sexual issues in my relationship

B_cigarbabe

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I don' think you guys have read his other posts and to be fair it's not all just him.This girl has issues about sex,her mother told her it's just something to endure.She says she doesn't like giving head,because her last bf made her do it,but that was 3 years ago,and i say thats a long enough time to get over it.
I also counseled dasize,not to marry this girl. He says they have religion,raising the kids in a particular way,and he's been with her for 3 years. They also live in her condo, and he doesn't want to give up, the material things,that her family provides.
cigarbabe:saevil:
 

D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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I don' think you guys have read his other posts and to be fair it's not all just him.This girl has issues about sex,her mother told her it's just something to endure.She says she doesn't like giving head,because her last bf made her do it,but that was 3 years ago,and i say thats a long enough time to get over it.
I also counseled dasize,not to marry this girl. He says they have religion,raising the kids in a particular way,and he's been with her for 3 years. They also live in her condo, and he doesn't want to give up, the material things,that her family provides.
cigarbabe:saevil:

Nor am I suggesting that it's all her or all him. I'm saying this is not the recipe for a lasting marriage; especially if his thought is to have something on the side to get more experience. That's a weird rationalization and if it's security of a roof that he wants, he can rent a flat and get a roommate. Sleeping with a housemate is not a reason to stay in a situation that is not working.

I won't categorize what is a normal amount of time to get over something either. Some people just don't like certain acts and whether there is trauma behind it or not - I go back to what I wrote earlier: She's no more in the wrong for her wants...than he is not in the wrong for wanting more. They are incompatible or he's not being honest with her and that conversation needs to happen before they get married to either move on, or to get some help to sort it out.
 

B_cigarbabe

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He doesn't want counseling, and I have spoken to him extensively about it.
I was always telling him, he needs to get out, or get help.Also she doesn't want help with "her" sexual issues, and that is a big problem. For them both. He should absolutely get out, forget what her parents are providing him, {the flat,job etc.} and find a girl more to his liking,but since he has no experience,he should start by getting some. She's not the only screwed up woman, whose parents are willing, to provide for her.Why shouldn't she also be on the pill? Because she wants to get married .
C.B.:saevil:
 

CaptainChaos

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# 1 and #2 reasons for divorce....sex and money.
They are about tied. Don't underestimate them.

If you're having problems now with no chance of compromise... this isnt a good sign.
 

Principessa

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I don' think you guys have read his other posts and to be fair it's not all just him.This girl has issues about sex,her mother told her it's just something to endure.She says she doesn't like giving head,because her last bf made her do it,but that was 3 years ago,and i say thats a long enough time to get over it.
I also counseled dasize,not to marry this girl. He says they have religion,raising the kids in a particular way,and he's been with her for 3 years. They also live in her condo, and he doesn't want to give up, the material things,that her family provides.
cigarbabe:saevil:
I agree with you 100% he told me the details in PM and my advice was to run far and fast. This is a bad situation that will only get worse.
 

bluesteel81

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There is to much emphasis on this sex issue. Mind you we are talking about marriage here not a girlfriend or some fuck buddy. He needs to express his concerns with her and try to work it out. Its like this car commercial i saw, it said "dont like your car get a new one, dont like your nose get a new one, dont like your spouse get a new one. This is ONE of the reasons marriages are not working in this day. What ever happened to commitment.

This is my input on another thread i read.This chick named SUGARANDSPICE was asked the question "so is a huge cock worth it if the guy attached to it is a jerk or a idiot" and she said "absolutely if he knows how to use it". WOW!!! that really says alot about who she is and what she values. In my world women like that get treated accordingly