Sexuality stuff

[cock23]

I know this is a fairly old thread but I wanna throw in my two cents anyway...

First of all, don't feel bad. I don't think there's a need for you to feel really bad because this isn't something really awful (though it might seem like that to you), and plus sitting there and feeling bad won't change anything. Instead, as others have said, you need to get out there and actually try doing something with a woman and see what happens.

And secondly, at the age you're at, hormones do strange things to the mind and body, and people tend to experiment sexually in areas where they wouldn't experiment usually and try out things they havn't tried before. For example, one of my good friends (she's 18) described herself as completely straight until the age of 17, when she decided she wanted a relationship with a woman instead of a man. After a year of being with her and experimenting all sorts of sexual things, she decided that being with a woman wasn't what she wanted. So she ended the relationship and is now in a long term relationship with a man, and has decided that a woman-woman relationship definetly isn't for her. But until she actually tried it, she was always thinking about it and what it would be like and if she's actually a lesbian. It actually reminds me of where you are at the moment with your feelings.

So what I'm trying to say here is...you actually have to go out there and try something out with a member of either sex and see what feels right to you, and until you try you'l never know. But from your posts I get the impression that you're just really bi curious and that you find both sexes attractive-and that's completely fine because lots of people are the same, even supposedly "100% straight" people. It's just not something that most people admit in real life. At the same time, being bi curious and finding the male body attractive doesn't make you gay if you prefer the female body and being with a woman over a man.

And if you try it out with both sexes and find you prefer the male one, then that's absolutely fine and it's nothing to feel bad about at all, trust me. Sure, some people might not like that, but your real friends will accept you for who you are, and you don't need those who won't. :smile:

Good luck!

 

[Stephenmass]

More than anything, I need to know how a real kiss feels and what sex is like. I just hope I won't be ridiculed if I don't know all the right moves.

Larocca, everybody here at one time was a virgin and unsure how they would be if they found themself having sex with someone of either sex. All I can tell you is to be yourself, be what you can be, and do what feels good both to you and whoever is lucky enough to be your partner.

Always keep in mind that if you are uncomfortable with something, NO means NO. If they won't respect that, get up and leave!

 

[cock23]

Always keep in mind that if you are uncomfortable with something, NO means NO. If they won't respect that, get up and leave!

Couldn't have said it better myself. :smile:

 

[larocca]

Oh guys, thanks for you comments. When I opened this thread, I was at a really bad phase of my life with something else going on, but nowadays it's all back to normal.

It is only when I wish for some sort of a security that I want to be with a woman. However, at all other times I'd like to be with a man. It's just that Croatia is a really bad country to be a gay man in, so I'm worried. Being with a woman just puts a mask on me and I don't think that would ever be the solution. I don't want to torture myself.

However, still being inexperienced, I'm opened to try both sides if an opportunity announces itself.

 

[atlas23]

Yo, girls seem to care about experience, but they don't really. She will be more nervous than you when it comes tothe time. If you really want to be with a girl, find the one you like and approach her.
One thing you must know about girls is that they love confidence in a man. If you are not comfortable with yourself, they will notice and will not pay atention to you. If you are cool, and relaxed, everything will flow. Just be yourself, once you let your real you come out, girls will be attracted to your personality. They LOVE that, no matter how weird you think you are.

 

[larocca]

Yo, girls seem to care about experience, but they don't really. She will be more nervous than you when it comes tothe time. If you really want to be with a girl, find the one you like and approach her.
One thing you must know about girls is that they love confidence in a man. If you are not comfortable with yourself, they will notice and will not pay atention to you. If you are cool, and relaxed, everything will flow. Just be yourself, once you let your real you come out, girls will be attracted to your personality. They LOVE that, no matter how weird you think you are.

I will keep that in mind.

 

[cock23]

It is only when I wish for some sort of a security that I want to be with a woman. However, at all other times I'd like to be with a man. It's just that Croatia is a really bad country to be a gay man in, so I'm worried. Being with a woman just puts a mask on me and I don't think that would ever be the solution. I don't want to torture myself.

However, still being inexperienced, I'm opened to try both sides if an opportunity announces itself.

I totally understand what you mean, people in the Balkans are horribly homophobic, racist and generally intollerant to any difference, it's definetly one of the things I DON'T miss about living down there. In fact when I went back this summer some of the homophobia I heard coming out of people's mouth's made me feel physically sick.

But like I said....your family and real friends will accept you for who you are if you tell them you're gay or bisexual. And if some of your friends abandon you for it then they're not real friends and you don't need them in your life. One thing I've learnt over the years is that if people don't accept you for who you are then they aren't worth bothering with at all.
I still sometimes get racist comments because I'm different to everyone else (being from Bosnia & Herzegovina and having a strong accent) but one day I realised that all those people are stupid, pre-judgemental morons so I just find it funny now how people can be so shallow. You should do the same too if you get horrible comments.

And yeah as you say don't just bury these feelings, act upon them and see what happens-you may find you like being with a man, or you may find that you don't like it and want to stick to women.

Good luck! :smile:

 

[larocca]

But like I said....your family and real friends will accept you for who you are if you tell them you're gay or bisexual. And if some of your friends abandon you for it then they're not real friends and you don't need them in your life. One thing I've learnt over the years is that if people don't accept you for who you are then they aren't worth bothering with at all.

True. There are days when I think I should just do it because I know that when I go through a rough period it's got to get better because then finally I'll be able to honest with people. I can't even make friendships because I'm not honest with anyone. For once in my life, I just want to have great friends.

I still sometimes get racist comments because I'm different to everyone else (being from Bosnia & Herzegovina and having a strong accent) but one day I realised that all those people are stupid, pre-judgemental morons so I just find it funny now how people can be so shallow. You should do the same too if you get horrible comments.

True. They even make horrible comments on people that are from the different side of the country. If you have a different dialect, you'll definitely be discriminated against. Same thing with BiH.

And yeah as you say don't just bury these feelings, act upon them and see what happens-you may find you like being with a man, or you may find that you don't like it and want to stick to women.

Good luck! :smile:

I'll try to do my best.