Sexual tastes changing as you get older

[Phil Ayesho]

She sounds unusual. Truly not understanding, really unable to empathize? Does that really sound like a woman? (No.) Are you sure she wasn't trying to manipulate you into prioritizing her instead of them, fully understanding their position and role in your life and theirs in yours?

I'll drop a man in a heartbeat for placing pursuing me higher in priority than caring for his child.

Well... I admit I am biased.
She definitely had a borderline personality disorder that was not obvious at 30- but certainly became so by 50.

We lived for a while in a circle of her friends in Portland... a group of about 14 folks- all of whom had decided not to have kids...
and it was really weird for me, because the things they thought were important and mattered just had so little relevance to the things I thought mattered.

Like- they were ALL boycotting Nike, because Nike employed "children" in asia.

I had BEEN to asia. And I tried to explain to them that the parents of those kids had camped out in line for weeks to try and get their kid one of those jobs... because the ONLY other alternative was their children working in a field in the sun doing the stoop labor that was the only job their parents had available.
Because, in places where people get a bowl of rice for a full days work- the 'children' do not have the option of not working.
There are no playgrounds or soccer fields for them to spend their days idling enjoying their families affluence.

I tried to explain to them that the money they spent on nikes was the ONLY thing they had ever done that might actually improve the lives of children in the third world. That the part of China I spent time had started the same way... but within 5 years had a standard of living that enabled those communities to Build parks, and schools, and invest more money in their children's future.

But they simply could not wrap their heads around it.
I think the responsibility that some folks feel for future generations is purely an abstract.

But its not an abstract for those who have children.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Well... I admit I am biased.
She definitely had a borderline personality disorder that was not obvious at 30- but certainly became so by 50.

We lived for a while in a circle of her friends in Portland... a group of about 14 folks- all of whom had decided not to have kids...
and it was really weird for me, because the things they thought were important and mattered just had so little relevance to the things I thought mattered.

Like- they were ALL boycotting Nike, because Nike employed "children" in asia.

I had BEEN to asia. And I tried to explain to them that the parents of those kids had camped out in line for weeks to try and get their kid one of those jobs... because the ONLY other alternative was their children working in a field in the sun doing the stoop labor that was the only job their parents had available.
Because, in places where people get a bowl of rice for a full days work- the 'children' do not have the option of not working.
There are no playgrounds or soccer fields for them to spend their days idling enjoying their families affluence.

I tried to explain to them that the money they spent on nikes was the ONLY thing they had ever done that might actually improve the lives of children in the third world. That the part of China I spent time had started the same way... but within 5 years had a standard of living that enabled those communities to Build parks, and schools, and invest more money in their children's future.

But they simply could not wrap their heads around it.
I think the responsibility that some folks feel for future generations is purely an abstract.

But its not an abstract for those who have children.

I had never had that explained to me. Despite being childless, I understand that explanation just like I understood a fellow bus passenger from some eastern African country who told me that grain donations from wealthy countries like ours was devaluing the local grain, and that once the famine and blight had passed, oir "generosity" was destroying comminuities and actually killing people. I cannot wrap my head around NOT understanding. Wow. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I had never had that explained to me. Despite being childless, I understand that explanation just like I understood a fellow bus passenger from some eastern African country who told me that grain donations from wealthy countries like ours was devaluing the local grain, and that once the famine and blight had passed, oir "generosity" was destroying comminuities and actually killing people. I cannot wrap my head around NOT understanding. Wow. Thanks for sharing.

Sounds like you are more intelligent and self aware than that crowd in Portland.

You remind me of a story...
A close friend of mine is deeply involved in developing bean crops that will produce higher protein yields in the poor soils of third world countries. He came up with a great new bean hybrid that was 4 times the yield and they distributed it to several african countries.

But on a subsequent visit, the women in more than one of these villages demanded to have a meeting with his team and they BEGGED him to stop giving their husbands those bean seeds.

Turns out that, Sure... those beans gave them four times as many beans of much higher quality.... Enough that their husbands would take the surplus to town and sell for significant money... but then their husbands would stay in town, spending and gambling and womanizing with that money until they were broke- because they had never HAD surplus money before, and because their culture gave the women no real say to stop it.

