in my lifetime i have experienced so many different pressures from so many different people for so many different reasons.... the biggest ones have been on my sexuality, which still faces its share of hardships, but i have become much more confident in that part of myself with age, and can stand up for myself with a lot more confidence even though the battles have actually become a lot harder....
in actuality, i think i put more pressure on myself now than other people do.... at face value, i come off as pretty normal to most people so the notion of being pressured by others isn't something that comes in to play while i go about my day to day life among other 'normal' people.... it's only as they get to understand my inner workings that things start to get weird.... i'm seen as quite social but i'm actually a hardcore introvert.... i'm seen as a newly established young adult but i'm actually nearing the rites of middle age.... i'm seen as 'relationship material' but i've actually always been single and have no plans on changing that.... i'm seen as a highly educated, well traveled person who should be upwardly mobile in his career but i actually never went to university, have not traveled since i was 14, and am still waiting for a career breakout that actually gets me out of the bottom of the pudding cup....
most of these assumptions happen because of where most of my peers happen to be at this stage in their lives, and it doesn't occur to anyone around me that i might just be an exception to all the above stated things.... my own personal sense of integrity, standards, and beliefs rule me out of most of these things, and in turn i often have a difficult time relating to a lot of people.... for that reason, i used to put a lot of pressure on myself to conform to this pre-set lifestyle and it only resulted in a lot of depression and exhaustion because i burned myself out trying to fake it for them....
this past new year's day, i adopted a theme which i use as an almost daily affirmation to myself and the world around me.... it often gets me through those tough moments and helps me to re-realize my power as an individual.... the chorus is especially empowering....
Michael Jackson - Scream - YouTube