Shallow Best Friend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lopo2000, May 7, 2010.

  1. lopo2000

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    Today I was chatting with one of my best friends. Something that he said really bothered and surprised me. He was asking about the trip I had to Turkey and I told him how nice it was. Suddenly he reacted by saying, "if I were you, it wouldn't be that nice..." I asked why and he answered it would be because the people I went with had no nice looks whatsoever. I didn't really understand him at first and really thought he was joking. Then he started explaining that when we were going to faraway place like that, it's important to go with people who were handsome (he's gay by the way) because we'd take a lot of pictures and they were going to be in the pictures. And another reason would be, going for a trip with "nerds" like them would not be fun.

    Well, then, he was serious. I was thinking maybe he had a reason to say that because he was good looking. But he really disappointed me by saying that because well, I am not hot and I'm an average joe. And the fact that we had been through ups and downs together, and became best friends as we are today, I'm even more disappointed that he couldn't think that that kind of statement would hurt me, since he knew how I was struggling with accepting myself when I was early in university years.

    Did you guys ever have any experience like this? How did you react?
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I don't think he was referencing you; I think he was dissing your friends. I think he was including you in the sense of any future trip you might make together but laying out his parameters. Still, he sounds just as shallow as you're afraid he is and you never know if he'll turn. This is a wake up call.

    For the record, and even under his strict "conditions", I'd travel with you in a minute.
     
  3. TheRob

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    I agree that he wasn't saying YOU were unattractive but I also agree with both of you that he is indeed pretty damn shallow
     
  4. t1ctac

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    I interject that it doesn't really matter if he was implying anything about your looks. The fact that he would judge not only the friends you choose to keep, but also your judgment in general for keeping these "nerdy" friends and also choosing to go on a trip with them is far more telling of his character.

    Whats he in, high school?
     
  5. lopo2000

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    I guess he wasn't talking about me, but still judging people by his or her looks would be something sensitive in my zone. Saying someone is not worth it because of their look would twitch my sensitivity and make me feel uncomfortable.

    And thank you for your willingness Nick8. Maybe someday we can make it. :)


    That's why I was a bit dazzled as how to react. Of course I didn't really say anything much to avoid conflict but I really hope he'd turn around someday. He knew better than making that kind of statement in front of me.
     
  6. yhtang

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    Hmm, I'm not too sure I would classify such a person as a "best friend".
     
  7. starstruck

    starstruck New Member

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    run in the other direction of this "friend"
    if he turns left, you turn right !!!!!!!!
     
  8. catman

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    remember- looks fade, hearts and souls do not (ie whats on the inside will always be there)
     
  9. green carnation

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    somebody, besides nick8, wanted to go to turkey with you! He is jealous of your trip and/or you having other friends
     
  10. hud01

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    Agreed. Who knows what he says about you to his other friends.
     
  11. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I'm going to the UK and Europe for three weeks in late July. :wink:
     
  12. lopo2000

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    Actually, I had this silent fear that he might do this to me. Because whenever he was with me, he'd talk behind every person he was ever friends with. But I wonder why he was the popular one and I was stuck behind him.

    Oh my! That should be very nice! I wish I had the money! :(
     
  13. fratpack

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    Shallow .... Yes, absolutely!
    Best Friend...Hardly.
     
  14. BiItalianBro

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    In the final analysis, his outlook is really sad. I know people like him...they have every right to be vapid, and i have every right to keep them at arms length.

    Hate to tell you this, but in my experience, 'shallow best friend' is like 'honest politician' or 'guaranteed get rich scheme'. They may be fun to hang out with socially...but keep the relationship on their level.....superficial.
     
    #14 BiItalianBro, May 7, 2010
    Last edited: May 7, 2010
  15. hud01

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    I was out with a bunch of co-workers a few years ago. These two girls would rip whoever went to the bathroom. He is gay, he must have a small cock. Some people just get off on knocking others down. Makes them feel better. The funny thing is neither one had a boyfriend, even though they were both cute.


    He probably is very outgoing and two faced to people whcih is why he is popular, But in the end people will find out about him and either he will constantly be making new friends or won't have many.
     
  16. AlteredEgo

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    Maybe he's jealous of your time. Maybe he wishes he had been the one to go on vacation with you, and resents that he wasn't part of the group.
     
  17. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    Still that's very immature way to express it. IT's manipulative. I've noticed that when my mother doesn't want me to spend time with someone she will find something wrong with them and try to mention it to me like it's friendly advice.
     
  18. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    Want some company?
     
  19. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    gays tend to have twisted characters and personalities, and don't say what they mean with any directness

    he probably was hurt and jealous would be my first suspicion
     
  20. TheRob

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    funnily enough that advice would have them both going the same way
     
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