So their husbands would come home- plant a crop, and then disappear for months leaving the women and children to fend for themselves... and their rates of HIV infection and drug addiction were soaring- as a direct result of suddenly having better bean crops.


Just goes to show that its a lot harder to one of 'help' than it appears.

 

[EllieP]

From across the room I could pass for 10 or 15 years younger. Up close maybe I could get by five years or so. I think (hope) that most people are surprised to learn that I'm 46. I'm not shy about it.

Years ago I used to attract an older crowd, but nowadays I find that there are a lot of younger guys who are expressing a desire for older women. I love hanging them up to dry when they tell me that. I usually respond as if I'm offended "Older woman???" I gauge them by their response. Some recover gracefully and some have to clean up puddles.

I like older personally. I've already shared my huge old lady crush on a 63-year old man. Fortunately, hubby rolls with it. He knows he'll be 63 in another few years and hoping to replace that crush.

 

[Strokingwood4u]

I thought about it for a bit, and I can't really say that my tastes have changed, but perhaps just expanded a bit.

I'm still into all the things that got my pink-bits tingling way back when... but there have been new discoveries along the way that get me just as juicy.

Care to share what the new things are that get your lovely "pink bits" juicy?

 

[BetterFuture]

My taste in women has broadened.

This ^^^^

I find that as I have gotten older I appreciate little features more - I find more women to be more beautiful for more reasons - I might find eyes that are gorgeous - a smile - a jawline - a cuve in the back - a confidence - a humor - a unique way of looking at life - an intelligence - all can be incredibly attractive.

And this ^^^^

I still find similar things attractive as I did when I was young, but now I can see more subtle beauty. I also view some women around my age as very attractive now... but 20 years ago, they would have seemed "old"... but I see things that I like now that I might not have noticed long ago.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

She sounds unusual. Truly not understanding, really unable to empathize? Does that really sound like a woman? (No.) Are you sure she wasn't trying to manipulate you into prioritizing her instead of them, fully understanding their position and role in your life and theirs in yours?

I'll drop a man in a heartbeat for placing pursuing me higher in priority than caring for his child.

Long ago I had a relationship with a somewhat iffy woman. She seemed mature at times, but other times was quite selfish and almost childish. I let the relationship take its course. One day the situation presented that I had plans to see her. Later that day I had the opportunity to visit my daughter who was living with my then-estranged wife. I apologized to the woman that Imwould have to cancel our plans as I would be making the long drive to spend a few hours with my daughter.

I expected disappointment but understanding. What I got was a hairy fit. At the end of her rant, she said, "You're just going to have to decide whether you want me or her".

I replied, "Thank you so much for making this easy." She looked genuinely confused: "Um, what do you mean?" I calmly answered, "As you've never had children, you'll just need to take me at my word. Nobody will ever take priority over my daughter. I'll always choose her first, especially if pushed the way you just did with me. We're through."

 

[AlteredEgo]

Long ago I had a relationship with a somewhat iffy woman. She seemed mature at times, but other times was quite selfish and almost childish. I let the relationship take its course. One day the situation presented that I had plans to see her. Later that day I had the opportunity to visit my daughter who was living with my then-estranged wife. I apologized to the woman that Imwould have to cancel our plans as I would be making the long drive to spend a few hours with my daughter.

I expected disappointment but understanding. What I got was a hairy fit. At the end of her rant, she said, "You're just going to have to decide whether you want me or her".

I replied, "Thank you so much for making this easy." She looked genuinely confused: "Um, what do you mean?" I calmly answered, "As you've never had children, you'll just need to take me at my word. Nobody will ever take priority over my daughter. I'll always choose her first, especially if pushed the way you just did with me. We're through."

To me, these ultimatums are unfathomable. I stopped being friends with a guy because I found out he was fucking a mutual friend of ours who had begun to neglect her son and daughter. The second I found out she was at his house all night, while her family were home alone, I was done with that friendship. How dare he enable her bad behavior, I thought. What kind of friend is that? He had the nerve to tell me a neighbor was looking out for them. That neighbor lived on another floor, on the other side of the building, and it was the projects. That neighbor eventually called CPS, and I did my best to help provide stability for them during the day until they could be registered in a new school while their mother got her fucking shit together. I love their mother like a sister, but that was some of the worst parenting ever. I did what I could because she seemed to be having a nervous breakdown after a series of bereavements. She claims she wasn't having a breakdown. So, what, for a couple of years there she just doesn't love her family enough to protect and nurture them? We just do not talk about it. They turned out okay.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Care to share what the new things are that get your lovely "pink bits" juicy?

