Sharing a shower with straight guys..

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1088711

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Hi guys, I was thinking something lately.. more questioning myself, actually. I have this issue when it's about sharing nudity situations like gang showers or locker rooms. I have decided recently to join a team sport.. this means I will have team mates where I will share a shower every time.. but so far so good. The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me. I'll try to explain this better: my worries are about potential bias against sharing manhood intimacy with an open gay guy. Obviously from my side is a normal moment - normal for a gay guy that shares a shower with a bunch of guys.. - but what about others? This has been always a problem for me that halt myself to participate team sports. Last time I was in the same situation (I was younger) it came natural to hide my sexuality because was a very straight male environment and felt uncomfortable sharing my personal life. Any of you has been in my same situation? Any suggestion on how to overcome on this matter? Suggestions are appreciated! Thanks guys!
 
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328982

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Hi guys, I was thinking something lately.. more questioning myself, actually. I have this issue when it's about sharing nudity situations like gang showers or locker rooms. I have decided recently to join a team sport.. this means I will have team mates where I will share a shower every time.. but so far so good. The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me. I'll try to explain this better: my worries are about potential bias against sharing manhood intimacy with an open gay guy. Obviously from my side is a normal moment - normal for a gay guy that shares a shower with a bunch of guys.. - but what about others? This has been always a problem for me that halt myself to participate team sports. Last time I was in the same situation (I was younger) it came natural to hide my sexuality because was a very straight male environment and felt uncomfortable sharing my personal life. Any of you has been in my same situation? Any suggestion on how to overcome on this matter? Suggestions are appreciated! Thanks guys!
I guess your shyness could be to do with feeling different in an environment where you are exposed, literally? There's maybe some sexual tension there, for you, as you are among a group of naked men. This sets you apart from the group, in a very masculine and socially bonded situation. So you've hidden your sexuality in the past to meld in with the group. Certainly I've never been able to overcome my shyness in the shower and locker room, so know how you feel. I suspect there's some projection and possibly internalised conflict going on. My guess is that your team mates would be fine with your being gay, particularly if you are open and straightforward about it, as long as you aren't uncomfortable about it.
 
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1088711

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I guess your shyness could be to do with feeling different in an environment where you are exposed, literally? There's maybe some sexual tension there, for you, as you are among a group of naked men. This sets you apart from the group, in a very masculine and socially bonded situation. So you've hidden your sexuality in the past to meld in with the group. Certainly I've never been able to overcome my shyness in the shower and locker room, so know how you feel. I suspect there's some projection and possibly internalised conflict going on. My guess is that your team mates would be fine with your being gay, particularly if you are open and straightforward about it, as long as you aren't uncomfortable about it.

Thanks mate, I think you are right. That was my first idea, being open and straightforward about it. In my mind its like an elephant in the room, I can't pretend I'm not embarrassed until i don't come 'clean' with who I am. Will see. How so you feel uncomfortable showing in front of other? I mean.. I can guess why, but seems you must be very phisically self confident. Why don't show off ?
 
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Galloper

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Hi guys, I was thinking something lately.. more questioning myself, actually. I have this issue when it's about sharing nudity situations like gang showers or locker rooms. I have decided recently to join a team sport.. this means I will have team mates where I will share a shower every time.. but so far so good. The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me. I'll try to explain this better: my worries are about potential bias against sharing manhood intimacy with an open gay guy. Obviously from my side is a normal moment - normal for a gay guy that shares a shower with a bunch of guys.. - but what about others? This has been always a problem for me that halt myself to participate team sports. Last time I was in the same situation (I was younger) it came natural to hide my sexuality because was a very straight male environment and felt uncomfortable sharing my personal life. Any of you has been in my same situation? Any suggestion on how to overcome on this matter? Suggestions are appreciated! Thanks guys!
Maybe you should try to not overthink it. You and them Will get used to it.
 
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328982

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Thanks mate, I think you are right. That was my first idea, being open and straightforward about it. In my mind its like an elephant in the room, I can't pretend I'm not embarrassed until i don't come 'clean' with who I am. Will see. How so you feel uncomfortable showing in front of other? I mean.. I can guess why, but seems you must be very phisically self confident. Why don't show off ?
:) Hard to explain - it's just a feeling of being tense and self-conscious that I don’t really enjoy. When I was on a uni swim team I got used to being naked in front of team mates but never fully relaxed. As I say, maybe there was a sort of sexual charge there for me. There were some well hung guys on the team! I suppose I felt a bit of an imposter in the group, although as it turns out I wasn’t the only gay in the village. Maybe if I'd 'come clean' that would have cleared the air but that felt like making too big a deal of it. As you'll be married next year I imagine that's likely to come up naturally in conversation and needn’t be an elephant or a 'drama'.
 
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Do straight and gay males take showers differently ?
No but they might have different feelings about showering next to other naked men. Just as a straight man might feel different about showering next to naked women?
 
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:) Hard to explain - it's just a feeling of being tense and self-conscious that I don’t really enjoy. When I was on a uni swim team I got used to being naked in front of team mates but never fully relaxed. As I say, maybe there was a sort of sexual charge there for me. There were some well hung guys on the team! I suppose I felt a bit of an imposter in the group, although as it turns out I wasn’t the only gay in the village. Maybe if I'd 'come clean' that would have cleared the air but that felt like making too big a deal of it. As you'll be married next year I imagine that's likely to come up naturally in conversation and needn’t be an elephant or a 'drama'.

