanded them from her. She hates wearing thongs which is a big turn on for me for a girl to wear them. I have also been questioning my own dick size for whatever reason. I have also considered having sex with another woman just to see if its really me who has the sexual problem or its her. There is also another issue - I sometimes dont really want to orgasm and/or cum in her while we are having sex because I am scared of getting her pregnant. So sometimes Im forced to not actually orgasm fully and I actually hold things back a bit. Anyway, would you have any suggestions for me? Any advice on where I can get more sexual experience? Any other advice you have for me on the subject?
     
  2. D_Sue Ellen Brastretcher

    D_Sue Ellen Brastretcher Account Disabled

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    Don't marry her. :wink:
     
  3. invisibleman

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    I agree. It seems that he and his girlfriend are really out of sync with their sexual needs. They need to find other partners that suit themselves. I hope that they don't have kids then the guy is stuck. Get out while you can.
     
  4. SpoiledPrincess

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    If they had kids she'd be stuck in all likelihood far more than he would.
     
  5. invisibleman

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    You are right about that, Spoiled Princess. I apologize for my bullshit statement. You got me.

    Spoiled Princess==>:nutkick:<==Invisibleman
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

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    Oh I didn't mean to get you, I was just pointing it out because they'd be equally trapped. But her more than him :)
     
  7. diamond

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    Don't marry her, seems to me from what you have described a very dull and lack luster type of relationship.:redface:

    I don't care how much you can love a person, you need sexual compatibility as well.:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:
     
  8. invisibleman

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    No problem, I read that statement and it appeared kinda sexist. I could understand where you were coming from after reading it.

    It is easy for a guy to just split after help conceive a child. Man, my family has a lot of kids. Let's just say I have a bunch nieces and nephews. The family name will be here. :smile: I am the odd one the unpaternal one.

    And certain hetero male members of my family luuuuuvvvv to fuuuuucccckkk women without condoms...and I always hear from my sister: "Guess what?" and I always guess:"So and so is having another baby.":rolleyes:

    And this certain member has two baby mama type dramas. That is his cross to bear and price to pay. And not mine. I have my own issues.

    I did deserve the nut kick. I can take a punch, SP. :smile:

    Invisi
     
  9. Principessa

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    Okay, I understand that you love each other and are otherwise quite happy; but good sex is really important in a relationship. Everyone says it's not but that's not true. :cool: Why do you think so many married men cheat? It's not cause they are seeking great conversation! They are looking to get their rocks off.

    I suggest you see a couples counselor and maybe a sex therapist so you can get on the same page.
    If that doesn't work you can't marry her. You will both end up resenting each other.:redface:
     
  10. SpoiledPrincess

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  11. B_icem

    B_icem New Member

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    get rid of her...
     
  12. Intransition

    Intransition New Member

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    You do need to rethink why you are with her. It is so much easier
    to stay in an unfulfilling relationship than to take a risk and find someone
    who is so much more compatible with you. Sex is very important in a
    marriage and if you are having a problem with it now it will only get worse
    as time goes on. And I am not asking you to consider anything I am not
    going thru, we had mind blowing sex but everything else was wrong,
    I stayed for 10 years because it was easier than taking that risk.
     
  13. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    You're pretty much just stupid.

    You're going to leave your fiance so you can have meaningless sexual relationships with random older women?

    You're going to leave your fiance because she won't shave her pussy?

    You're going to leave your fiance because she doesn't want to post her nude pictures on the fucking internet?

    Yea, I can't avoid the cold hard facts... You're a fucking idiot. You don't deserve her.
     
  14. Jovial

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    Maybe she should find a guy to show her some things while you find a lady to show you some things. It's only fair. :rolleyes:

    Seriously, why are you getting married if this is such a big problem?
     
  15. Guy-jin

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    If you have to ask yourself if you should get married to this person, you already know your answer.

    (It's no, by the way.)
     
  16. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    um,, WHY do you WANT to marry her???
    you know love isn't enough right?

    she isn't gonna change,, RUN from this girl as fast as you can,, she is totally selfish, and inexperience is no excuse,, it won't get better, she is too selfish,, wont use birth control,, won't wear a thong,,, won't shave her bush????

    WTF!!!
    she's not in love with you, face it,, cut your losses (if there are any) and get on with your life
     
  17. lttlgrllst

    lttlgrllst New Member

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    Don't get married whatever you do. Love is great but there's more than just the emotional side. Sex is a BIG part of the whole picture and don't even think that it will get better. You will end up resenting each other.
     
  18. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    I never had mindblowing sex in my marriage,it was good in the beginning,, but we were both very inexperinced, but he was a good man, loved me, and was a good father to our children, and i made a commitment, and i stayed for 17 years,, he went through a midlife crisis i guess,, became very depressed, wouldnt get help,, i have yet to find a man that gives me mind blowing sex is't lazy as far as work,, so we don't have the same goals in other area,, but i am over 40,, and the pickins are slim with men over 40,, you never know,, if you branch out a little bit,, you may find someone better, but if all you have is mindblowing sex,, thats not enough to build a relationship
     
  19. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Sex or lack of is very important in a relationship.
    Why are you looking for someone else? You want to find out if it's her or you? Do you think that will happen if you are with someone else?

    It's you.
    And her.
    Together, not meshing.

    I think you are selfish, and this is coming from a married woman in an open relationship. I fuck others and it is not only ok with hubby, but he gets off on it. You know what though? I would NEVER fuck anyone without him knowing. That, is cheating.

    I think if you are not sexually compatible with her, you are not compatible in other ways too.

    Chances are, you will stay with her and be miserable and make her miserable too. I hope you prove me wrong.
     
  20. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    I'm not going to let you off the hook here.

    You're making this about her, when what you are describing is behavior from a guy that does not want to settle down.

    You are describing visuals and activity with other couples and webcams. You're going to want the next thing which is to gravitate that to another couple.

    I'm not judging you, but you clearly are still looking at relationship from a physical gratification only and that is reserved for a guy that still wants to experiment before he is ready to be mature with one woman. YOu're already talking about sex with another sexually experienced woman. When a sexually experienced woman, may not be in to the things you're describing.

    You're asking about more experiences and trying to frame that it's her lack of interest, when there is an incompatibility here or you are not ready to be monogamous.

    Her being apprehensive about webcams and taking pictures for another couple isn't an abnormal request to turn down. Some women want intimacy to be between you and her, and that's it.

    You're describing more of an exhibitionist curiosity, sex with another woman, etc.

    Be honest, you may love her dearly, but you're not ready to be married. Tell her the truth and just tell her YOUR needs, don't make it about what she isn't willing to do. She's no more in the wrong, nor wants to be judged for her wants, any more than you don't want to be judge or in the wrong for wanting more riskier acts. Just keep in mind, once you cross that boundary, you don't get to control the outcome or the baggage that comes with it.

    You didn't describe what else besides your sexual relationship that makes you want to marry this girl. I understand you said you've always been shy. Did you ask her to marry her, just to get her to have sex with you? If that's the case...dude. You owe her the truth and it will upset her, but man up, tell her the truth so she can move on and you can do the same.

    luck.
     
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