I never knew until a few years ago how much I loved playing with man-butt. It's a special occasion kind of thing, I don't have an-all-access pass to that sweet-ass. Darnit!

My physical preferences have also just expanded.. as far as my tastes for the female form anyway. I used to be pretty typical, curves and long hair got my attention. Now like others have mentioned, I notice more subtle things in a woman's beauty.

As for my tastes in the male form, if anything those have gotten smaller. If you don't resemble my guy in some way, I'm probably not gonna turn my head for a second glance.

 

[328982]

As I grow older I find customer service becomes increasingly important

 

[flynn]

My taste in women hasn't changed. What has changed is my openness to having sex with men. I never would have considered it 20 years ago but in the past 10 years I've had a few encounters with men.

 

[ManchesterTom]

Sounds like you are more intelligent and self aware than that crowd in Portland.

You remind me of a story...
A close friend of mine is deeply involved in developing bean crops that will produce higher protein yields in the poor soils of third world countries. He came up with a great new bean hybrid that was 4 times the yield and they distributed it to several african countries.

But on a subsequent visit, the women in more than one of these villages demanded to have a meeting with his team and they BEGGED him to stop giving their husbands those bean seeds.

Turns out that, Sure... those beans gave them four times as many beans of much higher quality.... Enough that their husbands would take the surplus to town and sell for significant money... but then their husbands would stay in town, spending and gambling and womanizing with that money until they were broke- because they had never HAD surplus money before, and because their culture gave the women no real say to stop it.

So their husbands would come home- plant a crop, and then disappear for months leaving the women and children to fend for themselves... and their rates of HIV infection and drug addiction were soaring- as a direct result of suddenly having better bean crops.


Just goes to show that its a lot harder to one of 'help' than it appears.

Been there mate, I've lived on the Dark Continent...

 

[persiandude]

When I was a teenager I was only attracted to people my age. I thought 22 looked and was way too old. As I entered my 20's my age range in potential mates expanded, and I raised my cap to 29. If this continues, in a few years I may find people in their 30's attractive, although it hasn't happened yet.

 

[849142]

Let's use "Gilligans Island" as an example. As a kid, the big debate was Mary Ann or Ginger (Mary Ann for me). As I have aged and see an occasional rerun, Mrs Howell is looking hotter and hotter.

 

[BetterFuture]

Let's use "Gilligans Island" as an example. As a kid, the big debate was Mary Ann or Ginger (Mary Ann for me). As I have aged and see an occasional rerun, Mrs Howell is looking hotter and hotter.

That's funny! And yes, Mary Ann was way hotter than Ginger.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

As for my tastes in the male form, if anything those have gotten smaller. If you don't resemble my guy in some way, I'm probably not gonna turn my head for a second glance.

Yep, if she doesn't look like some version of my wife, I'm far less interested.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

That's funny! And yes, Mary Ann was way hotter than Ginger.

Mary Ann kicks Ginger's ass in nearly every poll I've seen on this.

She's also aged *really* well.....

 

[Wave85]

I never knew until a few years ago how much I loved playing with man-butt. It's a special occasion kind of thing, I don't have an-all-access pass to that sweet-ass. Darnit!

My physical preferences have also just expanded.. as far as my tastes for the female form anyway. I used to be pretty typical, curves and long hair got my attention. Now like others have mentioned, I notice more subtle things in a woman's beauty.

As for my tastes in the male form, if anything those have gotten smaller. If you don't resemble my guy in some way, I'm probably not gonna turn my head for a second glance.

LOL - I do not like anything near my butt... once had a woman who could not stop going there - it was a constant battle

 

[persiandude]

Let's use "Gilligans Island" as an example. As a kid, the big debate was Mary Ann or Ginger (Mary Ann for me). As I have aged and see an occasional rerun, Mrs Howell is looking hotter and hotter.

Plus, she has all that money.

 

[TexanStar]

That's funny! And yes, Mary Ann was way hotter than Ginger.

Regardless of whether some preferred MaryAnn, it's really hard to me to look at photos of Tina Louise (Ginger) from back in the day and see chopped liver.