Interesting and curious. If I were you, I would be proudly naked instead eheh. See? We always want to be what we are not :) indeed, I'm very proud and natural in my social life of what I am so no issues there.. just don't want to undermine my self confidence in a masculine environment where I just want to relax and have fun playing the sport I like with other people.
 

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Com'on, you know that it's not that. Is more people feeling 'teased' psychologically because are naked in the same room with a gay guy.

I do not know how things re in the UK; but in America males do stupid things, when they are clothed, or unclothed. They can mercilessly tease / harass / harangue each other, they throw things at each other, they, hit each other, they may even touch each other inappropriately . I knew people who got teased every day, because they did not have the latest clothing style; or the latest sneaker; or a bad hair cut. Often a pack mentality rules; and then a weakness on someone is found the entire pack will join in to exploit it

I just described by early years in school ( no age referenced because of the TOS )

Do; or don't. Participate or Not. It is your call
 
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Interesting and curious. If I were you, I would be proudly naked instead eheh. See? We always want to be what we are not :) indeed, I'm very proud and natural in my social life of what I am so no issues there.. just don't want to undermine my self confidence in a masculine environment where I just want to relax and have fun playing the sport I like with other people.
Absolutely. I've always been a bit shy and socially anxious so probably it's an extension of that. The mentality of phrases like 'batting for the other team' and 'playing for the other side' possibly doesn’t help in this context, where it's about bonding with your team. Certainly I don’t see being gay as a weakness, just different, and obviously it's your call. Hope you have fun! :)
 
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Well my take on it is if a guy isn't comfortable nude around other men or showering with mates, then he needs to talk about it. I personally refuse to be friends with any guy who I'm not mutually comfortable being naked around.

As for guys messing around, if they're mates it shouldn't matter if physical contact is made in a non-sexual way (and if it was sexual and consensually reciprocated then again there's no issue). Yet if the guys a total stranger and randomly does it then that's a problem.
 
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1088711

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Well my take on it is if a guy isn't comfortable nude around other men or showering with mates, then he needs to talk about it. I personally refuse to be friends with any guy who I'm not mutually comfortable being naked around.

As for guys messing around, if they're mates it shouldn't matter if physical contact is made in a non-sexual way (and if it was sexual and consensually reciprocated then again there's no issue). Yet if the guys a total stranger and randomly does it then that's a problem.

Intersting perspective. Well, I wish I were comfortable naked with mates. Strangers are fine, not with mates.. i should work on this maybe.
 
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Well my take on it is if a guy isn't comfortable nude around other men or showering with mates, then he needs to talk about it. I personally refuse to be friends with any guy who I'm not mutually comfortable being naked around.

As for guys messing around, if they're mates it shouldn't matter if physical contact is made in a non-sexual way (and if it was sexual and consensually reciprocated then again there's no issue). Yet if the guys a total stranger and randomly does it then that's a problem.
Re: messing around sexually, that depends a bit on the space - not okay in a public shower imo, whether it's with mates or strangers.
 

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Hi guys, I was thinking something lately.. more questioning myself, actually. I have this issue when it's about sharing nudity situations like gang showers or locker rooms. I have decided recently to join a team sport.. this means I will have team mates where I will share a shower every time.. but so far so good. The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me. I'll try to explain this better: my worries are about potential bias against sharing manhood intimacy with an open gay guy. Obviously from my side is a normal moment - normal for a gay guy that shares a shower with a bunch of guys.. - but what about others? This has been always a problem for me that halt myself to participate team sports. Last time I was in the same situation (I was younger) it came natural to hide my sexuality because was a very straight male environment and felt uncomfortable sharing my personal life. Any of you has been in my same situation? Any suggestion on how to overcome on this matter? Suggestions are appreciated! Thanks guys!
"The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me." - I agree; this is where the issue starts. Quite simply; You Are Not Responsible For Their Feelings! What you bring up is not your issue, it's their issue. Take some pressure off yourself and try considering this your opportunity to help others to expand their horizons. I've been in many gang showers and not one of them was all 100% straight guys, or all 100% gay guys. If your mindset is, "it's just a shower" you, and everyone else will move passed this quickly. See it for what it is; a locker room - where it's exactly the appropriate place for guys to get naked, shower, and get dressed. If you think about it... any negative feelings will only bother you, if you allow it to take control of you and your feelings!
 
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1088711

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"The issue starts when I'm openly gay (about to get married next year) and I feel embarrassed for my straight team mates sharing nudity with me." - I agree; this is where the issue starts. Quite simply; You Are Not Responsible For Their Feelings! What you bring up is not your issue, it's their issue. Take some pressure off yourself and try considering this your opportunity to help others to expand their horizons. I've been in many gang showers and not one of them was all 100% straight guys, or all 100% gay guys. If your mindset is, "it's just a shower" you, and everyone else will move passed this quickly. See it for what it is; a locker room - where it's exactly the appropriate place for guys to get naked, shower, and get dressed. If you think about it... any negative feelings will only bother you, if you allow it to take control of you and your feelings!

Thanks for the suggestion mate! I will try to stick with this mantra and see how it goes.
 

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I played sports in high school and college, and am a three-to-four-day-a-week gym rat. I've showered with lots of gays guys. Many of them I've called friends. Sure, some of them may be attracted to me, but it's no big deal. I often look right back. I wouldn't give it a thought if I were you.