Sexual tension with coworker

Jjz1109

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So, I work with a guy in another office out of town. I am attracted to him, not sure of his feelings. When he comes into town for a visit there is a lot of eye contact and some sexual tension. We are both married, but seems the tension is there. How do I confirm? Can't act on it if not there, and screw up business relationship. Help!
 

Exbiker

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Is there a third party / common acquaintance who knows you both?

If not, I'd say forget it.

Even if there is, it may not be wise or fair to see if that person can channel any communication...

You could just ask. But if you are both married, maybe that should stop you doing anything?

Fantasies about other people come and go. It's no big deal. Probably.
 

Call_Me_Daddy

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mikeyinbrooklyn

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Why do people get married? Seems a pretty empty tradition nowadays.

You don't want to get married? I definitely want to get married! Emotionally, I like the notion that there is one person with whom you can bond forever. On a practical level, too, it's nice to know that there is someone who will take care of you/ you can take care of. The famous marriage vows "In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer" etc, indicate the real value. If you are married, you don't have to go through the rough patches in life alone. Yes, not all marriages work out. But many do, and they provide a romantic, social and economic structure for the people in it. I can't wait to find the right guy. I've wanted to get married since I was a kid.
 

sdbg

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There's no harm in asking him to join you for lunch - that's innocent. Get out of the office and socialize with him, and you can feel him out. If you get along well and have common interests, you can always suggest that you could hang out and see where it goes from there.

I've been struggling with an intense emotional and physical attraction to a coworker for a year and a half. The thing that makes me keep the brakes on is that I like my job and would never want things to get weird. I have to look at the situation as life is reminding me that I can indeed have very strong feelings for another person. I haven't had that for many years, and it has added another dimension to my life. Unless I see more effort coming from my coworker to hang out together and be friends instead of acquaintances, I'll stay at a safe distance.
 

Joegrant43

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I think it's fantastic there are so many faithful people out there in the world we live in today. But we are still human and not perfect. If it's a one time thing we are all entitled to make mistakes. If you are hooking up while married several times a month that's another story. Having sex with someone while in a relationship does make it right but again we are just human and far from perfect.
 
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wavejock

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Everyone gay or straight or bi at one point or another have an attraction for a co worker. Its not that uncommon. I dont advocate it but it is probably one of the better hookups to do because both parties..especially two married guys want to keep it private. But if anyone gets wind of it...forget it.. the entire office will hear the rumor.
 

Trevor

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Why do people get married? Seems a pretty empty tradition nowadays.


Yeah, it seems like the main thing the institution of marriage does these days is provide a very good living to lawyers who specialize in divorce. Most of my friends have been married and divorced, some more than once. One of my college roommates is already on his third marriage and he is not even 40.

For men (at least here in the US) marriage is a raw deal. It might be ok if you don't own anything but with people marrying later and later in life many have accumulated significant assets that they are putting at risk by entering into a marriage contract with someone they they may not know that well.

If You marry a woman and then decide you can't stand living with her and want a divorce you have to give her half of your assets. Same deal if she decides to leave you. If you have kids together you may as well kiss the house goodbye because no judge is going to put a mother and her children out on the street even if she is a cheating whore who has been having an affair with the teenage pool boy. If the divorce settlement doesn't go your way (and in most cases the husband gets the shaft) could find yourself out on the street and the teenage pool boy living in YOUR house, sleeping in YOUR bed, and fucking YOUR now ex-wife (this actually happened to one of my friends)

For the life of me I cannot understand why gay men in the US are fighting so hard for the right to get married when straight men are abandoning the institution in droves. If you simply cohabit with someone it is much easier (and cheaper) to dissolve the relationship a decade or so from now when you decide that you can't fucking stand to be around each other anymore. Instead of calling in a high priced lawyer, the partner whose name is not on the deed or the lease to the house simply moves out gets a new place and takes the furnishings and housewares that belong to him or her with them.
 
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881393

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That's how you get sexual harassment charges... Done even.
 

Phil Ayesho

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A- do not shit where you eat.

B- Try being honorable.
either be sure your WIFE is cool with you fucking around... or get a divorce if she isn't and you fully intend to be a fuckaround guy anyway... or RISE above the fact that other people can be attractive.
Just because you LIKE something doesn't mean you have to indulge in it.